Cold Kill by Stephen Leather Page A

the camera. They’d taken the picture using a timer because Shepherd had been away on a job in the West Country. He had been away so much when Liam was growing up, always on some job or other. If he’d known then how little time he had left with Sue he’d have spent every minute with her. Now it was too late. She was gone and he and Liam had each other.
    He took his mug of coffee out into the garden and sat down at the wooden table by the hedge. Sue had chosen it and the two wooden bench seats at the local garden centre, but the instructions for putting them together had been in Chinese or Japanese so it had taken him several attempts. The benches still weren’t right and he had to stick pieces of folded cardboard under the legs to stop them wobbling. Sue had been pregnant with Liam and she’d used it as an excuse to avoid the heavy work, standing behind him with one hand on her swelling belly as she laughed at his D-I-Y efforts.
    ‘Oh, Sue, I miss you,’ Shepherd whispered. He remembered the last time he’d seen her as vividly as if it had been yesterday. He’d been undercover in a high-security prison, posing as an armed robber on remand so that he could get close to a drugs baron. Sue had come in with Liam for a visit, but to stay in character it had been vital to make it look as if they were having marital problems. As she left, she’d yelled at him, her voice loaded with venom, ‘I hate you! I hope I never see you again, ever! You can rot in here for all I care!’ They had been the last words she had ever said to him. Tears stung his eyes. He knew she had been playing a role, which he’d asked her to play, and he knew, too, that she had loved him and he loved her, and that she hadn’t meant what she’d said, but it was so damned unfair that it was his last memory of her. He hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye properly, to tell her how much he loved her and how important she was to him . . .
    It was futile to accuse life of being unfair. Life wasn’t fair or unfair, it was just life. You played the hand you were dealt, and that was it.
    Shepherd looked around the garden. The grass had to be cut and the fruit trees pruned, while the rockeries that Sue had tended so lovingly needed weeding. The garden had always been Sue’s province, and he hadn’t touched it since her death. Katra had planted a few herbs by the kitchen and she’d told Shepherd that she’d mow the lawn but he’d said he’d take care of it. He would, too, as soon as he had time.
    He looked at the unkempt lawn where Liam had taken his first steps, where he’d taught him to kick a football, where they’d played cowboys and Indians until Sue had said she didn’t want Liam messing around with guns, even make-believe ones. Shepherd couldn’t remember the last time he’d played with his son. Really played, the way they had when Sue was alive. He promised himself he’d spend more time with his boy. Quality time, as the TV psychologists put it. And he’d cut the grass. He sipped his coffee. Tomorrow.
    He heard a mobile phone ring and hurried back into the kitchen. It was Hargrove.
    ‘I’ve bad news, Spider,’ said Hargrove. ‘Rudi Pernaska’s dead.’
    ‘How?’
    ‘He killed himself.’
    ‘Why the hell did they let that happen?’
    ‘They couldn’t have stopped him. He bit his wrist open. Gnawed through a vein.’
    Shepherd cursed under his breath.
    ‘It wasn’t your fault, Spider.’
    ‘Like hell it wasn’t,’ hissed Shepherd. ‘I told him we’d found the cans.’
    ‘We’re not sure that’s why he did it.’
    ‘What? You think he just got depressed and decided to top himself? He did it because he knew we were on to him. Which means he was more scared of them than he was of us.’ Shepherd slammed his hand on the counter.
    ‘We couldn’t have known he’d react like that,’ said Hargrove. ‘And whether or not we told him we’d found the money, it would have come out eventually. It wasn’t our fault. The