about this supposedly blessed event. I am so scared. How can I tell her how scared I am? “No I haven’t told anyone else. I really don’t see my friends too often anymore.”
My mother presented a happy disposition, but deep down I could tell that she was sad at the same time. It was really a kind of odd expression. “Well, sweetie, I want you to relax and get lots of rest. Try and be happy. Think of the joy you’ll experience in the years to come. This baby will be a fourth generation Martinez. She or he will have the best of everything. I’ll make sure of that…” she paused for a moment and contemplated her next words. She began talking again, “Sweetie, you’re young and I know that you must be feeling overwhelmed. As the baby grows inside of you and you begin to feel it move around and when the doctor lets you hear its heartbeat for the first time, you will feel completely overjoyed and special. You’ll have an instant bond with that baby, way before its born. I can’t explain how you’ll feel, but the happiness will come from deep within your soul.”
“ I am happy, mom. Really I am.” I said trying to bring a smile to my face.
“ Liar,” she retorted with a smile. “I know you, honey. Tell me what’s really going on here.”
“ Nothing, mom,” I answered coyly, “It’s just such a big change and I guess I’m a little nervous. That’s all. The doctor seems to think that I might have complications due to something that he noticed. I think the word he used was hematoma. I can’t quite remember, but regardless, he thinks I’m on the high-risk side. He feels that I may have problems with bruising.”
“ A hematoma? And bruising?” she asked. Concern immediately sprang into my mother’s facial expression. “Honey, a hematoma is caused by internal bleeding. I don’t understand you’ve never had a problem with bleeding before. Have you injured yourself that you’d be bleeding or bruising? Let me take a good look at you.” She stood up and quickly removed my blanket before I had a chance to stop her. She immediately gasped and covered her mouth in shock at what she saw.
I grabbed the blanket back from her and quickly covered up. No one has ever seen my legs…no one. Of all the people to see, it would have to be my mother. The thoughts that must be going through her head must be nothing short of hatred…hatred for Danny that is. I could see her whole demeanor changing. It was hatred. It was plainly written on her face. “Mom, I’ve become really clumsy lately…must have something to do with my pregnancy or something. I don’t know,” I excused. “I’ve been banging into everything and anything lately. I’ve been such a klutz. It must have something to do with my being pregnant.”
She waved her hands at me in a shushing manner, and quickly turned away. I could see that she was struggling to keep her cool. She walked over to the window and stared out at the black sky. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I wanted to crawl under a rock somewhere far, far away. I wish she would say something. The awkward silence felt like a lifetime. She seemed to be deep in her thoughts, and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and even a little afraid. Several minutes passed before she turned back and asked, “Did the doctor recommend an OBGYN?”
I shook my head ‘yes’ and answered, “He mentioned something about my going to Stonybrook University Hospital because they have a high risk clinic there. He feels that I may need the attention of a high risk doctor, so that’s where they’re referring me.” I began scrambling around for the paperwork the doctor gave me. “Over there on the counter by the sink is the name of the doctor they recommended.” How does she do it? How does she keep it cool and act like nothing?
My mother went over to the other side of the room and retrieved the paperwork. She nodded her head and said, “This is a really good
My mother presented a happy disposition, but deep down I could tell that she was sad at the same time. It was really a kind of odd expression. “Well, sweetie, I want you to relax and get lots of rest. Try and be happy. Think of the joy you’ll experience in the years to come. This baby will be a fourth generation Martinez. She or he will have the best of everything. I’ll make sure of that…” she paused for a moment and contemplated her next words. She began talking again, “Sweetie, you’re young and I know that you must be feeling overwhelmed. As the baby grows inside of you and you begin to feel it move around and when the doctor lets you hear its heartbeat for the first time, you will feel completely overjoyed and special. You’ll have an instant bond with that baby, way before its born. I can’t explain how you’ll feel, but the happiness will come from deep within your soul.”
“ I am happy, mom. Really I am.” I said trying to bring a smile to my face.
“ Liar,” she retorted with a smile. “I know you, honey. Tell me what’s really going on here.”
“ Nothing, mom,” I answered coyly, “It’s just such a big change and I guess I’m a little nervous. That’s all. The doctor seems to think that I might have complications due to something that he noticed. I think the word he used was hematoma. I can’t quite remember, but regardless, he thinks I’m on the high-risk side. He feels that I may have problems with bruising.”
“ A hematoma? And bruising?” she asked. Concern immediately sprang into my mother’s facial expression. “Honey, a hematoma is caused by internal bleeding. I don’t understand you’ve never had a problem with bleeding before. Have you injured yourself that you’d be bleeding or bruising? Let me take a good look at you.” She stood up and quickly removed my blanket before I had a chance to stop her. She immediately gasped and covered her mouth in shock at what she saw.
I grabbed the blanket back from her and quickly covered up. No one has ever seen my legs…no one. Of all the people to see, it would have to be my mother. The thoughts that must be going through her head must be nothing short of hatred…hatred for Danny that is. I could see her whole demeanor changing. It was hatred. It was plainly written on her face. “Mom, I’ve become really clumsy lately…must have something to do with my pregnancy or something. I don’t know,” I excused. “I’ve been banging into everything and anything lately. I’ve been such a klutz. It must have something to do with my being pregnant.”
She waved her hands at me in a shushing manner, and quickly turned away. I could see that she was struggling to keep her cool. She walked over to the window and stared out at the black sky. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I wanted to crawl under a rock somewhere far, far away. I wish she would say something. The awkward silence felt like a lifetime. She seemed to be deep in her thoughts, and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and even a little afraid. Several minutes passed before she turned back and asked, “Did the doctor recommend an OBGYN?”
I shook my head ‘yes’ and answered, “He mentioned something about my going to Stonybrook University Hospital because they have a high risk clinic there. He feels that I may need the attention of a high risk doctor, so that’s where they’re referring me.” I began scrambling around for the paperwork the doctor gave me. “Over there on the counter by the sink is the name of the doctor they recommended.” How does she do it? How does she keep it cool and act like nothing?
My mother went over to the other side of the room and retrieved the paperwork. She nodded her head and said, “This is a really good
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