Confessions of a Backup Dancer by Tucker Shaw

officially grossed out. Darcy goes “leaveher alone!” and they left. It was gross. Dude we are working so hard. I’m so sorry I haven’t written. I totally haven’t been able to even concentrate hardly at all. Thanks for lending Evan that money last week. Did he pay you back yet? I gave him some $$. If he didn’t, let me know so I can kick his ass. We’ve been dancing like 12 hours a day. For the first few days, I was just so tired at the end of the day that I thought I would just totally pass out. But now that I’m really starting to get the routines down, I’m getting better. my abs are seriously tight right now! and darla hasn’t commented on my weight in days. anyway, darcy continues her totally schizo behavior … but added all up, I think I like her pretty well. and don’t believe everything you read about “best friends.” You are my one and only, tito. forever and ever.
    Anyway I’m starting to get pretty freaked out about the show. it’s coming up in nine days. I have nine days to get perfect. and the thing is, I still haven’t really bonded with the dancers. I still get looks from them like I’m some kind of amateur. I guess it’s because I’m younger than them but Ican’t help feeling they’re annoyed that I’m friends with darcy or something. what do you think? it’s not like they want me to fail, but they don’t want me to be too good or something. I don’t know. I don’t get it, I thought we were supposed to work together. Why aren’t you here with me?
    L8er,
    Kelly aka K.K.
    PS—Punkin the Pekinese is seriously annoying.
    The rest of the day sucked completely. I mean, it started out well enough. I felt like I was starting to go THERE in a couple of places.
    rashid even asked me to be, like, darcy’s stand-in on a few of the numbers since she wasn’t there. (maybe she had a photo shoot or went off with jesse, who knows?) the guys (armand and jes—s) used me to practice the lift that they normally do with darcy.
    as a crew we really nailed some stuff. when we came to the end of “Indentured to Me,” I was like hang on guys I have to take a whiz. I bolted for the bathroom because I seriously needed to pee! they laughed behind me. for the first time it sounded like they were laughing with me instead of at me.
    but just as I was about to shut the door behind me someone blocked it open. I knew it was darla even before I saw her—I smelled peaches.
    I peeked around and looked up at her. her lipstick was fresh, her hair was perfect and even through her wraparound sunglasses I could tell she had the LOOK on.
    â€œyou looked really good out there today K.K.,’ she goes. “you seem to be picking up on the moves right.” I mumbled thanks and tried to walk past her into the bathroom. “it’s a good thing you’ve learned the stuff because we open next week.”
    and again I started mumbling, this time about how psyched I was and how much work I know we need to do but we’ll get there. and then she goes, “that’s nice to hear that you’re dedicated. But K.K. let me be very clear”—and she actually put her hand on my shoulder all faking like she was being sensitive or caring or some-thing—“rashid seems to think you’re very talented, and you seem to have no problem doing anyone’s steps, including darcy’s. but let’s all remember why we’re here, we’re here because of darcy. she is the star and the reason we have jobs, and do you know why darcy is here? darcy is here because of me. and no matter what was running through your mind during today’s rehearsals, no matter what rashid or any of the others asked you to do, it’s entirely inappropriate for you to sub in for darcy’s steps, even in rehearsal, you are NOT the star here, do you understand? darcy has enough competition from pashmina,