Conklin's Blueprints by Brooke Page

to. 
    I stared out the window at the sky becoming dark,  “I get it Tyler, and don’t worry about it.”
    His eyes slowly studied me, taking turns between the road and my reaction.  “I just didn’t know what to say to Nathan, I’m sorry.”
    I sighed; did he have to drag this on?  “I get it, I’m not your type, and you don’t have to keep pointing it out,” I peeped, feeling a burn in my throat.
    His eyes widened, “Is that what you think?”
    I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my feet.  “Isn’t it obvious?  I’m no super model, I don’t have amazing hair or a perfect body, and I’m barely average.  You are…” closing my eyes, I couldn’t finish my sentence. 
    Tyler pulled off to the side of the road.  It was raining now.  “Your appearance has nothing to do with me being afraid to be seen with you; I am doing it for your own good.”  I could feel his eyes burning into me.  I didn’t have the courage to look into them or the courage to say anything.
    He sighed and put his hand on his forehead.  “Becca, it’s hard to explain.  I… I can’t have a relationship.”
    Why did he keep making excuses?  I told him it was okay, that I understood.  He still didn’t say he was attracted to me.  Was he not who he said he was?  He took his hand from his head and put it in his lap, his eyes pleading with me, “Becca, please look at me.”
    I slowly looked up at him, my eyes fighting the tears that burned them.  I tried to keep my expression blank.  I couldn’t show him how much his rejection hurt me.
    “You have no idea how much last night meant to me.” His eyes were raw.  I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.  Maybe he had just never been with anyone.  His actions were a bit middle school, but his kiss was very well practiced. 
    “Please, say something.  I can’t stand this silence,” he begged.
    I worked up the strength to open my mouth.  “What do you want me to say?  You just said you were afraid to be seen with me.”
    He turned so his body was facing me.  The rain was really starting to come down now.  “It has nothing to do with you, it’s my family.  Not so much Nathan, I just...I can’t take certain chances… it will just end badly.”
    I was starting to get mad.  So now I was not only not good enough for him, but I wasn’t good enough because his family wouldn’t accept me?  “Well don’t worry, I won’t ever touch you again,” I snapped.  He sat back, shocked at my words.  I instantly felt bad for my tone.  Looking at the ceiling, I said, “Tyler, getting shut down is nothing new to me.  I know I’m not… I’m not pretty.  I get it if you are afraid to bring me home to your family.”
    “Damn it, Becca, I told you it has nothing to do with your appearance!” He hit his steering wheel.  I flinched at his outburst.  “Isn’t it obvious how unbelievably attracted I am to you?” 
    I jerked my head back, he was attracted to me?  “You are?” I croaked.
    He slowly nodded his head and leaned into me.  “You distract me.  I keep picturing you in my mind.  I can’t think straight!  All I want to do is talk to you and spend time with you.  Even more so since last night.”  His words were breathy while his eyes were smoldering.
    A tear escaped from my eye.  I quickly rubbed it away from my cheek. 
    “Please don’t, I hate that I’m making you feel this way.” He fidgeted next to me.  Keeping his eyes on me he said, “I just don’t know how I can make this work.”
    “The more you talk, the more I don’t want it to,” I spat out, letting out a raspy breath. I was going to start crying.  I was at the very end and I couldn’t stop it from happening.
    He tilted his head, his eyes getting sad.
    “Can you just take me home,” I said more sternly, finally looking at him. 
    He frowned and turned to face the front.  Starting the car again, he pulled back onto the road.  My phone rang as we got onto the