the floor. I didn’t remember the act of sitting on the floor. I didn’t remember the moment that my legs turned to rubber and I folded into a pathetic mess against one of the kitchen counters. I did remember the ringing in my ears like the sirens on an emergency vehicle. Probably the same kind of vehicle that picked my sister’s broken body off the road or took her from her mangled vehicle.
Suddenly Sonia was by my side. Had she heard me fall? Had I said something? I didn’t recall. All I knew for sure was that she was here now, her arm around me, asking me over and over again “what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong Moneka?”
“Miss? Miss can you hear me?”
“Moneka? What’s going on? Who is that on the phone?”
“Miss? Are you ok? Is there someone that can speak with us on your behalf?”
The voices seemed to cascade down on top of me from some faraway place. I felt their constant utterances crushing me.
“Stop it!” I snapped. Slowly coming to my senses, I covered the phone receiver and said “Sonia, just back off. Please. I need some air.”
“Ok.” She looked hurt, but I didn’t have time to feel bad about it. She would understand soon. For now, I needed some time. Sonia moved back to the specials list. “I’ll just take these outside and give them to your mother. We’ll get started on the board.”
My mother. Oh God, my mother! I imagined all the conversations I was about to have. The muffled sound of a woman’s voice on the other end reminded me that one conversation wasn’t finished yet.
“I’m sorry.” I lifted the phone to my ear. “I’m sorry. I’m just…it’s just a shock.”
“I know Ms. Hart. I’m very sorry to be delivering this news today. As I mentioned before, she’s in critical condition. The doctors are with her now...”
“Any idea what is prognosis is?” I interrupted. I didn’t care.
“I’m afraid it’s too soon to tell right now. I urge you to come down and the doctors will be able to speak with you directly.”
“Well what happened? Was she hit by another car? Who hit her?”
“Again, I’m afraid I don’t have that information for you. Please come down. The doctors will be able to answer all of your questions.”
I doubted it. But I thanked her and said I would be there as soon as possible. I pressed the red button that hung up my phone. It was an easy task, but took all of my concentration nonetheless. Pressing that button filled me with a strangely inappropriate sense of satisfaction. I’d accomplished something at a time when I thought I would never be capable of anything ever again. I’d hung up the phone. Hooray.
There was another, far more mammoth task that I needed to set my sights on now. I knew the second I did it, things would start moving very fast. I would tell my Mom and everything would kick into motion. It was an emergency after all. Why was I moving so slowly?
I got up and headed toward the kitchen door. On the other side, life was happening. Mom was making flirty eyes at Francis while she straightened some table clothes. Sonia was writing the specials above the bar in her best script. Francis was holding the ladder, keeping Sonia from falling on her face. That would be bad. That would be an accident. Sonia would have to go to the hospital if that happened. That’s what you do when you have an accident.
“Mom?” My voice was small. “Mom!” I tried again. This time at an alarming volume. Mom, Francis, and Sonia all stared at me.
“What’s up sweetie?” Mom stopped what she was doing and moved toward me. “Is someone on the phone?” I glanced down and noticed that I was still gripping the cell phone, my knuckles white with tension.
“No. Well. No. Look, Mass General called. Kaila was in a car accident. She’s in critical condition.”
My mom sat slowly in the nearest chair. Her face looked familiar. Playing across it was everything I’d been feeling in the past few minutes. Sonia carefully
Suddenly Sonia was by my side. Had she heard me fall? Had I said something? I didn’t recall. All I knew for sure was that she was here now, her arm around me, asking me over and over again “what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong Moneka?”
“Miss? Miss can you hear me?”
“Moneka? What’s going on? Who is that on the phone?”
“Miss? Are you ok? Is there someone that can speak with us on your behalf?”
The voices seemed to cascade down on top of me from some faraway place. I felt their constant utterances crushing me.
“Stop it!” I snapped. Slowly coming to my senses, I covered the phone receiver and said “Sonia, just back off. Please. I need some air.”
“Ok.” She looked hurt, but I didn’t have time to feel bad about it. She would understand soon. For now, I needed some time. Sonia moved back to the specials list. “I’ll just take these outside and give them to your mother. We’ll get started on the board.”
My mother. Oh God, my mother! I imagined all the conversations I was about to have. The muffled sound of a woman’s voice on the other end reminded me that one conversation wasn’t finished yet.
“I’m sorry.” I lifted the phone to my ear. “I’m sorry. I’m just…it’s just a shock.”
“I know Ms. Hart. I’m very sorry to be delivering this news today. As I mentioned before, she’s in critical condition. The doctors are with her now...”
“Any idea what is prognosis is?” I interrupted. I didn’t care.
“I’m afraid it’s too soon to tell right now. I urge you to come down and the doctors will be able to speak with you directly.”
“Well what happened? Was she hit by another car? Who hit her?”
“Again, I’m afraid I don’t have that information for you. Please come down. The doctors will be able to answer all of your questions.”
I doubted it. But I thanked her and said I would be there as soon as possible. I pressed the red button that hung up my phone. It was an easy task, but took all of my concentration nonetheless. Pressing that button filled me with a strangely inappropriate sense of satisfaction. I’d accomplished something at a time when I thought I would never be capable of anything ever again. I’d hung up the phone. Hooray.
There was another, far more mammoth task that I needed to set my sights on now. I knew the second I did it, things would start moving very fast. I would tell my Mom and everything would kick into motion. It was an emergency after all. Why was I moving so slowly?
I got up and headed toward the kitchen door. On the other side, life was happening. Mom was making flirty eyes at Francis while she straightened some table clothes. Sonia was writing the specials above the bar in her best script. Francis was holding the ladder, keeping Sonia from falling on her face. That would be bad. That would be an accident. Sonia would have to go to the hospital if that happened. That’s what you do when you have an accident.
“Mom?” My voice was small. “Mom!” I tried again. This time at an alarming volume. Mom, Francis, and Sonia all stared at me.
“What’s up sweetie?” Mom stopped what she was doing and moved toward me. “Is someone on the phone?” I glanced down and noticed that I was still gripping the cell phone, my knuckles white with tension.
“No. Well. No. Look, Mass General called. Kaila was in a car accident. She’s in critical condition.”
My mom sat slowly in the nearest chair. Her face looked familiar. Playing across it was everything I’d been feeling in the past few minutes. Sonia carefully
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