Chapter 1
U p and at ’em, dragon slayers!” called Frypot, the DSA school cook.
Wiglaf opened an eye. It wasn’t light out yet. He closed it again. Maybe he was dreaming.
“Up, I say! It’s a beautiful day at DSA!” Frypot banged a pot lid with his soup ladle. CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
Wiglaf jumped up. All the Class I lads did. They knew Frypot would keep banging until they were on their feet.
“What’s for breakfast, Frypot?” called Angus.
“Eggs and bacon, lads,” said Frypot. “All you can eat.”
Eggs and bacon? Wiglaf couldn’t believe it. Frypot never fed them anything but scrambled eel.
“Eel eggs, Frypot?” called Erica, who was a princess but disguised herself as a boy so she could go to all-boys DSA. Wiglaf and Angus were the only lads who knew her secret.
“Nah,” said Frypot. “They’re the real thing. Found ’em in the cupboard this morning.”
“Hooray!” cheered Class I.
“I’m going to be first in line!” Angus yanked on his DSA tunic.
“I’ll be second,” said Erica, racing for the door. “Hurry up, Wiggie. Let’s go!”
Wiglaf dressed quickly. The three friends headed for the cafeteria with throngs of other DSA students.
As they ran by the headmaster’s office, Mordred stuck his head out.
“Egad! A stampede!” he cried.
Mordred spied Angus. “Not so fast, nephew!” he called. “I need a word with you.”
“Uncle ... no!” Angus panted, already short of breath. “Got to get...to the caf...eteria!”
“Now!” Mordred grabbed him. “Eric and Wiglaf, you come, too. This is a three-lad job.”
Wiglaf sighed. Mordred’s jobs always had a way of turning out badly—for Wiglaf. The DSA headmaster picked on Wiglaf more than any other student. Was it because he was small for his age? Because he had carrot-colored hair? By rights, Mordred should like him best of all, for Wiglaf had slain two dragons—one named Gorzil and then Gorzil’s mother, who had come to seek revenge. True, Wiglaf had killed them both by accident. He would never kill any creature on purpose. In fact, he and Angus had “adopted” a baby dragon. They called him Worm and kept him hidden in the library, safe from the headmaster.
“Oh, Mordred, sir!” Erica cried. “Can we not come see you after breakfast?”
“Pretty please, with a great big pile of gold coins on top?” begged Angus.
“Missing breakfast won’t kill you,” Mordred boomed as he herded the three students into his office. “Here, look at the latest issue of Greed” He waved a scroll in their faces, then rolled it down so the three could read for themselves.
SPECIAL OFFER-THIS WEEK ONLY!
Hermit Harry’s Jiffy-Gold ™ Alchemy Kit GUARANTEED to turn worthless household items into solid GOLD household items worth a bloody fortune!
Pick up your FREE Jiffy-Gold™ today! Take it home and try Jiffy-Gold ™ for a week. If not completely satisfied, return the Jiffy- Gold™ no payment due, no questions asked. “Hermit Harry—he may stink, but his prices don’t!”
Just follow your nose to Hermit Harry’s Hur—Dark Forest, south of Nowhere Swamp.
Wiglaf and his pet pig, Daisy, had hiked through Nowhere Swamp on their way to DSA. It was there, in Wizard’s Bog, that they’d met Zelnoc, a mixed-up wizard. He’d put a speech spell on Daisy. Now she could talk—but only in pig Latin.
“I want that kit today!” Mordred boomed. “Why, in a week, I can Jiffy-Gold the whole castle. Then I’ll return the kit and I won’t have to pay a penny. Oh, it’s too good to pass up.”
“Mother always says if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is,” said Angus.
“What does she know?” grumbled Mordred. “Off with you to Hermit Harry’s. Be gone! Get me that Jiffy-Gold!”
“Nowhere Swamp is a day’s walk from here, sir,” Wiglaf pointed out. “We shall have to spend the night in the scary Dark Forest.”
“So?” said Mordred. “Get going!”
