Count It All Joy by Ashea S. Goldson

it.”
    â€œIt’s just that I’m sure that fertility specialist of yours is highly recommended, and the Jamesons did have a baby, but three years is a long time to wait, though.”
    I squinted my eyes at her. “What are you getting at, Yvonne?”
    â€œWell, just that there are other options still.”
    â€œExcuse me?”
    Yvonne used her hands to express herself. “I mean, I have a friend who does that.”
    â€œDoes what?”
    Yvonne leaned toward me like she was telling me a secret. “She helps couples have babies.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œShe helps couples have babies,” Yvonne whispered again.
    I looked around to make sure no one else was listening. “Helps them how? Is she a doctor?”
    â€œNo, she is a professional surrogate.”
    â€œA surrogate?” I started shaking my head and my hands to indicate a definite no. I had heard a few things about surrogacy over the years, but unfortunately, everything I knew was far from good.
    â€œYes, she does that for a living, and she’s had five babies for other people so far.”
    Yvonne stepped closer to me, and I could smell her flowery perfume.
    â€œSounds very interesting, Yvonne, but I want to have babies with my wife, not some stranger.”
    â€œI know what you mean, but she can carry your baby for you just in case Sister Alex can’t.”
    Now I was offended. “Who said my wife can’t? I would never ever accept that unless God Himself came down from heaven and told me.”
    â€œWhoa, wait a minute now. It’s not me saying that. I mean, you never know, just in case.”
    â€œJust in case?”
    â€œYeah, just in case things don’t work out the way you want. You two can use her eggs or Sister Alex’s. It doesn’t matter to my friend at all. She gets paid either way.”
    â€œSo it’s all about money for her?”
    â€œHey, don’t judge my friend. She’s just doing a service like everybody else in business.
    It’s all very clean and legal.”
    I swallowed hard at the thought that Alex might not be able to conceive. Then I snapped back. “Thanks for the offer, but we’ve got it under control.”
    â€œOkay, but if you ever change your mind, here’s my new cell number.” Yvonne handed me a card with her name and number on it. “I’d love to help.”
    Then at the sight of me sweeping furiously to avoid eye contact, Yvonne walked out the front door. I was angry now at how she had approached me and at how I had let her foolishness get in my head. Although I brushed her away, and I didn’t even want to think the unthinkable, after the next few disappointing attempts Alex and I went through, I couldn’t help but remember Yvonne’s words.

Chapter Thirteen
    Alex
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    The next morning, Joshua was up early praying as usual. When he was done, he seemed to stay far away from me, quietly getting ready for work. I fixed breakfast and got Lilah and myself dressed. Joshua and I hardly talked or touched at all. Our hands did touch once as I reached to tighten his tie. He mouthed the words “thank you,” and then disappeared from the bedroom. Normally I would have followed him into the living room, but my mood was different too.
    My mind was on Kiano and the other children in his village. I wondered what they would do when their orphanage closed. I pictured all of the children piling into one small building miles away, crying and smeared with mud. I remembered all the hardships those children had to face on a daily basis, and it almost broke my heart. Two trips to Kenya had been enough to settle what I needed to do. Still, I didn’t say anything. I just watched my husband play with his privileged child, Lilah, at the breakfast table.
    Kiano didn’t sit at a table like this or have a breakfast of oatmeal and bacon like ours. He didn’t have parents to play with him or hug him before