heels. I stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb because I wasn’t like that.
I couldn’t be bothered to help any of the boys, I really couldn’t. I think they must have had a telling off by someone - maybe Peter - because they were unnaturally polite to me.
But at the break time, I had to go and see Sonia.
‘ Come in, Emily.’ She indicated a low seat while she sat behind a high desk. Classic interrogation technique. I wondered if she was going to shine a light in my eyes.
‘ I just wanted to speak to you privately. Apparently Leanne and her team have been concerned about you for some time. You have been demotivated, distant from the students and have not been a constructive team member.’
I began to switch off at her psychobabble. She sounded like Clive.
‘ You are an adult. You should have taken responsibility for your actions and resisted starting a relationship with a student who is also a minor. If you were having problems you should have spoken to your team leader, i.e. Leanne.’
‘ I spoke to Di!’ I couldn’t resist saying. ‘Not because I didn’t want to speak to Leanne, but Di just happened to be in the office when I went in.’
‘ And what was the result of this?’
‘ Di was sympathetic but I don't think she told Leanne. I don’t know.’
‘ Don’t you think you should have taken responsibility and found out?’
‘ I suppose so, but- I- the only performance review I got was when OFSTED were coming and they wanted me to say the right things.’
‘ Really?’ Sonia made a note. ‘So you felt you weren’t getting proper feedback about your job performance. Hm.’
‘ Yes. I felt like I didn’t get enough support.’
‘ Duly noted. However Emily, your behaviour - despite this lack of support - is, I’m afraid, despicable. You allowed yourself to fall into a relationship with Jamie, who was supposed to be under your care. You kept it secret, made no attempt to stop it, and compromised his studies and those of other students i.e. Luke Edwards. I have no doubt that Jamie and his friends drink alcohol and go to nightclubs but it is against the law for an adult to take them there. Jamie is a troubled young man from a violent background and this episode surely cannot have made him any less so.’
I felt tears in my eyes, and gulped hard. Put like that, it sounded awful. As if I had deliberately tried to hurt him.
‘ You are extremely lucky Mr Norton does not want to take this further, or that Jamie is not younger. I hope if he was younger, you would not have pursued a relationship with him! I suggest that you never work with young people again and will not give you a reference for any such job again. You have brought this college into disrepute and your reputation would follow you.’
‘ But-‘
‘ Yes? Anything inaccurate about my summary?’
I shook my head.
‘ Please leave. I will see you tomorrow.’ She looked away.
I swore so violently in my head just then. All the words Jamie used. So I led him astray, did I? What about how he led me? Tears of shame stung my eyes, I hurried to the ladies toilets and spent a few minutes in the cubicle where no one could see me crying or swearing. At least in a construction department, the ladies was a place where hardly anyone went.
I really couldn’t be bothered to go back to carpentry. Everyone would see how mortified I was and make it worse. I had done what I had to do in giving Jamie’s stuff back and seeing Sonia, so I went to the staff room. People avoided my eyes but I ignored them, cleared out the few things in my locker and just walked out. Actually more boys than usual eyed me appraisingly, but no one said anything, thank God.
I phoned Clive when I got home, there was no time like the present. I was shaking, but didn’t care anymore.
‘ Hey.’ I tried to sound sexy, ha ha. ‘It’s Emily Walker.’
‘ Oh hiya, Emily.’ He had his warm voice on. ‘Great to talk to you. How are you?’
‘ Guess what? They’ve
I couldn’t be bothered to help any of the boys, I really couldn’t. I think they must have had a telling off by someone - maybe Peter - because they were unnaturally polite to me.
But at the break time, I had to go and see Sonia.
‘ Come in, Emily.’ She indicated a low seat while she sat behind a high desk. Classic interrogation technique. I wondered if she was going to shine a light in my eyes.
‘ I just wanted to speak to you privately. Apparently Leanne and her team have been concerned about you for some time. You have been demotivated, distant from the students and have not been a constructive team member.’
I began to switch off at her psychobabble. She sounded like Clive.
‘ You are an adult. You should have taken responsibility for your actions and resisted starting a relationship with a student who is also a minor. If you were having problems you should have spoken to your team leader, i.e. Leanne.’
‘ I spoke to Di!’ I couldn’t resist saying. ‘Not because I didn’t want to speak to Leanne, but Di just happened to be in the office when I went in.’
‘ And what was the result of this?’
‘ Di was sympathetic but I don't think she told Leanne. I don’t know.’
‘ Don’t you think you should have taken responsibility and found out?’
‘ I suppose so, but- I- the only performance review I got was when OFSTED were coming and they wanted me to say the right things.’
‘ Really?’ Sonia made a note. ‘So you felt you weren’t getting proper feedback about your job performance. Hm.’
‘ Yes. I felt like I didn’t get enough support.’
‘ Duly noted. However Emily, your behaviour - despite this lack of support - is, I’m afraid, despicable. You allowed yourself to fall into a relationship with Jamie, who was supposed to be under your care. You kept it secret, made no attempt to stop it, and compromised his studies and those of other students i.e. Luke Edwards. I have no doubt that Jamie and his friends drink alcohol and go to nightclubs but it is against the law for an adult to take them there. Jamie is a troubled young man from a violent background and this episode surely cannot have made him any less so.’
I felt tears in my eyes, and gulped hard. Put like that, it sounded awful. As if I had deliberately tried to hurt him.
‘ You are extremely lucky Mr Norton does not want to take this further, or that Jamie is not younger. I hope if he was younger, you would not have pursued a relationship with him! I suggest that you never work with young people again and will not give you a reference for any such job again. You have brought this college into disrepute and your reputation would follow you.’
‘ But-‘
‘ Yes? Anything inaccurate about my summary?’
I shook my head.
‘ Please leave. I will see you tomorrow.’ She looked away.
I swore so violently in my head just then. All the words Jamie used. So I led him astray, did I? What about how he led me? Tears of shame stung my eyes, I hurried to the ladies toilets and spent a few minutes in the cubicle where no one could see me crying or swearing. At least in a construction department, the ladies was a place where hardly anyone went.
I really couldn’t be bothered to go back to carpentry. Everyone would see how mortified I was and make it worse. I had done what I had to do in giving Jamie’s stuff back and seeing Sonia, so I went to the staff room. People avoided my eyes but I ignored them, cleared out the few things in my locker and just walked out. Actually more boys than usual eyed me appraisingly, but no one said anything, thank God.
I phoned Clive when I got home, there was no time like the present. I was shaking, but didn’t care anymore.
‘ Hey.’ I tried to sound sexy, ha ha. ‘It’s Emily Walker.’
‘ Oh hiya, Emily.’ He had his warm voice on. ‘Great to talk to you. How are you?’
‘ Guess what? They’ve
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