Class Is Not Dismissed! by Gitty Daneshvari

crawl
.”
    “So these catchy slogans aren’t just about the environment? Lucky us,” Lulu said with an eye roll.
    Showing an unusual amount of restraint, Theo ignored Lulu and continued on with Mrs. Wellington. “Just because it says sixty-five
     doesn’t mean you have todo sixty-five. Personally, I think twenty-five on a highway is an optimum speed. And I am more than happy to ride shotgun
     to make sure nothing gets out of control.”
    “How is it that I am stuck on a car trip with Theo
again?
” Lulu moaned loudly.
    “Luck? Friendship? Perhaps a mixture of both?” Theo said sincerely.
    “Chubby, you are to stay out of the front seat,” Mrs. Wellington said with fire engine red lips. “I will have no delays on
     this journey, do you understand? I am about to face off with a rival, and not that I am worried I will lose, because, let’s
     be honest, that’s impossible,” Mrs. Wellington said with mounting certainty. “But if we are late, this pageant prune will
     tell everyone about my school!”
    “Fine, Mrs. Wellington, I will let go of the speed limit issue, but what about bathroom breaks? I was thinking every ten to
     fifteen minutes.”
    “Theo, there is no way you need the bathroom every ten to fifteen minutes, and if you do, we’ll drop you at a doctor,” Lulu
     said harshly. “Preferably a mean one.”
    “This is not about me; I am speaking as Macaroni’s advocate.”
    “Let me guess: animal advocacy is part of your hall monitor duties,” Lulu said sarcastically.
    “Maybe,” Theo lied unconvincingly.
    “I can’t believe how much fun we are having on our road trip,” Hyacinth squealed. “I only wish we had a camera to document
     the good times.”
    As Lulu prepared to respond to Hyacinth, Mrs. Wellington revved the engine. Without checking her mirrors or looking behind
     her, she slammed her foot on the gas and careened into the street, filling the van with the smell of burnt rubber.

CHAPTER 14
EVERYONE’S AFRAID OF SOMETHING:
Neophobia is the fear of anything new.

    T ime check?” Mrs. Wellington barked at Schmidty as she crossed two lanes of traffic without looking.
    “You know when you’re having a nightmare and you realize it’s only a dream, and this sudden relief comes over you?” Theo whimpered.
     “I really want that to happen now.”
    “I said time check, Schmidty,” Mrs. Wellington roared as she barreled down Highway 90 without any regard for staying in her
     lane.
    “We have an hour, so Madame, might I ask you to refrain from driving in reverse on the road,” Schmidty said as he gripped
     the dashboard with white knuckles. “And please try to stay within the lines, or at the very least near them.”
    “Is this how all Americans drive on the motorway?” Madeleine whined. “No wonder people complain about American tourists.”
    Mrs. Wellington weaved between two large trucks before hitting the brakes, then speeding up, then hitting the brakes again.
    “Celery feels kind of carsick from all these maneuvers,” Hyacinth announced.
    “Celery’s lucky we’re still alive,” Theo said, before wiping his sweaty brow and bursting into tears. “I don’t want to die
     on an empty stomach!”
    “Theo,” Garrison said, leaning forward to grab his shoulders, “you need to calm down. You have your seat belt on, and the
     van has air bags. You’ll definitely survive.”
    “Um, I think I speak for all of us when I say we want to do more than survive. We want to avoid an accidentaltogether. Do you hear me, old lady in the tutu?” Lulu screamed while covering her now throbbing left eye.
    “Would it be terribly inconvenient to stop by a hardware store on the way to the pageant?” Madeleine asked. “I would love
     to get a proper veil and some repellents.”
    “Now is hardly the time,” Theo said to Madeleine with immense satisfaction.
    “Hey, Mrs. Wellington?” Garrison croaked as he watched the elderly woman apply lipstick in the rearview mirror. “I think