Conflicted by Sophie Monroe

it was Cole. He was struggling to grasp any normalcy that he could get his hands on. From what I understood, when he returned, he was prescribed high doses of anti-depressants and painkillers, which actually just masked the underlying problem. Having an addictive personality, it didn’t take him long to start popping those things like Tic-Tac’s. Every day was a struggle for him to keep walking the straight line.
    After lacing up my gloves, I started hitting the bag next to him. Zoning out, I pictured my dad’s face with each thrust of my fist. I pictured everything that I ’d missed with my mom and Kyle over the years. Proms, graduations, weddings that they would never see. Sweat was pouring down my face, running into my eyes and causing them to sting, but I pressed forward. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I glanced over at the clock. I’d been at it for over an hour. My heart was hammering behind my ribcage. Although broken, it still functioned, though sometimes I wanted to rip the fucking thing out of my chest.
    “Feel any better?” Cole asked. I nodded my response. “Tara’s working the bar tonight if you feel like going to grab a beer? I could sure as hell use one about now.”
    There was a hint of desperation in his tone and I knew he didn’t want to be alone right now any more than I did.
    “Yeah, a beer sounds good. You can follow me back to my place if you want. I need to get changed and you can borrow some clothes.”
    The crisp evening air was welcome when we walked out. Climbing into my car, I lit up the tires pulling onto the road and watched as Cole’s headlight grew closer in my rearview mirror. I knew there was no way that I could keep up with him if he actually decided to throttle it, but I was bigger than him. We were zipping through the side streets until we got to the road that led us back to the house. Cranking the stereo, I put the pedal to the metal. It was such a release, although I felt a little bad about beating on my car.
    We made it to the house in no time. Fumbling with the keys, I opened the front door and held my hand out , gesturing for Cole to go inside first. He was taking in the downstairs, standing there with his mouth open. I guess it was pretty impressive. It was way more than what we needed, but Jake’s balls to the wall attitude didn’t end with just Aubrey.
    “This place is ridiculous. Want a roomie?” he joked.
    I would have almost offered to let him stay if I didn’t think that it would cause tension. Even though Piper and Cole were on speaking terms and didn’t have any bad blood with each other, they were hardly what you would consider friends at this point. They got along and were cordial, but that was as far as it went.
    Stepping into my closet, I picked out a typical Derek ensemble of jeans, t-shirt, and a plaid button up. I grabbed some of the clothes that didn’t fit me anymore and tossed them out to Cole to put on. After a quick change, we were off to the bar.
    Opening the door to the bar, I was hit with the familiar smell of burger grease, peanuts, and stale beer. I welcomed it. Despite everything that had transpired in the last couple of weeks, going out was exactly what I needed, not a pity party of one. After walking up to the front, I saw Cole’s girlfriend, Tara, behind the counter tending bar. She was a pretty brunette with hazel eyes and a show stopping smile. She brought us two beers before taking orders from the rest of the busy front end.
    Cole’s face lit up when he was near her. I was glad to see that he was starting to get out there again. Tara was really a terrific girl. She was smart, witty, and kept him on his toes. I needed someone like that too. Just not yet.
    As the night progressed and the alcohol flowed, I felt myself start to unwind. I told him all about the letter from the parole office and how I felt about the situation. He told me the same thing that Kevin said about going to talk to my dad. As adamant as I was at first about