Okay?”
He lifted his hand from hers. “I wasn’t accusing you of
anything. I’m not surprised you don’t want to talk about it. I’m just happy
you’re talking to me at all.”
Guilt seared like a brand across her chest. She was more than
talking to him. She still suspected him. An overnight think on their
conversation had left Cat’s sheets knotted around her body from the constant
tossing and turning. He’d shared something so painful, so full of misplaced
responsibility, that her anger had soon abated and become something worse. Fear.
Fear that if Jay was brave enough to tell her his secrets, he would expect her
to do the same.
The thought of telling him about the current state of her mum
sent chills down her spine. She didn’t want his pity and she certainly didn’t
need him to take on the role of understanding ex-addict. Which was exactly what
he’d do. He’d want to help her mum, and Cat. She drew in a shuddering breath and
released it.
“Jay, listen to me. There are things—”
“Do not say there are things we all regret. I know you mean
well, but I’m a million miles away from platitudes and understanding. I wanted
you to know how I let Sarah down and how guilty I feel about not being able to
make it up to her. That’s it. I don’t want your sympathy.”
Cat swallowed her confession with difficulty, but managed it.
“Right.”
“The most important thing is that you know how sorry I am and
that I will never ever let anyone down like that again. Not ever. Especially
you.” Their eyes locked. “Do you understand?”
She nodded. “You’ll always be there for me. I get it.”
After a moment, his brow smoothed and he smiled. “Good, because
now we’re back together, Miss Forrester, there’s little chance of you
disappearing from my life again.”
Her heart kicked. “What do you mean back together? We’re not
back together, we’re friends who are looking—”
“If you want something to eat and drink, I know just the
place.”
Any further words dissolved helplessly on her tongue. She
silently berated herself. Coward. Turncoat. Selfish, borderline masochist. Cat
fumbled her fingers along the door panel beside her and pressed the button to
lower the window. She inhaled deeply. The air was cool against her hot face and
slowly her heart rate slowed.
She concentrated on the passing view as Jay maneuvered the car
farther along the sunlit promenade of Cowden Beach. The glorious white-gold sand
of the beach with its stacked charcoal-gray rocks sent a barrage of memories and
emotions from happier times surging to the surface. Smiling, she sat straighter
in her seat to watch the kids tossing balls and Frisbees back and forth, dogs
running and playing, and couples walking hand in hand along the shore.
Cat turned away as a rush of longing rose inside of her. A
longing for days gone by when she was oblivious to the heartbreak of her nearby
future.
“Where are we headed?”
“We need a pit stop at Marian’s.”
Cat smiled. “Ah, the famous Marian.”
He turned and winked. “The one and only.” His grin was wider
than the ocean.
“You really like this woman, huh?”
“I love this woman, and so will you. Guaranteed. She’s my
savior, the one Dad put me working with when I first came out of rehab. There
was no way I was going to stray from the straight and narrow path with Marian
watching my every move. Believe me.”
Cat snorted. “You sound almost scared of her.”
He glanced at her. “Laugh all you want. You haven’t met her
yet. Once Marian wants something from you, she pulls out one of her lattes with
a honeycomb muffin on the side...” He blew out a low whistle. “Then you’re
hers.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
J AY GLANCED AT C AT AS they walked toward the bakery.
The distance between them was tantalizingly close but no matter how strong his
urge to take her hand, he wouldn’t. He meant what he’d said in the car. He had
no intention of letting her go or letting her down now
He lifted his hand from hers. “I wasn’t accusing you of
anything. I’m not surprised you don’t want to talk about it. I’m just happy
you’re talking to me at all.”
Guilt seared like a brand across her chest. She was more than
talking to him. She still suspected him. An overnight think on their
conversation had left Cat’s sheets knotted around her body from the constant
tossing and turning. He’d shared something so painful, so full of misplaced
responsibility, that her anger had soon abated and become something worse. Fear.
Fear that if Jay was brave enough to tell her his secrets, he would expect her
to do the same.
The thought of telling him about the current state of her mum
sent chills down her spine. She didn’t want his pity and she certainly didn’t
need him to take on the role of understanding ex-addict. Which was exactly what
he’d do. He’d want to help her mum, and Cat. She drew in a shuddering breath and
released it.
“Jay, listen to me. There are things—”
“Do not say there are things we all regret. I know you mean
well, but I’m a million miles away from platitudes and understanding. I wanted
you to know how I let Sarah down and how guilty I feel about not being able to
make it up to her. That’s it. I don’t want your sympathy.”
Cat swallowed her confession with difficulty, but managed it.
“Right.”
“The most important thing is that you know how sorry I am and
that I will never ever let anyone down like that again. Not ever. Especially
you.” Their eyes locked. “Do you understand?”
She nodded. “You’ll always be there for me. I get it.”
After a moment, his brow smoothed and he smiled. “Good, because
now we’re back together, Miss Forrester, there’s little chance of you
disappearing from my life again.”
Her heart kicked. “What do you mean back together? We’re not
back together, we’re friends who are looking—”
“If you want something to eat and drink, I know just the
place.”
Any further words dissolved helplessly on her tongue. She
silently berated herself. Coward. Turncoat. Selfish, borderline masochist. Cat
fumbled her fingers along the door panel beside her and pressed the button to
lower the window. She inhaled deeply. The air was cool against her hot face and
slowly her heart rate slowed.
She concentrated on the passing view as Jay maneuvered the car
farther along the sunlit promenade of Cowden Beach. The glorious white-gold sand
of the beach with its stacked charcoal-gray rocks sent a barrage of memories and
emotions from happier times surging to the surface. Smiling, she sat straighter
in her seat to watch the kids tossing balls and Frisbees back and forth, dogs
running and playing, and couples walking hand in hand along the shore.
Cat turned away as a rush of longing rose inside of her. A
longing for days gone by when she was oblivious to the heartbreak of her nearby
future.
“Where are we headed?”
“We need a pit stop at Marian’s.”
Cat smiled. “Ah, the famous Marian.”
He turned and winked. “The one and only.” His grin was wider
than the ocean.
“You really like this woman, huh?”
“I love this woman, and so will you. Guaranteed. She’s my
savior, the one Dad put me working with when I first came out of rehab. There
was no way I was going to stray from the straight and narrow path with Marian
watching my every move. Believe me.”
Cat snorted. “You sound almost scared of her.”
He glanced at her. “Laugh all you want. You haven’t met her
yet. Once Marian wants something from you, she pulls out one of her lattes with
a honeycomb muffin on the side...” He blew out a low whistle. “Then you’re
hers.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
J AY GLANCED AT C AT AS they walked toward the bakery.
The distance between them was tantalizingly close but no matter how strong his
urge to take her hand, he wouldn’t. He meant what he’d said in the car. He had
no intention of letting her go or letting her down now
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