Conquering Chaos by Catelynn Lowell, Tyler Baltierra

adoption really means.
A First Preview of Adoption
    Tyler:
    When I was fifteen, my sister found out she was pregnant. She’d graduated from high
     school just three days before. It was not a happy surprise. She was a popular girl
     and a high achiever, and she had big plans to head for college and make something
     of her life. On top of that, she was no longer with the father, who had major anger
     issues. Nothing about the situation was ideal, to say the least. When she found out
     she was pregnant, she was freaking out.
    She told my mom what was going on, and after my mom had her own freak-out, they started
     to discuss the options. In my sister’s mind, there was no way she could take care
     of this baby; there was no chance the father would make a suitable parent, and besides,
     she had all of these plans for her life. So when my mom suggested making an adoption
     plan, my sister jumped for it immediately.
    My mom helped her get the whole adoption set up. We drove down to Florida and met
     the couple who were hoping to adopt the baby. Everything was ready to go, right up
     to the day my sister gave birth.
    Catelynn:
    I was there at the hospital for the whole intense experience. The adoptive couple
     was there with the car seat and everything, ready to go. They fed Tyler’s niece her
     first bottle, and they were all set to go home. We hung out with that family for three
     days. But Tyler’s sister had struggled with her decision, and in the end, a new boyfriend
     talked her out of it in the hospital. It was devastating for the couple who had gotten
     all their hopes up. But it happens that way sometimes. Tyler’s sister was a nineteen-year-old
     girl who’d just given birth and was recovering from her C-section, and she was vulnerable
     to those second thoughts. She just couldn’t go through with it.
    Tyler:
    I remember the couple breaking down in tears. They were devastated. It was a tragic
     moment all around, but at the same time, I had my sister’s back. Whenever she’d seemed
     indecisive, I was really worried about her being pressured one way or another. I was
     always telling people to back off. In the end she just didn’t have enough peace with
     the adoption decision to resist this guy talking her out of it. She had to go with
     what she felt at that moment or risk regretting something forever. It was a rough
     moment, for sure.
    Catelynn:
    That entire experience was fresh in our minds when I got pregnant. We’d both had an
     up-close and personal look at adoption, and that was our main inspiration. When we
     realized we wanted to look into adoption for ourselves, Tyler’s mom called and made
     an appointment for us just like she’d done for his sister. Soon enough we were sitting
     down with Dawn, our adoption counselor.
Looking at All the Options
    Tyler:
    One of the first things we discussed with Dawn was the different types of adoption
     we could go with. There are open, semi-open, and closed adoptions. Both open and semi-open
     adoptions involved contact between the birth parents and the child. The main difference
     between a semi-open adoption and a complete open adoption is that a semi-open adoption
     doesn’t allow for face-to-face visits, while in an open adoption you actually get
     those physical meetings. A semi-open adoption involves photos and other kinds of communication,
     but not face-to-face contact.
    Dawn told us the options, and at that first meeting, we looked at each other and said,
     “We definitely want it closed.” We had our minds on a clean break in the beginning.
     We thought it would be better to have absolutely no involvement. We eventually started
     to soften up and thought we might have photos sent to my mom, and then my mom could
     hold onto them until we were ready.
    Catelynn:
    As we went back and forth on that part of the decision, I remember Dawn looking us
     in the eyes and saying, “You guys need to try and understand that this is going to
     be the hardest thing