night was the test. Too often, Gideon failed the test.
Crying, and resisting, So Daddy Love had no choice but to use
brute force.
(Which was exciting to Daddy Love, in fact. For Daddy Love was contemptuous of weak, puling, unresisting boys.)
(Still, Daddy Love could not allow rebellious behavior in any son of his, and the son so
young
.)
After Daddy Love disciplined the boy in his bed, careful to place a bath towel on the bottom sheet beforehand, and a sponge-gag in the boy’s mouth, and wiping away, afterward, blood from the boy’s skinny haunches, it was necessary to force the boy into the Wooden Maiden for an undetermined period of time.
You will learn, son. Disobeying Daddy Love leads to one thing only.
And if you persevere, you will pay with your life.
Comprenez?
Through the summer, through the months of the boy’s
trial
, it was not always clear how Daddy Love felt.
Sometimes, Daddy Love was crazy about the boy.
His eyes just feasted on the boy.
He felt that stirring—the sex-stirring, unmistakable.
Recalling how by the bunny enclosure in the mall the beautiful little curly-black-haired boy had glanced up at Daddy Love and with the slyest of smiles poked his pink little tongue between his lips …And the look that passed between them, the mother oblivious, a look of utter secrecy, a scorching look—
I don’t want to be with her, I want to be with you. Take me with you!
But other times, Daddy Love wasn’t so sure. The boy was so quiet, you’d be inclined to think that he was simple-minded, but Daddy Love knew this wasn’t the case, it was a pretense.
He’d seen Gideon stealthily looking through things Daddy Love had brought into the house—local newspapers, the Trenton
Times
, a magazine called
New Jersey Sportsman.
(Could Gideon read? He didn’t seem capable of reading but he did stare at columns of print and sometimes his lips moved, silently.)
(It would be Chet Cash’s claim that his son was
mentally disabled
and so would not be starting school for a while, if ever.No one had ever challenged Chet’s prior claims, for Nostradamus, Deuteronomy, or Prince-of-Peace, each of whom had been
mentally disabled.
)
Hey, son: c’mere.
Upsie-daisy! C’mere.
They would watch
Friday Night Raw: Wide World of Wrestling.
They would share a cheese-and-pepperoni pizza, a big bottle of Diet Coke, a container of blackberry-ripple Turkey Farm ice cream.
Gideon was shy and wary when Daddy Love summoned him, after Daddy Love had disciplined him. But then, when Daddy Love was sincerely loving, the boy responded with relief and gratitude like a dog that has been kicked but is now petted and loved.
The boy responded by eating slices of pizza held in Daddy Love’s hand. Hungrily eating, choking and coughing, but eating in a way to please Daddy Love.
Food is love, son. Who loves you, feeds you.
Who feeds you, loves you.
Comprenez?
With the passage of time, Daddy Love boldly experimented with taking the boy into the
outside world.
Little Gideon didn’t resemble his old, Ypsilanti self much. Daddy Love didn’t think so. The influence of Daddy Love was such, the boy had grown to resemble
him
.
And there was the dirty-blond hair.
And a new look in the boy’s eyes—no longer
young
.
This eerie sensation Daddy Love felt, like injecting crystal meth into a vein, when he drove the boy into Kittatinny Falls,or down to Lambertville, New Hope—walking hand in hand with Gideon into the Safeway, or the drugstore, or the hardware store, or the lumberyard—walking with his little boy like any father, with the quiet pride of a father.
See? I’m a normal guy. This is my little guy.
And sometimes—(the sensation of risk and elation was almost unbearable)—Daddy Love would strike up a casual conversation with another father in the company of a son, for instance at a Little League softball game. Is one of them your son?—so Daddy Love might ask.
The young father would point out his son. The scrawniest
Crying, and resisting, So Daddy Love had no choice but to use
brute force.
(Which was exciting to Daddy Love, in fact. For Daddy Love was contemptuous of weak, puling, unresisting boys.)
(Still, Daddy Love could not allow rebellious behavior in any son of his, and the son so
young
.)
After Daddy Love disciplined the boy in his bed, careful to place a bath towel on the bottom sheet beforehand, and a sponge-gag in the boy’s mouth, and wiping away, afterward, blood from the boy’s skinny haunches, it was necessary to force the boy into the Wooden Maiden for an undetermined period of time.
You will learn, son. Disobeying Daddy Love leads to one thing only.
And if you persevere, you will pay with your life.
Comprenez?
Through the summer, through the months of the boy’s
trial
, it was not always clear how Daddy Love felt.
Sometimes, Daddy Love was crazy about the boy.
His eyes just feasted on the boy.
He felt that stirring—the sex-stirring, unmistakable.
Recalling how by the bunny enclosure in the mall the beautiful little curly-black-haired boy had glanced up at Daddy Love and with the slyest of smiles poked his pink little tongue between his lips …And the look that passed between them, the mother oblivious, a look of utter secrecy, a scorching look—
I don’t want to be with her, I want to be with you. Take me with you!
But other times, Daddy Love wasn’t so sure. The boy was so quiet, you’d be inclined to think that he was simple-minded, but Daddy Love knew this wasn’t the case, it was a pretense.
He’d seen Gideon stealthily looking through things Daddy Love had brought into the house—local newspapers, the Trenton
Times
, a magazine called
New Jersey Sportsman.
(Could Gideon read? He didn’t seem capable of reading but he did stare at columns of print and sometimes his lips moved, silently.)
(It would be Chet Cash’s claim that his son was
mentally disabled
and so would not be starting school for a while, if ever.No one had ever challenged Chet’s prior claims, for Nostradamus, Deuteronomy, or Prince-of-Peace, each of whom had been
mentally disabled.
)
Hey, son: c’mere.
Upsie-daisy! C’mere.
They would watch
Friday Night Raw: Wide World of Wrestling.
They would share a cheese-and-pepperoni pizza, a big bottle of Diet Coke, a container of blackberry-ripple Turkey Farm ice cream.
Gideon was shy and wary when Daddy Love summoned him, after Daddy Love had disciplined him. But then, when Daddy Love was sincerely loving, the boy responded with relief and gratitude like a dog that has been kicked but is now petted and loved.
The boy responded by eating slices of pizza held in Daddy Love’s hand. Hungrily eating, choking and coughing, but eating in a way to please Daddy Love.
Food is love, son. Who loves you, feeds you.
Who feeds you, loves you.
Comprenez?
With the passage of time, Daddy Love boldly experimented with taking the boy into the
outside world.
Little Gideon didn’t resemble his old, Ypsilanti self much. Daddy Love didn’t think so. The influence of Daddy Love was such, the boy had grown to resemble
him
.
And there was the dirty-blond hair.
And a new look in the boy’s eyes—no longer
young
.
This eerie sensation Daddy Love felt, like injecting crystal meth into a vein, when he drove the boy into Kittatinny Falls,or down to Lambertville, New Hope—walking hand in hand with Gideon into the Safeway, or the drugstore, or the hardware store, or the lumberyard—walking with his little boy like any father, with the quiet pride of a father.
See? I’m a normal guy. This is my little guy.
And sometimes—(the sensation of risk and elation was almost unbearable)—Daddy Love would strike up a casual conversation with another father in the company of a son, for instance at a Little League softball game. Is one of them your son?—so Daddy Love might ask.
The young father would point out his son. The scrawniest
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