hybrid powers, I knew I wouldn't stand a chance against a truly powerful witch. And I had no doubt that once she found out I was back in the human world, Priestess Winter would come after me with everything she had.
Piotrek and Liroth worked with me in the mornings, but in the afternoons, Jackson and I were alone in the training room.
"What do you want to work on today?" he asked. "More shields?"
I sighed and shook my head. I was exhausted and frustrated. I'd been practically killing myself for a week and didn't feel like I'd really made any progress.
"What's wrong?" he walked over to me and put his arms around me.
I rested my head against his shoulder. "I suck at this," I said. "We run the same drills every day and I'm still struggling."
"You're getting better," he said. "These things take time, Harper. You can't expect to master an entirely new form of magic in a couple months. Think of it this way. It's like someone who is paralyzed for years, then suddenly regains use of their legs. It's not like they'd be able to just stand up and start running a marathon. It would take months of intense therapy for them to learn how to even walk again. Much less run. You have to give yourself more time."
I pushed away. "We don't have time," I said. "Every day we spend here in the safety of this dome, the Order is plotting against us. They're pulling more demons through their portals and recruiting more young girls to their cheerleading teams. Every day they get further and further ahead."
"And what exactly do you think we should do about it?" he asked. His jaw tensed. "We've talked about this a hundred times already. If we rush into something because we're impatient, we're going to get ourselves killed. Then who will stand against the Order?"
I kicked at the stone floor. "I wish I was improving faster, that's all," I said. "I know I'm getting better at switching from human to demon form, but the actual magic itself still feels strange to me."
"How so?" he said. "Let's talk it out."
I shrugged. "It's hard to explain. I mean, I can use both sides of my magic to create the same fire, but I still don't really understand why I would use one over the other in a fight."
"Okay, then let's try them both," he said. "One at a time. See if you can put into words how they're different. Then we'll figure out why you might use one in certain situations instead of the other."
I stared down at the floor. I was so used to magic coming easy to me. Sure, I'd worked hard, but most things only took me a few days to really master. Using demon magic was different. It scared me. Every time I started to use it, something inside me panicked, and I backed off.
I wanted to understand it, but at the same time, part of me wanted to just settle for using my normal witch magic and stay far away from the demon side of myself.
"Come on," he said. "We'll start easy."
He moved a training dummy to the middle of the room, then came to stand beside me.
"Try to set the dummy on fire using the human half of your power," he said. "Really concentrate on how it feels and where your power comes from."
I breathed deep, taking a moment to really connect to the earth beneath my feet. I raised my hands up, spreading my fingers wide as the tips erupted in flames. I drew them back and pushed forward, sending flames dancing through the air toward the dummy.
"What did that feel like?" Jackson asked.
"Safe," I said. "Controlled."
"What else?"
I thought of how Zara had taught me to focus using the image of a blue butterfly in the darkness of my mind. To clear everything else from my thoughts. "It felt grounded. Focused and calm."
Jackson nodded and waved a hand toward the training dummy. The flames disappeared and the dummy looked brand new again. "Now try using the other half of your power," he said. "The demon side."
I swallowed and shook my hands out, trying to get rid of my nerves. Accessing the demon side of my power was a lot more difficult. Most of the time in
Piotrek and Liroth worked with me in the mornings, but in the afternoons, Jackson and I were alone in the training room.
"What do you want to work on today?" he asked. "More shields?"
I sighed and shook my head. I was exhausted and frustrated. I'd been practically killing myself for a week and didn't feel like I'd really made any progress.
"What's wrong?" he walked over to me and put his arms around me.
I rested my head against his shoulder. "I suck at this," I said. "We run the same drills every day and I'm still struggling."
"You're getting better," he said. "These things take time, Harper. You can't expect to master an entirely new form of magic in a couple months. Think of it this way. It's like someone who is paralyzed for years, then suddenly regains use of their legs. It's not like they'd be able to just stand up and start running a marathon. It would take months of intense therapy for them to learn how to even walk again. Much less run. You have to give yourself more time."
I pushed away. "We don't have time," I said. "Every day we spend here in the safety of this dome, the Order is plotting against us. They're pulling more demons through their portals and recruiting more young girls to their cheerleading teams. Every day they get further and further ahead."
"And what exactly do you think we should do about it?" he asked. His jaw tensed. "We've talked about this a hundred times already. If we rush into something because we're impatient, we're going to get ourselves killed. Then who will stand against the Order?"
I kicked at the stone floor. "I wish I was improving faster, that's all," I said. "I know I'm getting better at switching from human to demon form, but the actual magic itself still feels strange to me."
"How so?" he said. "Let's talk it out."
I shrugged. "It's hard to explain. I mean, I can use both sides of my magic to create the same fire, but I still don't really understand why I would use one over the other in a fight."
"Okay, then let's try them both," he said. "One at a time. See if you can put into words how they're different. Then we'll figure out why you might use one in certain situations instead of the other."
I stared down at the floor. I was so used to magic coming easy to me. Sure, I'd worked hard, but most things only took me a few days to really master. Using demon magic was different. It scared me. Every time I started to use it, something inside me panicked, and I backed off.
I wanted to understand it, but at the same time, part of me wanted to just settle for using my normal witch magic and stay far away from the demon side of myself.
"Come on," he said. "We'll start easy."
He moved a training dummy to the middle of the room, then came to stand beside me.
"Try to set the dummy on fire using the human half of your power," he said. "Really concentrate on how it feels and where your power comes from."
I breathed deep, taking a moment to really connect to the earth beneath my feet. I raised my hands up, spreading my fingers wide as the tips erupted in flames. I drew them back and pushed forward, sending flames dancing through the air toward the dummy.
"What did that feel like?" Jackson asked.
"Safe," I said. "Controlled."
"What else?"
I thought of how Zara had taught me to focus using the image of a blue butterfly in the darkness of my mind. To clear everything else from my thoughts. "It felt grounded. Focused and calm."
Jackson nodded and waved a hand toward the training dummy. The flames disappeared and the dummy looked brand new again. "Now try using the other half of your power," he said. "The demon side."
I swallowed and shook my hands out, trying to get rid of my nerves. Accessing the demon side of my power was a lot more difficult. Most of the time in
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