Captains Outrageous

Captains Outrageous by Joe R. Lansdale Page B

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Authors: Joe R. Lansdale
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loan me some, a little from Marvin—”
    “—Marvin’s in a fuckin’ wheelchair. What’s he gonna do? Run a little soapbox derby for extra bucks?”
    “You know my deal. I’m actually good for it for once. And besides, even when I’m not good for it, I pay it back, don’t I?”
    Charlie sighed. “I can ask.”
    “Brett might loan you a little for me. Between the three of you, you might could scrape it up. Shit, man. A thousand would probably do it, we had to. Oh, and John, of course. He’s probably got the whole thing.”
    “Why didn’t you call him?”
    “I did. He wasn’t home.”
    “So I was second choice?”
    “Pretty much.”
    “Look. I’ll see what I can do. Give me John’s phone number.”
    I gave it to him.
    “You know Brett’s?”
    “I do.”
    “I wouldn’t count on much there. I’m just being wistful. John’s probably the best bet.”
    “All right. Who else?”
    “I think that’s about all the people who like me. And some of them are a mixed bag. There’s a lawyer friend named Veil, but I have no idea where he is these days. And besides, I’m not sure he and Leonard truly like one another.”
    “I know Veil,” Charlie said.
    “You do?” I said.
    “Everyone knows Veil. You got a number I can call you?”
    “No. The lady we’re staying with doesn’t have a phone.”
    “She the one you’re doing the hole punch with?”
    “That’s an indelicate way of putting it. But yes. We’ll only be there today, though. Tomorrow, we have to head out.”
    “Didn’t turn out so good, huh? Bad in the sack?”
    “She was fine.”
    “Hell, I meant you.”
    “I was quite good, actually. She told me so.”
    “Now there’s something you can depend on.”
    “Charlie, I don’t know where to wire the money. I guess what I’ll do is call you back tomorrow, see if you could raise it, then I’ll let you know where to send it. I get the money I can book a plane flight.”
    “Haven’t you got a credit card?”
    “I do. But it’s one of those that has a low credit limit.”
    “A kiddie card.”
    “Pretty much. Something like three hundred dollars. I might even have enough with that and my cash and Leonard’s to put together two plane flights, but if we need to eat, anything goes wrong, well, we’d be screwed. Besides, I need to slip these people a little something. They didn’t ask, but the old man literally saved our lives. He patched Leonard up good and just in time. Without him and the antibiotics his daughter gave us, Leonard might be deceased.”
    “All right, Hap. Give me a call tomorrow.”
    “Done deal,” I said.
    I went back to the café and joined Beatrice for coffee. The coffee was rich and black and almost took my breath away. Same as Beatrice’s eyes.
    “When does your father come in?”
    “Usually midday. And then he goes back. He used to stay on the boat all day. But now he fishes very early, comes back, goes out again late. He does not go too far. He does not have to. He seems to know where the fish are. This is one of the places he sells the fish to, this café. Perhaps the fish we ate is one he caught.”
    “Doesn’t it bother you to eat a fish you know personally?”
    “Not at all.”
    “That seems inconsiderate.”
    “Fuck the fish,” she said.
    She saw me glancing at her little finger, the one with the tip missing.
    “You wonder what happened?”
    “Yeah. I guess so.”
    “Fishing line. A shark was caught. He jerked, the line tangled. It took off the tip of my finger.”
    “I didn’t mean to stare.”
    “It is all right.”
    We wandered around Playa del Carmen, looking at the tourist shops. Actually, after one shop I was pretty much worn out. The rest were the same ol’ same ol’, but I put up with it because Beatrice seemed to think she was showing me a good time.
    She suggested a ferry over to Cozumel, but I wanted to be available when her father showed and I didn’t want to give those cops the chance to see me again. I told her so.
    “Of

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