into thousands of pieces, completely fucking destroyed. Just. Like. Me.
Crushing my hands against the sharp splintered mirror, I slid them down harshly, taking in the burn of pain as the uneven edges sliced through my palms. Dr. Jekyll, meet Mr. Hyde.
I’m going to destroy this room.
Every bloody inch of it .
And I did, until Dylan and Jen found me on the verge of smashing Samantha’s desk through the window, crumpled up letter still balled up in my bloodied fist. Dylan tackled me. It wasn’t hard, because I didn’t fight him, just sort of sunk onto the ground and handed Jen the letter.
Her eyes scanned over it, hand to her mouth. She wiped my blood off her hands onto her pants, disgusted. Fuck you, bitch, this is how I deal with shit .
“I have to get out of here before I destroy this hospital. Need to be alone,” I growled.
People gave me a wide-open path to leave the hospital. Nobody stopped me, detained me, or even called security. They just let me tear the place up behind her office door. Being thought of as dangerous and savage, does have its fucking advantages, doesn’t it? Not one person thought twice about provoking me, stopping me, or calling for fucking help. Everyone there was a stupid, pathetic sheep, because all they did was make my brutal tendencies feel bloody liberating. As if I had every right to explode so violently, because of feeling wronged. The sheep just fed the wolf.
The drive home was almost lethal, as I never once touched my foot to the brake, not until I slammed on it in front of my house, and lunged out of the truck. There were no deputies to stop me, no soft smooth voices to lure me to calmness, there was nothing; nothing but blurs of movements and hazy moments. And rage.
Disconnecting from the world, I closed myself in my den, just watching the dark crimson blood seep out of the wounds on my hand, as I obsessively opened and closed them. Open and closed them.
When the outside skies grew dark, I heard Jen tiptoe into the room, “I am so sorry, Kade. I had no idea she was planning this.” She held a bat in one hand, most likely for her own protection. Smart . I wanted to beg her to hit me with it.
“It is because of that woman I’m still fucking breathing. There are too different Kades, there’s the before Sam one, and since Sam one. I’m going to die going back to the first one,” I seethed.
She lowered herself to the floor next to me, leaning her back along side mine, against the stone of the fireplace, and laid the bat across her legs. Looking down into my hands, she asked, “What is that?”
I held it up, a small lilac ribbon on a clip, twirling it between two fingers. “Her ribbon.”
“That’s the one you found in the crash… you kept that? ”
“Hold it in my pocket wherever I go.”
“Why?”
“Smells like apples and cinnamon, smells like her. She wore it the first night I saw her, and I can’t let her go just yet. You need to leave me alone, Jen. Not at a good place right now. I feel like I could climb a bloody bell tower and start shooting.”
“When I found her and David that day, freaking bloodied and…God, it was horrible, Kade. She didn’t want me to help her. She didn’t want me to come with her. The only reason I knew what happened was because I was at the hospital. Then we got her out of there, and she asked me to drive her home to get some stuff while David was working, and pick her up when she was done to take her to the airport – she was going to start over alone. But when I got there, they were physically fighting, and he grabbed me and punched me…Anyway, she never wanted to drag anyone into this…Maybe she…”
“What happened that day? She’s fucking gone, so just bloody fucking tell me. How the bloody hell did she end up in my hiding place?” I snapped viciously. “And don’t waste my time by telling me about what you felt and what you went
Crushing my hands against the sharp splintered mirror, I slid them down harshly, taking in the burn of pain as the uneven edges sliced through my palms. Dr. Jekyll, meet Mr. Hyde.
I’m going to destroy this room.
Every bloody inch of it .
And I did, until Dylan and Jen found me on the verge of smashing Samantha’s desk through the window, crumpled up letter still balled up in my bloodied fist. Dylan tackled me. It wasn’t hard, because I didn’t fight him, just sort of sunk onto the ground and handed Jen the letter.
Her eyes scanned over it, hand to her mouth. She wiped my blood off her hands onto her pants, disgusted. Fuck you, bitch, this is how I deal with shit .
“I have to get out of here before I destroy this hospital. Need to be alone,” I growled.
People gave me a wide-open path to leave the hospital. Nobody stopped me, detained me, or even called security. They just let me tear the place up behind her office door. Being thought of as dangerous and savage, does have its fucking advantages, doesn’t it? Not one person thought twice about provoking me, stopping me, or calling for fucking help. Everyone there was a stupid, pathetic sheep, because all they did was make my brutal tendencies feel bloody liberating. As if I had every right to explode so violently, because of feeling wronged. The sheep just fed the wolf.
The drive home was almost lethal, as I never once touched my foot to the brake, not until I slammed on it in front of my house, and lunged out of the truck. There were no deputies to stop me, no soft smooth voices to lure me to calmness, there was nothing; nothing but blurs of movements and hazy moments. And rage.
Disconnecting from the world, I closed myself in my den, just watching the dark crimson blood seep out of the wounds on my hand, as I obsessively opened and closed them. Open and closed them.
When the outside skies grew dark, I heard Jen tiptoe into the room, “I am so sorry, Kade. I had no idea she was planning this.” She held a bat in one hand, most likely for her own protection. Smart . I wanted to beg her to hit me with it.
“It is because of that woman I’m still fucking breathing. There are too different Kades, there’s the before Sam one, and since Sam one. I’m going to die going back to the first one,” I seethed.
She lowered herself to the floor next to me, leaning her back along side mine, against the stone of the fireplace, and laid the bat across her legs. Looking down into my hands, she asked, “What is that?”
I held it up, a small lilac ribbon on a clip, twirling it between two fingers. “Her ribbon.”
“That’s the one you found in the crash… you kept that? ”
“Hold it in my pocket wherever I go.”
“Why?”
“Smells like apples and cinnamon, smells like her. She wore it the first night I saw her, and I can’t let her go just yet. You need to leave me alone, Jen. Not at a good place right now. I feel like I could climb a bloody bell tower and start shooting.”
“When I found her and David that day, freaking bloodied and…God, it was horrible, Kade. She didn’t want me to help her. She didn’t want me to come with her. The only reason I knew what happened was because I was at the hospital. Then we got her out of there, and she asked me to drive her home to get some stuff while David was working, and pick her up when she was done to take her to the airport – she was going to start over alone. But when I got there, they were physically fighting, and he grabbed me and punched me…Anyway, she never wanted to drag anyone into this…Maybe she…”
“What happened that day? She’s fucking gone, so just bloody fucking tell me. How the bloody hell did she end up in my hiding place?” I snapped viciously. “And don’t waste my time by telling me about what you felt and what you went
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