said.
“But—”
“I got him. Open the bathroom door.”
Yeah. That would be nice. I need to go to the bathroom. Again.
And then I was sitting on the floor by the tub and Leonard was leaning over the tub running water. I finally turned my head. It was no more trouble than trying to screw a large bolt through the center of the earth.
“Throw this shit away,” Leonard said.
I saw Brett’s hands taking my old clothes.
I felt cold. And then I was lifted, and I felt wet. But it was a warm wet. I didn’t feel cold anymore. I was drifting comfortably through space, and the great black planet called Leonard was leaning over me in the tub.
“He going to be okay?” Brett said.
“Goddamn right he is.”
I closed my eyes, and as I drifted down into the wet warmth, I heard Brett say, “What … what is it? What’s wrong?”
“Life,” Leonard said.
26
When I opened my eyes I was still warm, but I wasn’t wet. I was warm because I was in bed with the covers pulled up to my chest. Leonard was sitting by my bedside reading one of my paperbacks. I said, “What are you doing here?”
“Well,” Leonard said. “I finish this book, I’m gonna steal everything you got while you’re lying there like a dumb ass. And then I’m gonna turn heterosexual and me and Brett are gonna run off together, but not until we sell your organs to science and burn the house down and collect the insurance money. I was thinking we might buy a pig to take with us, start a hog farm.”
“You need two pigs,” I said. “One male, one female.”
“Guess I hadn’t thought that through.” Leonard reached out and took my hand. “You back, brother?”
“Was I gone?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Brett? I remember seeing her, hearing her, but I couldn’t answer. Where is she?”
“Downstairs fixing me and her some breakfast. Want me to add you to the list?”
“That would be nice … But, what happened?”
“You had what some people call a nervous breakdown, and what I call a major fuckup by way of an easy chair and crapping your pants. You peed too. The world got hold of you and whipped your ass, Hap. But only for a round. You’re back now and pretty soon you’ll be off the stool and back in the fight. Though you may have to start with some tomato cans and work your way up to the contenders.”
“I’m glad Brett called you.”
“I’m not. I had to change your clothes and bathe you, wash the shit off, and then dry your ass with a towel, put you in your jammies, and carry you upstairs. I tell you now, boy, you got to lay off the pancakes if you want me carryin’ your fat ass up a flight of stairs. Let me have Brett fix you some eggs or somethin’.”
Leonard got up and walked toward the bedroom door.
I said, “Leonard.”
He paused, looked at me. “Yeah?”
“A man couldn’t ask for a better brother.”
“Hell, I know that.”
27
I was halfway through my scrambled eggs and bacon, sitting in bed with a tray, enjoying it, looking forward to my coffee, when suddenly I felt there was something I was trying to remember, something I wanted to say. It roamed around the alleys of my mind like a drunk trying to find where he’d dropped his car keys.
Brett was in bed with me, stretched out beside me, a pillow propped behind her head. She wore shorts and a sweatshirt. She smelled like perfume and fried foods. Leonard was in the chair next to the bed. He had been talking about things that didn’t matter, and it was exactly what I wanted to hear. Those things that didn’t matter were really good conversation right then. I knew Leonard thought I was bad off because he even asked me if I would tell a joke. He hates my jokes.
I didn’t have a joke. I was too weak to have a joke. I could see he was actually relieved, and so was Brett.
“Did Leonard tell you I wanted to put you down, but he insisted you were going to be all right? I was about to call the vet and have it done, and he showed up.”
“There was a moment
“But—”
“I got him. Open the bathroom door.”
Yeah. That would be nice. I need to go to the bathroom. Again.
And then I was sitting on the floor by the tub and Leonard was leaning over the tub running water. I finally turned my head. It was no more trouble than trying to screw a large bolt through the center of the earth.
“Throw this shit away,” Leonard said.
I saw Brett’s hands taking my old clothes.
I felt cold. And then I was lifted, and I felt wet. But it was a warm wet. I didn’t feel cold anymore. I was drifting comfortably through space, and the great black planet called Leonard was leaning over me in the tub.
“He going to be okay?” Brett said.
“Goddamn right he is.”
I closed my eyes, and as I drifted down into the wet warmth, I heard Brett say, “What … what is it? What’s wrong?”
“Life,” Leonard said.
26
When I opened my eyes I was still warm, but I wasn’t wet. I was warm because I was in bed with the covers pulled up to my chest. Leonard was sitting by my bedside reading one of my paperbacks. I said, “What are you doing here?”
“Well,” Leonard said. “I finish this book, I’m gonna steal everything you got while you’re lying there like a dumb ass. And then I’m gonna turn heterosexual and me and Brett are gonna run off together, but not until we sell your organs to science and burn the house down and collect the insurance money. I was thinking we might buy a pig to take with us, start a hog farm.”
“You need two pigs,” I said. “One male, one female.”
“Guess I hadn’t thought that through.” Leonard reached out and took my hand. “You back, brother?”
“Was I gone?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Brett? I remember seeing her, hearing her, but I couldn’t answer. Where is she?”
“Downstairs fixing me and her some breakfast. Want me to add you to the list?”
“That would be nice … But, what happened?”
“You had what some people call a nervous breakdown, and what I call a major fuckup by way of an easy chair and crapping your pants. You peed too. The world got hold of you and whipped your ass, Hap. But only for a round. You’re back now and pretty soon you’ll be off the stool and back in the fight. Though you may have to start with some tomato cans and work your way up to the contenders.”
“I’m glad Brett called you.”
“I’m not. I had to change your clothes and bathe you, wash the shit off, and then dry your ass with a towel, put you in your jammies, and carry you upstairs. I tell you now, boy, you got to lay off the pancakes if you want me carryin’ your fat ass up a flight of stairs. Let me have Brett fix you some eggs or somethin’.”
Leonard got up and walked toward the bedroom door.
I said, “Leonard.”
He paused, looked at me. “Yeah?”
“A man couldn’t ask for a better brother.”
“Hell, I know that.”
27
I was halfway through my scrambled eggs and bacon, sitting in bed with a tray, enjoying it, looking forward to my coffee, when suddenly I felt there was something I was trying to remember, something I wanted to say. It roamed around the alleys of my mind like a drunk trying to find where he’d dropped his car keys.
Brett was in bed with me, stretched out beside me, a pillow propped behind her head. She wore shorts and a sweatshirt. She smelled like perfume and fried foods. Leonard was in the chair next to the bed. He had been talking about things that didn’t matter, and it was exactly what I wanted to hear. Those things that didn’t matter were really good conversation right then. I knew Leonard thought I was bad off because he even asked me if I would tell a joke. He hates my jokes.
I didn’t have a joke. I was too weak to have a joke. I could see he was actually relieved, and so was Brett.
“Did Leonard tell you I wanted to put you down, but he insisted you were going to be all right? I was about to call the vet and have it done, and he showed up.”
“There was a moment
Similar Books
