Immediately, she looked surprised at her own words. She looked as if she were about to apologize but apparently
changed her mind. "Here come Breeze and Madie," she said instead. "I'm going to get their curry brush."
Cree waited with the horses as Julieta disappeared into the barn and Tommy and the doctor ducked through the fence at the
far end. Tommy didn't look like a monster. In fact, he looked like a typical kid from Cree's neighborhood in Seattle: slim,
bronze skinned, a round face that made him look younger than his fifteen years, big T-shirt embossed with images of the Wu-Tang
Clan rap group, baggy jeans draped over basketball shoes. When he got closer, she saw that his buzz-cut hair had some kind
of design shaved into the bristle.
"Hey," Julieta called from the feed room door. "Hey, Tommy. Hey, Joseph. We're just feeding the critters. Tommy, there's someone
I'd like to introduce you to."
The forced lightness of her tone broke Cree's heart. Julieta had shaken the loose hay from her beautiful hair and dusted it
from her shirt, and she wore a smile that would have done Miss New Mexico proud.
Doubleness, Cree was thinking. She stood with Dr. Tsosie, watching Julieta and Tommy curry the horses, trying to put a name to the feeling
of this place, this moment, these strangers she found herself among. It was like swimming in deep water with your eyes just
at the surface, she decided, one moment getting a view of the sky and sun and boats and people, then submerging only a fraction
of an inch and seeing the blue depths and the vague shapes moving in them. Two planes of existence, hidden from one other
yet moving restlessly against each other and separated by only the thinnest membrane.
When he'd first joined them, Dr. Tsosie presented a piece of rock to Julieta, and for a moment they bent their heads together
to look at it. They argued briefly, and then Julieta broke away, laughing and shaking her head.
"It is! " he insisted. "I've brought you a valuable historical relic!"
"It's gravel," she countered. "And you know it. But thank you so much for thinking of me."
Joseph turned to Tommy. "What's your vote? Anasazi arrowhead or random chip of useless rock?"
Tommy just made a go away gesture with his hand, grinning shyly.
Joseph mimed dismay and betrayal, then smiled and tossed the rock over his shoulder. He joined Cree to watch as the others
cared for the horses.
" So—are you an equestrian fan, too?" Cree asked him.
"Me? I've always hated them," Tsosie said. "They've got the brains and temperament of chickens. For pets, I like dogs and
cats. As for vehicles, I prefer the ones with steering wheels and brakes."
"Don't go saying bad things about my kids," Julieta called. "Joseph's just down on them because he's a lousy rider and whenever
he takes them out they sense his inexperience. So they never do what he tells them. They're sweeties and he knows it."
Tommy said nothing, just rubbed the big muscles in the gelding's shoulders.
The interplay among the three of them was deeply double and deeply touching. Julieta and Joseph were obviously good friends
of long standing, and though both were very tense they were making an effort to create a simulacrum of a family for this boy.
Tommy, at least the part of him above the waves, was reluctantly appreciative, willing to play along with it as much for their
sake as his own. It was so compassionate and respectful, so fragile and artificial. A lance pierced Cree's heart.
On the individual level, each of the players was double, too. Beneath Julieta's roles as officious administrator and chipper
surrogate mom was some other act, some part of her life hidden yet running parallel to the actions and emotions she expressed
outwardly. The doctor, too.
And of course Tommy was double most of all. When he'd first been introduced to her, he'd shaken her hand, said a quiet hello, asked if she were another doctor, and
gone with Julieta to tend the
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