Charm School by Anne Fine

heard the splash when she fell headfirst in the water bucket Bonny and Araminta had, giggling merrily, put underneath the trap door earlier.

    Serena came up dripping just in time to hear the impostor sheep singing two new last lines to her song.
    ‘
And to maidens the world over the sad news this sheep will tell
–
    How she’s gone to join her earrings at the bottom of the well!
’
    Everyone cheered. Some of them, it must be admitted, were just delighted because Serena looked so terrible, with ringlets like rats’ tails and eyes smudged as black as coal holes. But all the others had very much enjoyed the song, with the excitement of the sheep creeping closer to Serena, the
flash!
and
bang!
, and the ungainly tumble down the well.
    ‘Well done, Serena!’
    ‘That was brilliant!’
    Serena made a parting in her dripping hair, so she could peer out. Everyone was laughing and clapping. She stood a moment, wondering whether to giggle or cry. And then, deciding it would be a whole lot smarter to make the best of things, she spread her hands modestly.
    ‘I just thought you’d all like something a little different,’ she said. ‘And it was
fun
.’
    Everyone looked at Mrs Opalene, to see what she made of this change of plan. But, though she looked rather dubious, and anyone could tell she wasn’t very much at ease with Serena’s tangled wet hair and ruined make-up, she was still Mrs Opalene, and couldn’t help saying something nice.
    ‘Very—’ She hesitated. ‘Very
authentic
, dear!’
    Not knowing what authentic meant, Serena took it for a compliment, and smiled very prettily all the way back down the stairs to her seat.
    Araminta waved frantically at Bonny and pointed to the microphone.
    Bonny switched to SOUND IN.
    ‘You were right!’ Araminta whispered excitedly. ‘Mrs Opalene is
enjoying
it. She
did
want a change.’
    She didn’t have time to say more because Mrs Opalene was already calling, ‘Next!’
    Esmeralda was next. Smoothing her slinky green skirt, she took her place on the stage. In her bright yellow top, with matching petal hat, she looked exactly as she’d planned, like a willowy spring flower. Bonny flicked switches till the stage took on a sunlit hue. She wound down the backdrop Esmeralda wanted – another country scene – and dropped special effects sheets into the slots of the lanterns. Across the stage appeared a sprinkling of yellow dots, like a rash of spring flowers. And spinning across the painted blue sky were a host of puffy white clouds.
    ‘
The Buttercup Song
,’ declared Esmeralda. Waving her body from side to side, she started off.
    ‘
Gentle country breezes
    Sway me to and fro
,
    Kiss me and caress me
,
    And make me lovely grow
.’
    In the control room, Bonny switched on a tape of sounds labelled ‘Weather’. And, in the wings, Araminta turned the knob of Maura’s wind machine on to BREEZE .
    On the stage, Esmeralda’s petal hat lifted and fluttered prettily. But on she sang.
    ‘
Lovely winds of heaven
    Raise my petals high
    To keep me ever busy
    Worshipping the sky
.’
    Bonny forwarded the weather tape on to ‘Very windy’, and Araminta turned the wind machine up a notch to match. Esmeralda looked startled as her petals flapped violently. Clutching the rim of her hat, she raised her voice above the gathering sound and embarked on her third verse.
    ‘
Fearful storms of winter
    Shall not come my way
.
    Safe and warm I stand here
    On this mild spring day
.’
    Araminta winked at Bonny through a gap in the side drapes and both of them, giggling, turned up to STORM . One by one, all of Esmeralda’s petals tore from her hat and flew off into the wings. Esmeralda was horrified. But Mrs Opalene was still staring kindly, if a little bemusedly, in her direction. And one of the things she always said over and over was, ‘The worst thing you can do on stage is stop. Whatever happens, dears, press on. Press on!’

    So, bravely gripping the last remaining shreds of hat