“So?” said Mordred. “Get
U p and at ’em, dragon slayers!” called Frypot, the DSA school cook.
Wiglaf opened an eye. It wasn’t light out yet. He closed it again. Maybe he was dreaming.
“Up, I say! It’s a beautiful day at DSA!” Frypot banged a pot lid with his soup ladle. CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
Wiglaf jumped up. All the Class I lads did. They knew Frypot would keep banging until they were on their feet.
“What’s for breakfast, Frypot?” called Angus.
“Eggs and bacon, lads,” said Frypot. “All you can eat.”
Eggs and bacon? Wiglaf couldn’t believe it. Frypot never fed them anything but scrambled eel.
“Eel eggs, Frypot?” called Erica, who was a princess but disguised herself as a boy so she could go to all-boys DSA. Wiglaf and Angus were the only lads who knew her secret.
“Nah,” said Frypot. “They’re the real thing. Found ’em in the cupboard this morning.”
“Hooray!” cheered Class I.
“I’m going to be first in line!” Angus yanked on his DSA tunic.
“I’ll be second,” said Erica, racing for the door. “Hurry up, Wiggie. Let’s go!”
Wiglaf dressed quickly. The three friends headed for the cafeteria with throngs of other DSA students.
As they ran by the headmaster’s office, Mordred stuck his head out.
“Egad! A stampede!” he cried.
Mordred spied Angus. “Not so fast, nephew!” he called. “I need a word with you.”
“Uncle ... no!” Angus panted, already short of breath. “Got to get...to the caf...eteria!”
“Now!” Mordred grabbed him. “Eric and Wiglaf, you come, too. This is a three-lad job.”
Wiglaf sighed. Mordred’s jobs always had a way of turning out badly—for Wiglaf. The DSA headmaster picked on Wiglaf more than any other student. Was it because he was small for his age? Because he had carrot-colored hair? By rights, Mordred should like him best of all, for Wiglaf had slain two dragons—one named Gorzil and then Gorzil’s mother, who had come to seek revenge. True, Wiglaf had killed them both by accident. He would never kill any creature on purpose. In fact, he and Angus had “adopted” a baby dragon. They called him Worm and kept him hidden in the library, safe from the headmaster.
“Oh, Mordred, sir!” Erica cried. “Can we not come see you after breakfast?”
“Pretty please, with a great big pile of gold coins on top?” begged Angus.
“Missing breakfast won’t kill you,” Mordred boomed as he herded the three students into his office. “Here, look at the latest issue of Greed” He waved a scroll in their faces, then rolled it down so the three could read for themselves.
SPECIAL OFFER-THIS WEEK ONLY!
Hermit Harry’s Jiffy-Gold ™ Alchemy Kit GUARANTEED to turn worthless household items into solid GOLD household items worth a bloody fortune!
Pick up your FREE Jiffy-Gold™ today! Take it home and try Jiffy-Gold ™ for a week. If not completely satisfied, return the Jiffy- Gold™ no payment due, no questions asked. “Hermit Harry—he may stink, but his prices don’t!”
Just follow your nose to Hermit Harry’s Hur—Dark Forest, south of Nowhere Swamp.
Wiglaf and his pet pig, Daisy, had hiked through Nowhere Swamp on their way to DSA. It was there, in Wizard’s Bog, that they’d met Zelnoc, a mixed-up wizard. He’d put a speech spell on Daisy. Now she could talk—but only in pig Latin.
“I want that kit today!” Mordred boomed. “Why, in a week, I can Jiffy-Gold the whole castle. Then I’ll return the kit and I won’t have to pay a penny. Oh, it’s too good to pass up.”
“Mother always says if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is,” said Angus.
“What does she know?” grumbled Mordred. “Off with you to Hermit Harry’s. Be gone! Get me that Jiffy-Gold!”
“Nowhere Swamp is a day’s walk from here, sir,” Wiglaf pointed out. “We shall have to spend the night in the scary Dark Forest.”
“So?” said Mordred. “Get going!”
“So?” said Mordred. “Get
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