hundred thousand dollars. Upon the last page, it is written:
Beneficiary: Drew Varney
Relationship:
Chapter 12
Colton
The drive from Carly Jo’s house to home is a blur. I feel like I’m on auto pilot maneuverin’ through the curvy roads. When I get home, I walk over to Momma’s to check on Heidi Jo. She is sleepin’ peacefully, so I tuck her in tight, kissin’ her on the forehead. My little girl means the whole damn world to me. I could never imagine losing Heidi Jo. But knowing that I have an angel in heaven truly crushes my heart into thousands of tiny shards. And the knife twistin’ in my heart, is knowin’ that I’m the reason for all of this.
Everything would be different now if I weren’t such a dick then. I’d give everything for Heidi Jo, so I certainly don’t regret what I had with her Momma. She is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. I just wish Carly Jo could have given me a child to share as well. Maybe one day? Ah who the hell am I kiddin’?
I don’t even remember walkin’ from Momma’s house to mine, but I’m here, all alone and the silence is deafenin’. Every voice I hear, is Carly Jo’s, her cries echoin’ through my mind, like a broken record. I turn the TV on, turnin’ the volume up, to drown out the sounds that are only present in my memory. No matter how hard I try to push out the pain, it’s still there, hauntin’ me. The anguish on her face as she pounded her fists into my chest was a look I will never forget, no matter how hard I try.
I just want to hit the bottle again, and drown all of my sorrows in Jack, my long lost friend. Drink Carly Jo off my mind, just to numb the pain. But gettin’ shit faced is only a temporary cure to the heartache. Shit! I thought these last seven years were livin’ hell, but right now I am burning in the fiery inferno; flames gnawin’ at my soul, eatin’ me alive from the inside out. What the hell did I do?
Pinchin’ the bridge of my nose, I suck back the tears that are threatenin’ to escape. I’ve cried enough tonight, regardless of how bad my heart shreds at the pain. I tore my family apart, and didn’t even know it. Everything that could have been, is forever lost.
My body is restless, my nerves twitch and throb. I begin to pace the floor, tryin’ to concentrate on what I can do to fix this shit. The memory of tonight floods my mind, and the tears escape. Damn this all feels like a friggin’ dream. Hell, I wish it was. I don’t know how to move on, where to go, or what to do.
I click the TV off, and turn on the iPod. Christina Aquilera and Blake Shelton’s duet of Just a Fool bellows through the speaker, and I just laugh at myself, and the foolish mistake I made. There is no turnin’ back. All I can do now is accept my mistakes and try to mend what I broke, if Carly Jo will even let me.
Sittin’ down in my leather recliner, I lay the chair back, crossin’ my arms behind my head, and let my thoughts consume me, as the music continues to play. Rascall Flatts Come Wake Me Up is playin’ now, and I wish to God Carly Jo would wake me from this horrendous nightmare. Before I know it, I’m startled by the screechin’ sound of the alarm on the iPod.
When I get to work, I do everything I can to dodge the wrath of Carly Jo. Usually, I’m back and forth between my office and underground. But right now, I can’t bear to see her face. So I hide out beneath the surface of the earth, and find peace in the rumblin’ motors of the miner, pinner and scoops that operate around me, thankful for the distraction of my thoughts.
By day three, when she didn’t show up for the weekly Supervisors meetin’, I know I may have dodged her wrath for now, but that’s only because she’s broken. Once she repairs her wounds enough to take flight again, my ass is grass.
I ask Shelly where Carly Jo has been, and she tells me that she won’t be in for the week, because she is sick. Yeah, sick with a damn
Beneficiary: Drew Varney
Relationship:
Chapter 12
Colton
The drive from Carly Jo’s house to home is a blur. I feel like I’m on auto pilot maneuverin’ through the curvy roads. When I get home, I walk over to Momma’s to check on Heidi Jo. She is sleepin’ peacefully, so I tuck her in tight, kissin’ her on the forehead. My little girl means the whole damn world to me. I could never imagine losing Heidi Jo. But knowing that I have an angel in heaven truly crushes my heart into thousands of tiny shards. And the knife twistin’ in my heart, is knowin’ that I’m the reason for all of this.
Everything would be different now if I weren’t such a dick then. I’d give everything for Heidi Jo, so I certainly don’t regret what I had with her Momma. She is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. I just wish Carly Jo could have given me a child to share as well. Maybe one day? Ah who the hell am I kiddin’?
I don’t even remember walkin’ from Momma’s house to mine, but I’m here, all alone and the silence is deafenin’. Every voice I hear, is Carly Jo’s, her cries echoin’ through my mind, like a broken record. I turn the TV on, turnin’ the volume up, to drown out the sounds that are only present in my memory. No matter how hard I try to push out the pain, it’s still there, hauntin’ me. The anguish on her face as she pounded her fists into my chest was a look I will never forget, no matter how hard I try.
I just want to hit the bottle again, and drown all of my sorrows in Jack, my long lost friend. Drink Carly Jo off my mind, just to numb the pain. But gettin’ shit faced is only a temporary cure to the heartache. Shit! I thought these last seven years were livin’ hell, but right now I am burning in the fiery inferno; flames gnawin’ at my soul, eatin’ me alive from the inside out. What the hell did I do?
Pinchin’ the bridge of my nose, I suck back the tears that are threatenin’ to escape. I’ve cried enough tonight, regardless of how bad my heart shreds at the pain. I tore my family apart, and didn’t even know it. Everything that could have been, is forever lost.
My body is restless, my nerves twitch and throb. I begin to pace the floor, tryin’ to concentrate on what I can do to fix this shit. The memory of tonight floods my mind, and the tears escape. Damn this all feels like a friggin’ dream. Hell, I wish it was. I don’t know how to move on, where to go, or what to do.
I click the TV off, and turn on the iPod. Christina Aquilera and Blake Shelton’s duet of Just a Fool bellows through the speaker, and I just laugh at myself, and the foolish mistake I made. There is no turnin’ back. All I can do now is accept my mistakes and try to mend what I broke, if Carly Jo will even let me.
Sittin’ down in my leather recliner, I lay the chair back, crossin’ my arms behind my head, and let my thoughts consume me, as the music continues to play. Rascall Flatts Come Wake Me Up is playin’ now, and I wish to God Carly Jo would wake me from this horrendous nightmare. Before I know it, I’m startled by the screechin’ sound of the alarm on the iPod.
When I get to work, I do everything I can to dodge the wrath of Carly Jo. Usually, I’m back and forth between my office and underground. But right now, I can’t bear to see her face. So I hide out beneath the surface of the earth, and find peace in the rumblin’ motors of the miner, pinner and scoops that operate around me, thankful for the distraction of my thoughts.
By day three, when she didn’t show up for the weekly Supervisors meetin’, I know I may have dodged her wrath for now, but that’s only because she’s broken. Once she repairs her wounds enough to take flight again, my ass is grass.
I ask Shelly where Carly Jo has been, and she tells me that she won’t be in for the week, because she is sick. Yeah, sick with a damn
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