Dawn Endeavor 4: Gunnar's Game by Marie Harte

Amazon.”
    “He did?”
    “Yeah. He didn't tell me much about it until I saw him a few weeks ago. But he helped Sheridan escape and protected her from Raul. Raul was not a nice guy.” He curled his fist against his side. “I know.”
    “Oh, that's right. You broke his neck.” She said it as if she'd been talking about snapping a twig.
    “That doesn't bother you?”
    “Nope. I have a much different view of the world than most people. Where I come from, we respect the elderly, protect the innocent, and fight against injustice.
    There's not a lot of forgiveness in my family for wrongdoing.” He wondered what she'd think if she knew he'd killed his own father.
    She clutched his arm tighter. “Why are you so afraid to be with me?” Trust Ava to cut right to the heart of the matter.
    “I'm not afraid, exactly…”
    “Bullshit. You're scared of me.” She paused. “Is it because I was born Circ?” The flatness of the question made him look at her closer. To his shock, Ava seemed vulnerable. He didn't like it, so he did what he did best. He set out to annoy her into a good mad.
    “No. It's because you're black.”
    “ What ?”
    “I don't like black women. And you know, I'm not that into women, come to think of it. I'm much more into cock.”
    She blinked at him with her mouth open.
    “Nothing like taking it up the ass. Tits and pussies are for morons.”
    “You… That's… I…”

    He snorted. “Yeah, that's stupid, isn't it? As stupid as me not wanting you because you were born this way—strong, sexy, and lethal. Or because your skin is so pretty and brown, or that you have the nicest breasts and most fuckable ass I've ever seen.” Just thinking about everything Ava made him hard an aching. “And what moron prefers dick to womanly curves?” He rethought the question. “With the exception of Hayashi, gay men don't know what they're missing. Of course, that's probably because no one compares to you.”
    They continued walking in silence while they both absorbed what he'd said.
    “Do you realize that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me?” Ava's soft voice wrapped around his heart and squeezed. “Why can't we be together, Gunnar?” He couldn't look at her, because she'd see the longing in his eyes. “I…” Tell her.
    Tell her the truth. You’ve been feeling it since day one. At least let her know why there can never be an “us” in our future . “Ava, I care for you. A lot.” She stopped them and turned him to face her. The glowing green of her eyes hinted at the deep emotion she must be feeling, but her face remained blank.
    He repeated himself. “I care for you more than makes sense. I'm not an easy man.”
    “I know that.”
    “No, you don't. You think you do. You know what I can do to my enemies, but you've never seen what I can do to someone I love.” And God, if he ever damaged Ava, he'd kill himself. He'd barely survived after Susanna's and Sophie's deaths, and he felt so much more for Ava. A man's love, not a teenager's infatuation.
    “You would never hurt me.” She reached out to him, her eyes now brown and soft. And so loving.
    He stepped back. “I wouldn't try to hurt you, but I could. Too easily.” He sighed, wishing this conversation over. “Ava, I'm attracted, no doubt. But it's more than that.”

    She frowned at him. “You slept with Olivia and Sheridan. And they're a lot weaker than I am. Yet you never hurt them.”
    He flushed. “You, ah, knew about them?” Of course she knew.
    “Yes. I know you still struggle through mating heats.” She tried to play it off, but he could see the glow of anger in her eyes. “I wasn't available for you, so you turned to them. And I understand that you need the team in that way. The guys don't bother me at all. I told you I'm different from most people you know.”
    “I was only with Olivia and Sheridan in the presence of their mates,” he tried to explain. “And with them it was nice.”
    “I'm nice.”
    “No, you're