the outside of my arm to thread it through my hair and yanks me up against him. “Come on, Hells, admit it. It’ll make you feel better.”
With every breath I can feel the brush of his chest against mine. The heat of his palms, the subtle pleasure of his fingers rubbing against my skin. Do I want to admit that he makes me want to go against my better judgement? Do I even want to go there with him, knowing how this plays out? I don’t know what to say, so I stare up at him, my mouth slightly open, waiting for my brain to come up with the perfect comeback.
He exhales audibly. “Fine. Have it your way. At least tell me what you’re so afraid of.”
“You,” I say, without even thinking. It’s not a hard answer to come up with. Because I am scared of the way he makes me feel, and how easy it would be to let him suck me back in. We’ve been here before, and each time he’s walked away. But this time he isn’t going to join the marines, or be deployed. He’s staying in Reverence. How am I supposed to deal with that when he changes his mind about wanting to be with me again?
I twist out of his grasp, and hurry across the road. I don’t glance back, but if he was right behind me, he’d grab hold of me. I’m sure of it. I don’t hear footsteps either as I race toward Tom’s.
I wonder what I would have done if he’d caught me up. If he’d have held onto me, instead of letting go. Just once, I would have liked to know what that was like.
***
It’s too quiet at Tom’s. Unusual, considering how many of us are packed in to the place on a day-to-day basis. I stop by Tom’s room to grab a change of clothes. Lucky lifts her head off the pillow she’s made of his legs and lets out a low yowl in greeting. It’s probably weird that I spend so much of my time sharing a bed with Tom and the dog. But we’ve been doing it so long now, it seems normal.
When he moved back to Reverence after his boxing career ended he didn’t sleep much. He had pain from the car accident that kept him awake. So we’d taken up where we’d left off before he moved away. Keeping each other company in the darkness. It worked since neither of us dated, but at some point that will probably change.
I know it’s getting to Mace. He doesn’t like knowing I’m in bed with his brother, despite the fact he knows neither of us would ever do anything. Tom’s still hung up on my dating Rush. He’s always been one to see things in black and white when it came to his brothers.
I don’t know how he would take it if he knew the truth. That Rush was nothing compared to the monumental craziness that overcomes me with regard to Mace. But it’s a moot point. Because there is nothing going on now, and there won’t be. Some secrets are better kept in the dark.
I slip back into the hallway with my clothes in hand. I want to take a long hot shower and wash away this evening’s disaster. I’m still riled up by Mace rocking up and ordering me to end my date. I don’t know where he gets off, behaving like a complete Neanderthal. I’m holding onto that feeling, squeezing the life out of it, as I amble toward the bathroom to keep the melancholy descending over me at bay.
I didn’t hear Mace come in. I don’t even notice him standing in the door of his room until I’m practically on top of him. He snakes an arm around me, his hand settling on my lower back and pulling me tight against him.
I should probably fight him. Tell him to let go of me. I should probably do a lot of things that aren’t letting him engulf me, his head to my shoulder as he inhales deeply.
“You’re scared of me.” He’s so serious, an edge to his voice that doesn’t fit with his usually cocky attitude. “You didn’t used to be. I don’t like that you feel that way now.” His mouth tickles my skin. “I’d never hurt you. I might get a little—”
“Brutish? Cave-man-esque?” I feel like at some point something shifted for him tonight, and I have to
With every breath I can feel the brush of his chest against mine. The heat of his palms, the subtle pleasure of his fingers rubbing against my skin. Do I want to admit that he makes me want to go against my better judgement? Do I even want to go there with him, knowing how this plays out? I don’t know what to say, so I stare up at him, my mouth slightly open, waiting for my brain to come up with the perfect comeback.
He exhales audibly. “Fine. Have it your way. At least tell me what you’re so afraid of.”
“You,” I say, without even thinking. It’s not a hard answer to come up with. Because I am scared of the way he makes me feel, and how easy it would be to let him suck me back in. We’ve been here before, and each time he’s walked away. But this time he isn’t going to join the marines, or be deployed. He’s staying in Reverence. How am I supposed to deal with that when he changes his mind about wanting to be with me again?
I twist out of his grasp, and hurry across the road. I don’t glance back, but if he was right behind me, he’d grab hold of me. I’m sure of it. I don’t hear footsteps either as I race toward Tom’s.
I wonder what I would have done if he’d caught me up. If he’d have held onto me, instead of letting go. Just once, I would have liked to know what that was like.
***
It’s too quiet at Tom’s. Unusual, considering how many of us are packed in to the place on a day-to-day basis. I stop by Tom’s room to grab a change of clothes. Lucky lifts her head off the pillow she’s made of his legs and lets out a low yowl in greeting. It’s probably weird that I spend so much of my time sharing a bed with Tom and the dog. But we’ve been doing it so long now, it seems normal.
When he moved back to Reverence after his boxing career ended he didn’t sleep much. He had pain from the car accident that kept him awake. So we’d taken up where we’d left off before he moved away. Keeping each other company in the darkness. It worked since neither of us dated, but at some point that will probably change.
I know it’s getting to Mace. He doesn’t like knowing I’m in bed with his brother, despite the fact he knows neither of us would ever do anything. Tom’s still hung up on my dating Rush. He’s always been one to see things in black and white when it came to his brothers.
I don’t know how he would take it if he knew the truth. That Rush was nothing compared to the monumental craziness that overcomes me with regard to Mace. But it’s a moot point. Because there is nothing going on now, and there won’t be. Some secrets are better kept in the dark.
I slip back into the hallway with my clothes in hand. I want to take a long hot shower and wash away this evening’s disaster. I’m still riled up by Mace rocking up and ordering me to end my date. I don’t know where he gets off, behaving like a complete Neanderthal. I’m holding onto that feeling, squeezing the life out of it, as I amble toward the bathroom to keep the melancholy descending over me at bay.
I didn’t hear Mace come in. I don’t even notice him standing in the door of his room until I’m practically on top of him. He snakes an arm around me, his hand settling on my lower back and pulling me tight against him.
I should probably fight him. Tell him to let go of me. I should probably do a lot of things that aren’t letting him engulf me, his head to my shoulder as he inhales deeply.
“You’re scared of me.” He’s so serious, an edge to his voice that doesn’t fit with his usually cocky attitude. “You didn’t used to be. I don’t like that you feel that way now.” His mouth tickles my skin. “I’d never hurt you. I might get a little—”
“Brutish? Cave-man-esque?” I feel like at some point something shifted for him tonight, and I have to
Similar Books
