Cheaters Anonymous by Lacey Silks

you everything that I want when I’m a hypocrite who can’t even live up to the rules of his own business?”
    Then it dawned on me. He’d used this place for himself.
    “Do you want to ask me how many women I’ve fucked here?”
    Feeling the pressure build behind my eyes, I shook my head.
    “A lot, Jules. Do you want to ask me how many times I’ve fucked the same woman twice?”
    I shook my head again.
    “None. Because I’ve never wanted to. I never felt the desire to – until you came back to my life. So if this is something you can deal with, I really want to make us work. But if it’s too much, I will understand. It’s better to get out of this now than later.”
    I would be a hypocrite if I pushed him away. I’d been looking for that feeling of bliss for years, screwing everyone on the way to finding it, and almost dying. Besides, Scar wasn’t the only one holding onto dark secrets.
    “You’ve never cheated in your life, have you?”
    “No, but...”
    “There’s no buts, Scar. I know you. I understand your fear because I’ve lived with it most of my life. If you’re trying to push me away, it’s a little too late for that. I’m not going to run. I should have given you the time you asked. I’m sorry.”
    “You’re one of the most intelligent women I’ve ever known. If there’s anyone who can understand me, it’s you. If I could, I’d jump in feet first just so that I could have you in my arms every night. But I won’t do it until this is gone.”
    “Gone?”
    “We’d add an additional floor above the club for another stage. The upstairs would be used for the male dancers, and the main floor for the female ones. And I want this basement to be one where couples can enjoy an evening, together or separately, yet still be close to each other. Everything you see here would become an adventure for committed couples. We’d add that extra spice to their lives, make their fantasies come true, ignite that spark they’ve lost into a flame that will never stop glowing.”
    The same thing my Cheaters Anonymous group had done for me over the past year.
    My breath hitched in my lungs. “You’re turning this place around.”
    “There just comes a time in your life when you need to make a change, and I think that time for me is now. It’s just a bit complicated to actually get the project off the ground.”
    “Do you need money? Because I could help.”
    “No, it’s not about money, Jules. It’s much more complicated. It will take time, but I’ll figure it out.”
    “You’ve never used your father’s money, have you?”
    “No. In high school, besides selling the weed, I was part of a fight club. I got paid to be in a ring with brutal men.”
    “Your scars...” I gasped.
    “Yeah, they’re a lifetime reminder of what it’s like to get cut with a knife.”
    “Why would you choose to go through this?”
    “Don’t feel sorry for me. If I were smarter, I wouldn’t have been an asshole to Mom. I would have accepted my father’s infidelity, and maybe the therapy would have helped a bit sooner. But I will never regret turning Father in. It made the family better. Maybe it’s too late for me. Perhaps I lost the chance I had with you six years ago. But I wasn’t ready then. I had to be on my own – except I think I realized I was afraid to be with the right person.”
    Was I that person?
    “I know it’s a lot to take in, Jules, and I don’t want your answer right now. Think about it. It won’t be easy for me to let go of this. It was part of my lifestyle, but when I think about a future, I don’t want a different woman in my bed every night. I want what’s familiar. I am nothing close to perfect, but I want to be the man that’s perfect for you.”
    Scar was right. This was way more than I expected. He had held onto his beliefs in infidelity and turned it into a business. But he wanted to change the same way I had. Unfortunately, that change wasn’t always as easy as we wanted it