Sorrow gripped her throat for a moment before she banished it, sped up, and scooped John up into her arms. “I got you!” she cried, tickling him and laughing just as hard as he was.
******
Robert was awake when Carrie entered the room, but a quick look at his face had her heart sinking. The joy from her fun with John vanished as she gazed at her husband. His eyes were clear of fever, but they were dull with apathy.
She knew his nights had become a long series of nightmares and flashbacks. She still wasn’t sharing a bed with him, but her cot against the wall swept her into his world of horrible memories. Every time he had a nightmare she would sit on the side of the bed and rub his arm or hold his hand until the worst of it passed. Most times he didn’t wake up. When he did, he very seldom knew who she was. He would just stare at her with terrified confusion until he finally closed his eyes again and drifted off to sleep.
He was stronger physically, but the apathy seemed to suck him in a little more each day. The fever that had burned his body seemed to have dipped into the recesses of his soul and left nothing but dead embers. She had told him nothing of what was going on in the country, but it was as if he knew and decided to distance himself from everything and everyone.
“Hello, dear,” she said softly.
Robert gazed up at her but didn’t speak.
Carrie’s heart sank further. She was sure he knew who she was, but there was nothing she could say that pierced the veil of indifference. His brief period of clarity and communication that gave her so much hope had vanished. She knew the nightmares and memories were destroying her husband’s soul, just as surely as the war almost destroyed his body. She gritted her teeth but kept her voice calm and loving. “I brought you some lunch.”
Robert nodded. His willingness to eat was the only thing giving her hope that the man she loved would claw his way back from the darkness. There had to be some part of him that wanted to live, or he would have simply quit eating. Or maybe he was just aware enough not to want to cause her more pain. Whatever it was, she was simply glad he was still eating.
Carrie was grateful for the warm spring air blowing in through the window, billowing the white curtains and causing sunlight to dance on his soft blue bedcover. She insisted on plenty of fresh air. “It’s a beautiful day,” she said brightly. “The garden is coming along very nicely. I picked a huge basket of vegetables right before I came up.”
Robert gave no indication he had heard her.
Carrie kept on, determined not to let his apathy numb her into non-communication. “I heard from Janie this morning as well. A brief telegram came with the message that she and Clifford made it back to Raleigh safely.” She said nothing about her fears for Janie’s safety. She knew he didn’t have the energy to care, and she didn’t want to introduce more trouble into his already burdened heart.
“I’m picking up Aunt Abby at the train station in just a little while,” she continued, surprised when his eyes flashed a spark of interest and his head turned toward her. “Would you like her to come up and see you?”
Robert stared at her for a long moment and nodded his head once. “She has good eyes,” he said quietly.
“Yes,” Carrie agreed. “She’s told me more than once how much she would like to spend time with you. I’ll have her come up when she gets here.”
Robert nodded again but then closed his eyes and turned his head away.
Carrie stifled a sigh, picked up the bowl of soup, tucked the blankets around him securely, and kissed him on the forehead. She stood over him for long minutes, wondering if she would ever have her husband back, or if he was just going to waste away for months and then die like her mother had. Blinking back tears, she banished the thoughts from her head. Robert will get well!
Before she left the room, she moved to the window and
******
Robert was awake when Carrie entered the room, but a quick look at his face had her heart sinking. The joy from her fun with John vanished as she gazed at her husband. His eyes were clear of fever, but they were dull with apathy.
She knew his nights had become a long series of nightmares and flashbacks. She still wasn’t sharing a bed with him, but her cot against the wall swept her into his world of horrible memories. Every time he had a nightmare she would sit on the side of the bed and rub his arm or hold his hand until the worst of it passed. Most times he didn’t wake up. When he did, he very seldom knew who she was. He would just stare at her with terrified confusion until he finally closed his eyes again and drifted off to sleep.
He was stronger physically, but the apathy seemed to suck him in a little more each day. The fever that had burned his body seemed to have dipped into the recesses of his soul and left nothing but dead embers. She had told him nothing of what was going on in the country, but it was as if he knew and decided to distance himself from everything and everyone.
“Hello, dear,” she said softly.
Robert gazed up at her but didn’t speak.
Carrie’s heart sank further. She was sure he knew who she was, but there was nothing she could say that pierced the veil of indifference. His brief period of clarity and communication that gave her so much hope had vanished. She knew the nightmares and memories were destroying her husband’s soul, just as surely as the war almost destroyed his body. She gritted her teeth but kept her voice calm and loving. “I brought you some lunch.”
Robert nodded. His willingness to eat was the only thing giving her hope that the man she loved would claw his way back from the darkness. There had to be some part of him that wanted to live, or he would have simply quit eating. Or maybe he was just aware enough not to want to cause her more pain. Whatever it was, she was simply glad he was still eating.
Carrie was grateful for the warm spring air blowing in through the window, billowing the white curtains and causing sunlight to dance on his soft blue bedcover. She insisted on plenty of fresh air. “It’s a beautiful day,” she said brightly. “The garden is coming along very nicely. I picked a huge basket of vegetables right before I came up.”
Robert gave no indication he had heard her.
Carrie kept on, determined not to let his apathy numb her into non-communication. “I heard from Janie this morning as well. A brief telegram came with the message that she and Clifford made it back to Raleigh safely.” She said nothing about her fears for Janie’s safety. She knew he didn’t have the energy to care, and she didn’t want to introduce more trouble into his already burdened heart.
“I’m picking up Aunt Abby at the train station in just a little while,” she continued, surprised when his eyes flashed a spark of interest and his head turned toward her. “Would you like her to come up and see you?”
Robert stared at her for a long moment and nodded his head once. “She has good eyes,” he said quietly.
“Yes,” Carrie agreed. “She’s told me more than once how much she would like to spend time with you. I’ll have her come up when she gets here.”
Robert nodded again but then closed his eyes and turned his head away.
Carrie stifled a sigh, picked up the bowl of soup, tucked the blankets around him securely, and kissed him on the forehead. She stood over him for long minutes, wondering if she would ever have her husband back, or if he was just going to waste away for months and then die like her mother had. Blinking back tears, she banished the thoughts from her head. Robert will get well!
Before she left the room, she moved to the window and
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