watching me. She was leading Jaxson along, trailing after
me.
It was so stupid of me to do what I had done,
but now I wondered if it mattered. If Anaya had chosen me, I never
had a chance. Why did she choose me?
Suddenly the memory shifted and we were in
the market.
It was a day like any other. People were
stopping at many of the street vendors. No money was required, but
there was often bartering for things you could not get from the
normal rations.
Devlin, a neighbor who lived just three
houses from mine, stopped at the butchers. “Marcus,” he said, in
good spirits.
“ Devlin, what can I get you?”
“ That ham would make a fine feast for my
daughter’s celebration. She has paired with Michael.”
“ Congratulations!” Marcus responded.
“Unfortunately that is for the God Queen. How about a
turkey?”
“ Of course, that would be lovely.”
The disappointment was clear on Devlin’s
face. We were not allowed to eat pork until we were past the age of
Choosing. It would have been quite a nice meal for the
celebration.
The memory did not end there. Moments later I
walked up to Marcus. I felt sick as my own memory of that day mixed
with Anaya’s.
I had met up with Devlin on the way in and he
expressed his disappointment. Not knowing the ham was for the
Halorans, I offered to barter with Marcus.
“ Marcus.” I leaned in close. “I know you
have had your eye on one of my blankets.”
“ You are very observant. My wife loves
your work,” he replied, hopeful.
“ I hear you have a ham?”
He paused for a moment. I smiled innocently
at him, hoping he would give in. He ran a hand through his hair. I
gave him a pleading, doe eyed look.
“ Oh, alright.” He heaved a heavy sigh, but
handed the ham over.
As I walked away, Jaxson approached Marcus.
He had not been standing with Anaya, who watched the whole
thing.
I always thought my gift was limited to
dancing, like it was with my mother. I was not so sure anymore. Was
I as guilty as her, bending people to my will, even to the point of
getting them in trouble?
“I get the picture. You think we are not so
different. Only I would not have asked if I knew the consequences.
If I knew what I was doing.”
She was silent again. She knew the seeds of
doubt and shame she had planted were already growing. Maybe that
was all she wanted, to make me feel as bad as I thought she was.
She was succeeding.
Jaxson returned with a platter and a huge
smile. Settling in front of me, he dropped down onto the bed and
crossed his legs. He playfully slapped my hand away when I reached
for the tray.
“What have you got there?” My interest was
piqued.
“Close your eyes and I will show you.”
I gave him a skeptical look.
“Close them,” he said authoritatively, then
smiled, clearly enjoying himself.
I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, and was
rewarded with the most decadent confection I had ever tasted. It
was creamy and cool, with a flavor unlike any I ever encountered
before.
I opened my eyes and his face was close to
mine. He was watching me, his lips puckered in a look of
satisfaction.
“No peeking.” He brushed his fingers across
my eyelids, ensuring I complied. His lips were soft at first,
brushing against mine. I leaned forward, expectant, but he pulled
away.
“Patience, Love.” His breath was warm on my
face, his scent sweet. It made me feel urgent rather than patient.
He gave me another treat. This time the flavor was far more
intense. I realized it was the same treat, only now, I was tasting
it under the influence of his kiss.
This time when he leaned in, I was rewarded
for my patience with a passionate kiss. He did not pull away when I
kissed him back.
Chapter
13
When I woke Jaxson was leaning over me,
looking fierce, like a wild animal. His eyes were wide and frantic.
Every inch of my skin prickled. My breath felt ragged in my chest.
I sucked in hard trying to relax myself, but it only came in
shallow gasps.
Did he know? Was I talking in
me.
It was so stupid of me to do what I had done,
but now I wondered if it mattered. If Anaya had chosen me, I never
had a chance. Why did she choose me?
Suddenly the memory shifted and we were in
the market.
It was a day like any other. People were
stopping at many of the street vendors. No money was required, but
there was often bartering for things you could not get from the
normal rations.
Devlin, a neighbor who lived just three
houses from mine, stopped at the butchers. “Marcus,” he said, in
good spirits.
“ Devlin, what can I get you?”
“ That ham would make a fine feast for my
daughter’s celebration. She has paired with Michael.”
“ Congratulations!” Marcus responded.
“Unfortunately that is for the God Queen. How about a
turkey?”
“ Of course, that would be lovely.”
The disappointment was clear on Devlin’s
face. We were not allowed to eat pork until we were past the age of
Choosing. It would have been quite a nice meal for the
celebration.
The memory did not end there. Moments later I
walked up to Marcus. I felt sick as my own memory of that day mixed
with Anaya’s.
I had met up with Devlin on the way in and he
expressed his disappointment. Not knowing the ham was for the
Halorans, I offered to barter with Marcus.
“ Marcus.” I leaned in close. “I know you
have had your eye on one of my blankets.”
“ You are very observant. My wife loves
your work,” he replied, hopeful.
“ I hear you have a ham?”
He paused for a moment. I smiled innocently
at him, hoping he would give in. He ran a hand through his hair. I
gave him a pleading, doe eyed look.
“ Oh, alright.” He heaved a heavy sigh, but
handed the ham over.
As I walked away, Jaxson approached Marcus.
He had not been standing with Anaya, who watched the whole
thing.
I always thought my gift was limited to
dancing, like it was with my mother. I was not so sure anymore. Was
I as guilty as her, bending people to my will, even to the point of
getting them in trouble?
“I get the picture. You think we are not so
different. Only I would not have asked if I knew the consequences.
If I knew what I was doing.”
She was silent again. She knew the seeds of
doubt and shame she had planted were already growing. Maybe that
was all she wanted, to make me feel as bad as I thought she was.
She was succeeding.
Jaxson returned with a platter and a huge
smile. Settling in front of me, he dropped down onto the bed and
crossed his legs. He playfully slapped my hand away when I reached
for the tray.
“What have you got there?” My interest was
piqued.
“Close your eyes and I will show you.”
I gave him a skeptical look.
“Close them,” he said authoritatively, then
smiled, clearly enjoying himself.
I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, and was
rewarded with the most decadent confection I had ever tasted. It
was creamy and cool, with a flavor unlike any I ever encountered
before.
I opened my eyes and his face was close to
mine. He was watching me, his lips puckered in a look of
satisfaction.
“No peeking.” He brushed his fingers across
my eyelids, ensuring I complied. His lips were soft at first,
brushing against mine. I leaned forward, expectant, but he pulled
away.
“Patience, Love.” His breath was warm on my
face, his scent sweet. It made me feel urgent rather than patient.
He gave me another treat. This time the flavor was far more
intense. I realized it was the same treat, only now, I was tasting
it under the influence of his kiss.
This time when he leaned in, I was rewarded
for my patience with a passionate kiss. He did not pull away when I
kissed him back.
Chapter
13
When I woke Jaxson was leaning over me,
looking fierce, like a wild animal. His eyes were wide and frantic.
Every inch of my skin prickled. My breath felt ragged in my chest.
I sucked in hard trying to relax myself, but it only came in
shallow gasps.
Did he know? Was I talking in
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