his spare time. It went against everything in him to be the bad guy.
Except now he was. He was the bully.
It made him sick to his stomach how he had left Simone laying on the floor , shoulders trembling. He didn’t see her tears but it didn’t take a genius to know that she was crying. And the really fucked up part about the whole thing was that he was the cause of her grief. He’d treated her worse than a two-bit whore on the street who’d given him an STD and all because he was still angry over an incident that had nothing to do with her. The fact that he was now cut off from the fights or that Misha was expecting some favor from him that could jeopardize his freedom had nothing to do with her.
Deep down, he knew his personal issues weren’t the thing s that bothered him the most. It was the fact that he still had feelings for Simone despite telling himself that he was over her a long time ago. When he’d first seen her, something about Simone Carter had called out to him. He wanted to get to know her better. Not only was she beautiful, but she was smart, had a great head on her shoulders and seemed kind. He’d learned a lot about her through Noelle who constantly sang her praises, so when they finally met face to face Paul fell hard. This woman had soon became the star of every single one of his fantasies. He had casually asked Noelle if Simone was single and he was thrilled to learn that though she dated sometimes, it was only casual.
Getting dates was never a problem for him since he made it past his awkward adolescence but when she turned him down it was crushing. Around that time, she was just opening up her boutique and he figured she wanted to focus on that so he backed off and bided his time. After a few months , he tried again only to be rejected again. And shortly after she’d told him no again, he’d overheard that damning conversation between Simone and Noelle. It was a blow to his ego that hurt him down to his soul. This was a woman who he could actually see himself having a future with , but it seemed as if she didn’t even view him as a man. That would have been a blow to any man’s masculinity.
The kicker, was seeing her getting fucked against a building in a dirty alley with someone he was almost positive she’d just met that night. It made him sick to his stomach. He focused on his own business venture and dated around to forget about her , though she was never far from his mind. None of those women were able to make him forget about her. It was Simone who made his dick hard from just the thought of her and his pulse race whenever she was close. Just a whiff of her sweet scent was enough to get his hormones racing like a teenager with his first crush.
Paul had convinced himself that if he could have sex with her, he could exorcise Simone out of his system. It was gratifying to know that she wasn’t as immune to him as he’d previously thought but it seemed he was only able to get through to her when he treated her in a less than gentlemanly way. He’d teased and tormented her, making her crave him as he had her. He wanted her to know what it was like to lay awake at night unsatisfied because she couldn’t have the one person she wanted to be with the most. He wanted to punish her for making the mistake of calling him nice .
So tonight with his adrenaline still pumping and all the thoughts swirling in his head, like his father, Misha, and how he’d nearly killed a man he didn’t know , he texted Simone. Why he thought it would be a good idea to contact Simone , he still didn’t know . But when he touched her, he wanted to be gentle, take her in his arms and hold her close to him. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was and how long he’d dreamed of having her naked beneath him. Instead, he was reminded of that godforsaken conversation and visions of her and the stranger in alley infiltrated his brain. It brought out the monster in him. It shamed him that he didn’t have the
Except now he was. He was the bully.
It made him sick to his stomach how he had left Simone laying on the floor , shoulders trembling. He didn’t see her tears but it didn’t take a genius to know that she was crying. And the really fucked up part about the whole thing was that he was the cause of her grief. He’d treated her worse than a two-bit whore on the street who’d given him an STD and all because he was still angry over an incident that had nothing to do with her. The fact that he was now cut off from the fights or that Misha was expecting some favor from him that could jeopardize his freedom had nothing to do with her.
Deep down, he knew his personal issues weren’t the thing s that bothered him the most. It was the fact that he still had feelings for Simone despite telling himself that he was over her a long time ago. When he’d first seen her, something about Simone Carter had called out to him. He wanted to get to know her better. Not only was she beautiful, but she was smart, had a great head on her shoulders and seemed kind. He’d learned a lot about her through Noelle who constantly sang her praises, so when they finally met face to face Paul fell hard. This woman had soon became the star of every single one of his fantasies. He had casually asked Noelle if Simone was single and he was thrilled to learn that though she dated sometimes, it was only casual.
Getting dates was never a problem for him since he made it past his awkward adolescence but when she turned him down it was crushing. Around that time, she was just opening up her boutique and he figured she wanted to focus on that so he backed off and bided his time. After a few months , he tried again only to be rejected again. And shortly after she’d told him no again, he’d overheard that damning conversation between Simone and Noelle. It was a blow to his ego that hurt him down to his soul. This was a woman who he could actually see himself having a future with , but it seemed as if she didn’t even view him as a man. That would have been a blow to any man’s masculinity.
The kicker, was seeing her getting fucked against a building in a dirty alley with someone he was almost positive she’d just met that night. It made him sick to his stomach. He focused on his own business venture and dated around to forget about her , though she was never far from his mind. None of those women were able to make him forget about her. It was Simone who made his dick hard from just the thought of her and his pulse race whenever she was close. Just a whiff of her sweet scent was enough to get his hormones racing like a teenager with his first crush.
Paul had convinced himself that if he could have sex with her, he could exorcise Simone out of his system. It was gratifying to know that she wasn’t as immune to him as he’d previously thought but it seemed he was only able to get through to her when he treated her in a less than gentlemanly way. He’d teased and tormented her, making her crave him as he had her. He wanted her to know what it was like to lay awake at night unsatisfied because she couldn’t have the one person she wanted to be with the most. He wanted to punish her for making the mistake of calling him nice .
So tonight with his adrenaline still pumping and all the thoughts swirling in his head, like his father, Misha, and how he’d nearly killed a man he didn’t know , he texted Simone. Why he thought it would be a good idea to contact Simone , he still didn’t know . But when he touched her, he wanted to be gentle, take her in his arms and hold her close to him. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was and how long he’d dreamed of having her naked beneath him. Instead, he was reminded of that godforsaken conversation and visions of her and the stranger in alley infiltrated his brain. It brought out the monster in him. It shamed him that he didn’t have the
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