Captains Outrageous

Captains Outrageous by Joe R. Lansdale

Book: Captains Outrageous by Joe R. Lansdale Read Free Book Online
Authors: Joe R. Lansdale
Ads: Link
that you’ve had what you need, have taken advantage of a poor peasant girl—”
    “Hah.”
    “—I don’t think we want to stay here.”
    “Very good. But that isn’t exactly a plan. How’re you feeling?”
    “Like I’ve been wiped, flushed, and I’m on my way out to sea. I’m bored enough to collect farts and name them, yet I don’t feel like I could do much. I’m lucky I had good stomach muscles, or I’d be dead.”
    “You’re lucky he had a short knife,” I said. “Your stomach muscles aren’t that good.”
    “And yours aren’t good at all.”
    “What I have are table muscles. They’re more subtle. Look, I’ll see if Beatrice will take us into town. Maybe we can make a phone call there.”
    “How would we get out of here? Get back to the U.S. Pontoon boat?”
    “I haven’t a clue. Question is, are you up to it?”
    Leonard tried to rise, said, “You know what? I’m not up to it.”
    “Then we better not arrange a way out yet. You don’t need to travel, you feel that bad.”
    “You don’t hear me fighting with you.”
    “Then you are hurt,” I said. “I’ve never known you to give in to me that easy.”
    “You got a point, bucko.”
    “Lie down. I’ll see I can rustle you up some breakfast.”
    I left out of there, discovered Beatrice was up and moving toward the kitchen. I followed. She smiled at me.
    “Last night was very good,” she said.
    “Yes it was.”
    “It meant something to me, but I do not want you to think it meant everything. Do you understand?”
    “I do.”
    “Good. Are you hungry?”
    “I am. And so is Leonard.”
    “How is he?”
    “Better, but not up to snuff. I know you want us to leave out, Beatrice. And we will. But maybe another day or two for Leonard to rest.”
    Suddenly she became very hard. “One more day. No more than that.”
    “Fine,” I said. “One more day.”
    She put some grounds in a pot and started coffee. It was so dark and rich with aroma it made my nose hairs quiver. I had a feeling it wasn’t decaf. She located some more bread and cheese and took it to Leonard. We sat in the room with him and ate the same. Beatrice brought us cups of coffee. After two cups I felt as if I had been blackjacked and ass-kicked.
    In spite of the food and coffee, Leonard drifted back to sleep. Beatrice smiled at me. She wiggled her finger for me to come, stood up, and went out of the room.
    We went back to her bedroom and went to bed. We made love one more time. I was lucky she wasn’t like Brett. I wouldn’t have had enough rubbers.
    At least it had been that way for a while.
    After we lay together for a while, Beatrice led me out on the back porch and showed me how a shower was set up there with a pull chain. The water was in a big tin reservoir. It was put there by the rain and sometimes brought in from outside, but there was only so much water, she said, so we showered together. Which wasn’t something I considered a drawback.
    As I soaped her up in the pink morning light her breasts, damp with the water from the homemade shower, were dark and slick under my touch, and the thick nipples were tantalizing. I liked the way the soap foamed over them and the way the water plastered her hair to her head, which in the light of day I could see held streaks of gray. I liked the way the water beaded in her pubic hair. Her eyes were deep and dark, her face was full of an expression that showed me there was plenty to like and a lot that was hard to understand. She was a real mystery. I liked that. I liked it so much I kissed her.
    *    *    *
    About two that afternoon I helped Leonard make it out to the outdoor convenience, stood by outside while he finished, trying to stand far enough away I didn’t have to hear the usual bathroom sounds.
    “It’s great to have a valet,” Leonard called through the toilet walls.
    “Yeah, well, just don’t ask me to wipe your ass for you.”
    “Hap?”
    “What?”
    “There’s a Mexican catalogue in

Similar Books

Reckless Moon

Doreen Owens Malek

Riley

Liliana Hart

The Protector

Dawn Marie Snyder

The Shadow

Neil M. Gunn

Healed by Hope

Jim Melvin