Dark Promises (Dark #29) by Christine Feehan Page A

caress of his hands on her skin. Her body reacted, coming alive, just as it had done earlier. As if it had a life and will of its own. To share her body with Aleksei would be such a betrayal of Gary.
    She closed her eyes. She had blamed everyone for this mess, but she’d chosen to be Carpathian. She bit her lip again, shaking her head. Her sister, Joie, hadn’t been Carpathian and she’d still been a lifemate to Traian. She’d been human. Gabrielle squeezed her eyes closed tighter, not wanting to face the reality of what was happening to her.
    She didn’t understand the lifemate bond. She only knew it was intense. Very intense. Very sexual. Very everything. Lifemates were always together. And the men were very domineering. The women didn’t seem to mind, in fact they usually just rolled their eyes and did what they wanted, but the male Carpathians scared her.
    Gabrielle took a breath. The life frightened her. The violence. The blood. The intensity of their lives. She was
such
a coward. She had seen vampires up close. Her entire body shuddered. They weren’t the only enemy. She touched her back, down low, where her kidneys had taken the knife slicing through them. The pain had been excruciating. And then the Lycans had come. She wanted her safe world back. The cocoon of her laboratory where she could hide away. Gary would have given that to her.
    She covered her face with her hands as realization dawned. She loved Gary with all of her heart because he would have given her exactly what she wanted. Not what she needed. What she wanted. She wanted to hide away. Be safe. Be happy. No bumps. No scares. Just a sweet, easy journey through life.
    Joie and Jubal could easily handle their mother’s intense meltdowns. Her father just shook his head and grinned. When she was young, Gabrielle hid under the bed, her fist jammed in her mouth, her heart beating hard. When she was a teenager, she learned not to say a word. She would disappear in her mind. When she was an adult she hid herself in work. She hid. Period. From everything and everyone. Including herself.
    Hiding had led her to this moment. To the possible death of two goodmen. She was a researcher, and yet she hadn’t asked any questions about life as a Carpathian. She hadn’t lifted a finger to acquire knowledge when knowledge was her world. Why? That alone should have raised a red flag for her.
    Gabrielle wrapped her arms around herself and began to rock back and forth, trying to soothe herself. Trying to think what to do. She was intelligent. Highly intelligent. She couldn’t save Gary, and that tore at her. Ate her up. Left her grief-stricken with that terrible weight of guilt pressing squarely down on her. But what about Aleksei?
    Truthfully, he terrified her. He was violent. Dangerous. Definitely domineering. He would expect her obedience. Her loyalty. Her participation in blood exchanging. In—well—
everything
. Her body did another shiver, almost of anticipation. Her mouth craved his taste. Her body craved his touch. What did that make her when she loved Gary? How could she want another man when her heart belonged to someone else?
    Nothing made sense to her anymore. She’d never talked to her mother about anything that was important to her. There was
always
drama with her mother. She knew her mother loved her children—loved them so much she wanted to run their lives. She had no problem with tantrums in public and that had always humiliated Gabrielle. Like their father, Joie and Jubal had found their mother amusing.
    She had shut down as a child. Refused to live life. Afraid. She was still metaphorically under that bed, shaking, her fist jammed in her mouth to keep from making a sound. Holding herself still. She’d locked herself in a laboratory because she would rather face a hot virus than live her life. Gary was safe. He saw how fragile she was. How afraid of life she was. She wanted a controlled