Carolina Heart by Virginia Kantra

change.”
    *   *   *
    “WHEN I was fifteen, I used to imagine you in my bed,” Max said much later. They lay as close as spoons, her smooth bare legs entwined with his, her hair across his pillow, his hand resting possessively on her hip. The sweet, heavy curve of her ass nestled warm against him.
    Her head moved against his arm. He thought she was smiling. “Only when you were fifteen?”
    He grinned. “Recently, too.”
    “And what did we do? In your imagination.” Her warm, teasing tone set fire to his brain.
    “Everything,” he admitted. “Every raw, dirty, secret fantasy I could think of.”
    “Sounds good to me,” she said. Definitely smiling. He could hear it in her voice.
    Happiness pooled inside him. “The reality is better.” He kissed the top of her head. “Thanks for coming over.”
    She snuggled deeper into his heat. “What are friends for?”
    Something rippled across his contentment like a disturbance on the surface of a pond. He could almost see the posted warning sign: DANGER. DEEP WATER HERE . He waded ahead anyway. “Is that what you’d call us? Friends?”
    “I think so. The new, improved version maybe. You know, like the commercials?” She intoned in a fake announcer’s voice, “Still friends. Now with benefits.”
    He didn’t laugh. “And that’s what you want.”
    She lay very still. “What I want doesn’t matter. It’s what I can have.”
    He pushed down his own disappointment, trying to read her body’s cues, wishing he could see her face. He’d been inside her. He was good at observing detail, at drawing conclusions from the available evidence. But he didn’t have a clue what she was thinking right now. “Forget what you can have. Tell me how you feel.”
    She caught his hand and pressed it to her breast, trying to recapture their earlier playfulness. “Very friendly.”
    Her breast was soft and heavy in his hand, the nipple a tight knot against his palm. But he would not be distracted.
    “Cynthie.” Gently, he turned her in the circle of his arms, waiting patiently until her gaze lifted to his. “I’m falling in love with you.”
    A quiver ran through her. “Don’t. You’re not. I’m just . . . I was your high school crush. Guys always have a thing for their high school crush.”
    He kept his eyes steady on hers. He was hurt. Part of him wanted to retreat behind the wall of his family’s well-bred politeness. But he couldn’t let her dismiss his feelings for her as the by-product of teenage hormones. “You can tell me what you want. What you’re afraid of. But you can’t tell me how I feel.”
    The quiver spread to her lips. “I can’t tell you anything. I don’t know what to say.”
    “Say yes. It’s time for the next step. I don’t want to wait until your car battery dies or I get food poisoning to sleep with you again.” He waited for her response. When she didn’t say anything, he kissed her forehead. She smelled so good, sweet and spicy, like cloves and sex. Like Cynthie. “I don’t want to be the friend you have sex with sometimes. I want to be your . . . ” His mind considered and discarded terms.
Boyfriend? Lover?
Neither one was big enough for his emotions. “I want us to have a regular relationship,” he said finally. “Like any two rational, healthy adults who could have a future together.”
    “It’s not only our future. I have to think about the girls,” she said.
    It wasn’t just the girls, he thought. Something else was holding her back. But how could he reassure her fears when he didn’t understand them?
    He thought of pointing out to her that he could make all their lives easier. He had money. He was more than willing to spend it on her daughters. But she didn’t need him to rescue them. She didn’t need him at all.
    “We can go as slow as you want. As slow as they need,” he said. “But I’m ready to be part of your life. And I want you to be part of mine.”

E IGHT

    “I DON’T GET it,” Meg