Lovesick by James Driggers

Virginia. And I was wondering if Miss Mona might want to take a walk after you all have your supper. I will be off by nine, and I could walk her around to show her a little of the town. I’m sure she must be tired of being cooped up in here all day and night.”
    Before Mona could speak, Virginia answered. “As I said, it is probably not a good idea for you to do anything that might call attention to yourself or to associate you with . . . us. Mona is fine to stay here with me.”
    Butcher tried to read Mona’s expression. Was she angry? Embarrassed? Either way, he could tell that Virginia was not concerned with the girl.
    â€œBesides, I will need her help to get ready for bed. She always helps to see me to bed, don’t you, Mona? Now, George, it may be best for you to get back to the kitchen.”
    â€œI was wondering if there was anything I could do . . . you know. To help.”
    â€œDo you want to grease the pan for me, George? Do you want to stand over my shoulder and make sure I have the measurements right? Sorry, but you are just going to have to keep out of sight for now. If there is anything I need from you, I will let you know. Do you understand that?”
    â€œYes, ma’am.”
    â€œStop being such a nervous Nellie. You make me nervous, too. I practiced the recipes every day after you left. Didn’t I, Mona?”
    â€œYes, she did. Biscuits and more biscuits.”
    â€œThings could not be going better. I know I have impressed the judges. I would say that Colonel Claiborne is even a bit smitten with me. Can you imagine? He is perfectly dreadful. He has no hair to speak of, but he still has dandruff. How is that possible? George, you have to trust me now. You have to step away from it.”
    George nodded to them both and left. Outside the door, he felt the past rush over him like the breeze from a ceiling fan. It was the same shut out feeling he had back in Brest when he had visited Maude on a night when he was not scheduled to visit. He had started drinking in the afternoon and began to miss her. He stumbled his way along the familiar streets. However, when he arrived he discovered she was already occupied entertaining a local dairy farmer. Everyone in the house was in the dining room and parlor, drinking and toasting. Maude had become engaged to the dairy farmer that very afternoon. Butcher knew she had other men, but this was different—the fact that she loved someone else, wanted to marry him was not a consideration. He tried to fight the dairy farmer, whose name he did not know, until several of the men along with Laurent pinned his arms and threw him out the door onto the street.
    Laurent tried to explain that it was for the best, that Butcher would be leaving soon anyway. Butcher knew this was true, but it did not console him. Laurent told Butcher the farmer was the one who supplied all the dairy for the house, all milk and cream, the butter, the eggs. “He has bartered them with us for a long time,” he said. “He has had his eye on Maude for a while. Besides, I am the one you should feel sorry for,” he laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “Now I will have to pay cash for everything.”
    Butcher didn’t think the joke was funny. “I am in love with her.”
    â€œI wish you could be happy for her. This is a good match. If you really do love her, you will understand this. You will step away.”
    Butcher could feel that he was ready to cry, so he clambered up from the street and declared that he would never return. Butcher told Laurent that he and Helaine and Maude and her dairyman could all go to hell. Fuck ’em all.
    Laurent told Butcher that perhaps it would be best if he did not return to the brothel. And if he tried, he would throw him out. Butcher knew he did not need to threaten. He would never return, never see Maude again, but he never forgot the feeling of being cast away. It was the same thing he felt now