Deliver Me From Evil by Mary Monroe

floor.
    I waved and ran over to Wade’s table, almost knocking a waiter to the ground. The boy with him had on a sweater that had a snowman on the front with crossed eyes and a joint sticking out of his mouth.
    â€œHi, Wade! Your mama told me you was here,” I squealed, waiting for him to invite me to join the party.
    First, he looked from me to the white boy and back. “Do I know you?” he asked me, with a shrug and an annoyed look on his face.
    I swallowed hard and blinked at him. “It’s me,” I said sharply, pointing to my face.
    â€œMe who?” Wade demanded. The white boy covered his mouth with his hand and snickered so hard, the snowman on his sweater moved in a way that made it look like he was puffing on the joint hanging off his lip.
    â€œI … I was at your house day after Thanksgiving,” I stammered, hoping I would not have to explain any more than that. “My mama had borrowed a roasting pan from your mama to cook our turkey in, and I brought some money that your mama wanted to borrow.” At this point, I leaned over the table and lowered my voice. “You, uh, showed me your room …,” I said, with a nod.
    â€œOh. That was you ?” he gasped, looking embarrassed, then amused.
    â€œThat was me,” I mumbled, my face burning with anger. Who the hell did this nigger think he was? I had heard that some boys treated girls like shit after they’d fucked them. But I never thought that it would happen to me.
    â€œWell, what do you want me to show you now?” he sneered. That motherfucker! I didn’t know if he was being for real or if he was just trying to entertain and amuse the boy across from him at the table.
    â€œI just wanted to say hi,” I said. I didn’t give him the chance to make me feel any worse. I slunk out of the restaurant and ran all the way back home, with tears streaming down the sides of my face, wondering if anybody would ever really care about me.
    I had no cigarettes or alcohol to ease my pain. And, because Miss Louise had talked me out of most of my money, I didn’t even have enough to buy any from some of the older kids I knew.
    Mama and Daddy still occupied the same spots that I’d left them in. They didn’t even look up when I stumbled across the living room floor to my room. I could not have felt more insignificant if I’d tried.

CHAPTER 16
    C hristmas was the one thing that made my family seem normal. Well, almost normal. But that wasn’t saying much.
    What was different about Christmas was the fact that Mama cooked a big meal, Daddy put up a tree, and we even exchanged gifts. Each year I gave Daddy either a pair of socks or some Old Spice aftershave, which he used as a breath freshener. I always gave Mama something practical, like a new frying pan. Me, I never knew what I was going to get from them. One year all I got was a pair of boots with a note that had both Mama’s and Daddy’s names scribbled on it.
    When I was twelve, I received two dolls, some clothes with the tags from Kmart still attached, and a Monopoly game. I hadn’t played with dolls since I was five, the clothes were three sizes too large, and I knew as much about Monopoly as I did about rocket science. But I played with the dolls, anyway, sold the clothes to a fat girl and used the money to buy some similar outfits in my size, and traded the Monopoly game for a carton of Newports and two cans of Coors Light.
    I had to kick Denise’s butt when she came to my house and tried to sneak out with half of my Newports and a pair of my new jeans in her backpack. There was quite a ruckus in my room as we rolled around on the floor, pulling each other’s hair and cussing. When Daddy knocked on the door and told us to, “turn off that damn rap music,” Denise and I laughed so hard we couldn’t fight anymore. Even though we laughed, I could tell from the look on Denise’s face that she was not