my sleep
again?
Suddenly I could not draw a breath, not even
a shallow one. My chest felt tight, like it was about to explode. I
coughed, then gagged.
Jaxson leaned over me and his expression was
more frightening than before. He looked desperate, fearful. I tried
to sit up, but I could only move my arms, and even they felt
stiff.
Pain rocked through my chest, shaking and
rattling me to my bones. Jaxson knowing my secret was no longer my
biggest fear. I reached for him and clutched his arm.
“I think I am dying, Jaxson.”
He held my arms, and now he only looked
frightened.
“I do not want to die.” Tears spilled down my
face involuntarily. My breath was more shallow than before; it was
hard to draw it all.
“You know there is a way to save you,” Jaxson
said, quietly and looked away.
“I do not want it that way. Please, Jaxson,
you have to save me. You have to find another way.” I did not know
why I said it. I just knew what he offered horrified me, and I did
not want it.
The light in his eyes dimmed, the concern
faded. He seemed far away, almost vacant looking.
“I will find a way to save you. Hold on,
Reka.” His voice sounded hollow, like his words were automatic. A
ripple of fear and excitement rushed over me. He said my name, not
hers. It was then that I realized it was not dying I feared. What I
was afraid of was losing him, but I did not want it to be like
this. I did not want him powerless to resist. I was not like Anaya.
Was I?
Everything felt hazy. I felt arms tightening
around me as I struggled. It had only been a dream. I did not wake
up screaming; it was more of a whimper. My heart was pounding from
the images of Anaya’s memory, almost the same, but the slight
change made such a dramatic difference.
“It was a bad one?” he asked, his voice
barely a whisper, but it startled me. I nodded and tried not to
cry. Did he only care about me because I forced him to? The thought
was suffocating.
I stood up and moved to the end of the bed,
hitting the wall to open the secret room. I needed air and earth.
It was not real, but it was as close as I would ever get.
“Love?”
His concern did nothing to loosen the hands
around my neck. The wall slid up and I rushed inside. The darkness
and crisp air relaxed me a little. I pushed through the trees and
their feather branches caressed me. They felt like whispers,
comforting, saying ‘You will be okay. It was just a dream.’
I broke through and found the pond waiting
for me like a friend. I waded out into the water and sat. The cool
water soothed my feverish skin.
The soft lapping against the tiny bank drew
my focus. I shut out everything else but the sound and the tickle
of fish as they brushed my skin. My heartbeat slowed and my breath
shallowed.
The moment he stepped into the water, I felt
the pull. It was a fraction of what I felt in the Living Waters,
but I still ached with the need to be near Jaxson, to belong.
“Love?” He took a cautious step closer. “Can
I come out there?”
I nodded, but did not face him. I could not
look at him and wonder if it was just a trick of nature that
allowed me to force his adoration. There was no denying how much I
needed him near though.
With each step, the ache and fear ebbed,
replaced by the sense of oneness I could have never imagined
possible before I was Chosen. He was hesitant as he stood behind
me. I reached back to touch him and he responded by sitting down,
his legs on either side of mine. He pressed his chest against my
back, wrapping his arms around me, holding me tight.
“What is it, Love?”
I shook my head.
“Please tell me. I cannot help if you do not
let me in.” His voice was pained.
I had to tell him something to ease his mind,
so I lied.
“It is just her,” I said, tapping my
head.
“Tell me what I can do.”
“Nothing, she is just sad. It is Reka’s
birthday in a few days. It is the first one she will not be
spending with her family. The first is the hardest. She will
again?
Suddenly I could not draw a breath, not even
a shallow one. My chest felt tight, like it was about to explode. I
coughed, then gagged.
Jaxson leaned over me and his expression was
more frightening than before. He looked desperate, fearful. I tried
to sit up, but I could only move my arms, and even they felt
stiff.
Pain rocked through my chest, shaking and
rattling me to my bones. Jaxson knowing my secret was no longer my
biggest fear. I reached for him and clutched his arm.
“I think I am dying, Jaxson.”
He held my arms, and now he only looked
frightened.
“I do not want to die.” Tears spilled down my
face involuntarily. My breath was more shallow than before; it was
hard to draw it all.
“You know there is a way to save you,” Jaxson
said, quietly and looked away.
“I do not want it that way. Please, Jaxson,
you have to save me. You have to find another way.” I did not know
why I said it. I just knew what he offered horrified me, and I did
not want it.
The light in his eyes dimmed, the concern
faded. He seemed far away, almost vacant looking.
“I will find a way to save you. Hold on,
Reka.” His voice sounded hollow, like his words were automatic. A
ripple of fear and excitement rushed over me. He said my name, not
hers. It was then that I realized it was not dying I feared. What I
was afraid of was losing him, but I did not want it to be like
this. I did not want him powerless to resist. I was not like Anaya.
Was I?
Everything felt hazy. I felt arms tightening
around me as I struggled. It had only been a dream. I did not wake
up screaming; it was more of a whimper. My heart was pounding from
the images of Anaya’s memory, almost the same, but the slight
change made such a dramatic difference.
“It was a bad one?” he asked, his voice
barely a whisper, but it startled me. I nodded and tried not to
cry. Did he only care about me because I forced him to? The thought
was suffocating.
I stood up and moved to the end of the bed,
hitting the wall to open the secret room. I needed air and earth.
It was not real, but it was as close as I would ever get.
“Love?”
His concern did nothing to loosen the hands
around my neck. The wall slid up and I rushed inside. The darkness
and crisp air relaxed me a little. I pushed through the trees and
their feather branches caressed me. They felt like whispers,
comforting, saying ‘You will be okay. It was just a dream.’
I broke through and found the pond waiting
for me like a friend. I waded out into the water and sat. The cool
water soothed my feverish skin.
The soft lapping against the tiny bank drew
my focus. I shut out everything else but the sound and the tickle
of fish as they brushed my skin. My heartbeat slowed and my breath
shallowed.
The moment he stepped into the water, I felt
the pull. It was a fraction of what I felt in the Living Waters,
but I still ached with the need to be near Jaxson, to belong.
“Love?” He took a cautious step closer. “Can
I come out there?”
I nodded, but did not face him. I could not
look at him and wonder if it was just a trick of nature that
allowed me to force his adoration. There was no denying how much I
needed him near though.
With each step, the ache and fear ebbed,
replaced by the sense of oneness I could have never imagined
possible before I was Chosen. He was hesitant as he stood behind
me. I reached back to touch him and he responded by sitting down,
his legs on either side of mine. He pressed his chest against my
back, wrapping his arms around me, holding me tight.
“What is it, Love?”
I shook my head.
“Please tell me. I cannot help if you do not
let me in.” His voice was pained.
I had to tell him something to ease his mind,
so I lied.
“It is just her,” I said, tapping my
head.
“Tell me what I can do.”
“Nothing, she is just sad. It is Reka’s
birthday in a few days. It is the first one she will not be
spending with her family. The first is the hardest. She will
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