deep breath. “You want to know what I really hate about my job?”
My heart beat faster, though I couldn"t say exactly why, and I licked my dry
lips before I said, “Sure, yeah.”
He looked out at the water again. “In some people"s eyes, I may as well be a
registered sex offender of the most dangerous kind. If friends and family found out
what I am, they"d probably move heaven and earth to keep me away from their
kids.”
Guilt gnawed at me. Before tonight, my first reaction would have been to get
and stay between him and my kids. But before tonight, as much as it made me feel
like a horrible person to admit it to myself, I"d never thought of a prostitute as being
so…human.
He went on. “My biggest fear is someone accusing me of…” He trailed off,
letting the shudder finish the thought. “God, I"d never hurt a kid—I"d never hurt
anyone—but people have their beliefs, and they want to protect their kids.” He
sighed. “So I just make sure I"m never alone with my nieces and nephews or anyone
else"s kids. Not even for a few minutes.”
“That"s so sad that you have to do that.”
He nodded, looking at the pavement instead of me. “Not much choice, I"m
afraid. It"s stupid, really. I get paid to have sex with adult women. How that
translates into wanting to mess with kids is beyond me.” He shuddered again. “But
several of the guys I work with have told me very emphatically that accusations like
that can and do happen.”
I exhaled. “Wow. I mean, I understand being protective of your kids, but…”
Sabian nodded. “Yeah, exactly.”
“Do you want kids of your own?”
“Eventually.” Then, with a hefty and unexpected helping of bitterness, he
added through gritted teeth, “Assuming I can ever find a woman who"s willing to
have them with someone like me.”
I blinked. “Oh?”
He grimaced and made an apologetic gesture. “I"m sorry, that was
unprofessional. I—”
“It"s okay.” I smiled and put a hand over his on the railing. “This isn"t an
employee evaluation.” He met my eyes, and we shared a quiet laugh. Then I said, “I
never really thought about how a job like this would affect the rest of your life.”
54
Lauren Gallagher
“It does, believe me.”
“So how does it affect relationships?” I asked. “I mean, do you date much since
you started working for the agency?”
“A little. Relationships don"t last long in this business.”
“I sometimes wonder if they last long at all,” I muttered. “I haven"t had one
last longer than six months since my divorce.”
“Neither have I.”
“You"re divorced?”
He nodded.
“Sorry to hear it.”
“Such is life,” he said.
Neither of us spoke for a moment.
“So what happened?” I asked at last. How personal will you let me get?
He was quiet for a few long heartbeats. Then, “We were too immature, and we
didn"t know how to be married. We both screwed up enough times there was no
point in trying to keep it alive.”
“Screwed up? In what way?”
“Lying to each other, which was usually lying by omission. Not cheating or
anything, just not talking to each other about things that were bothering us.” He
took a long, deep breath, and his eyes focused on something in the distance. “Then
we stopped talking at all and finally called it quits.” He looked at me. “What about
you?”
“Hmm?”
“Your marriage? What happened?” He paused. “If it"s not too personal.”
“Not at all,” I said. “You showed me yours. I can show you mine.” We both
laughed halfheartedly again. As my laughter faded, I said, “We just neglected ours.
We were both juggling graduate school while our son was really young. Spent a lot
of time and energy stressing about money, the baby, that sort of thing. Then we
both graduated, got good jobs, didn"t have to worry about money as much anymore,
and our son was old enough he didn"t require the same constant attention.” I looked
out at the
My heart beat faster, though I couldn"t say exactly why, and I licked my dry
lips before I said, “Sure, yeah.”
He looked out at the water again. “In some people"s eyes, I may as well be a
registered sex offender of the most dangerous kind. If friends and family found out
what I am, they"d probably move heaven and earth to keep me away from their
kids.”
Guilt gnawed at me. Before tonight, my first reaction would have been to get
and stay between him and my kids. But before tonight, as much as it made me feel
like a horrible person to admit it to myself, I"d never thought of a prostitute as being
so…human.
He went on. “My biggest fear is someone accusing me of…” He trailed off,
letting the shudder finish the thought. “God, I"d never hurt a kid—I"d never hurt
anyone—but people have their beliefs, and they want to protect their kids.” He
sighed. “So I just make sure I"m never alone with my nieces and nephews or anyone
else"s kids. Not even for a few minutes.”
“That"s so sad that you have to do that.”
He nodded, looking at the pavement instead of me. “Not much choice, I"m
afraid. It"s stupid, really. I get paid to have sex with adult women. How that
translates into wanting to mess with kids is beyond me.” He shuddered again. “But
several of the guys I work with have told me very emphatically that accusations like
that can and do happen.”
I exhaled. “Wow. I mean, I understand being protective of your kids, but…”
Sabian nodded. “Yeah, exactly.”
“Do you want kids of your own?”
“Eventually.” Then, with a hefty and unexpected helping of bitterness, he
added through gritted teeth, “Assuming I can ever find a woman who"s willing to
have them with someone like me.”
I blinked. “Oh?”
He grimaced and made an apologetic gesture. “I"m sorry, that was
unprofessional. I—”
“It"s okay.” I smiled and put a hand over his on the railing. “This isn"t an
employee evaluation.” He met my eyes, and we shared a quiet laugh. Then I said, “I
never really thought about how a job like this would affect the rest of your life.”
54
Lauren Gallagher
“It does, believe me.”
“So how does it affect relationships?” I asked. “I mean, do you date much since
you started working for the agency?”
“A little. Relationships don"t last long in this business.”
“I sometimes wonder if they last long at all,” I muttered. “I haven"t had one
last longer than six months since my divorce.”
“Neither have I.”
“You"re divorced?”
He nodded.
“Sorry to hear it.”
“Such is life,” he said.
Neither of us spoke for a moment.
“So what happened?” I asked at last. How personal will you let me get?
He was quiet for a few long heartbeats. Then, “We were too immature, and we
didn"t know how to be married. We both screwed up enough times there was no
point in trying to keep it alive.”
“Screwed up? In what way?”
“Lying to each other, which was usually lying by omission. Not cheating or
anything, just not talking to each other about things that were bothering us.” He
took a long, deep breath, and his eyes focused on something in the distance. “Then
we stopped talking at all and finally called it quits.” He looked at me. “What about
you?”
“Hmm?”
“Your marriage? What happened?” He paused. “If it"s not too personal.”
“Not at all,” I said. “You showed me yours. I can show you mine.” We both
laughed halfheartedly again. As my laughter faded, I said, “We just neglected ours.
We were both juggling graduate school while our son was really young. Spent a lot
of time and energy stressing about money, the baby, that sort of thing. Then we
both graduated, got good jobs, didn"t have to worry about money as much anymore,
and our son was old enough he didn"t require the same constant attention.” I looked
out at the
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