But Enough About You: Essays

But Enough About You: Essays by Christopher Buckley Page B

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tea-starved public. Subsequently struck a deal with the East India Company to supply (that is, smuggle) nonsalty tea to Massachusetts. His string of tea shops prospered, but scholars argue that he made a mistake calling them “Gileads” instead of some other catchier name.
    — Forbes Magazine , October 2007

WE REGRET THE ERROR
    An article in the September issue incorrectly identified the president of the United States. The current president is George W. Bush, not Harry S Truman.
    An article in the March issue about private whale hunts incorrectly identified the costs associated with the trips. The price for harpooning a sperm whale is $3,500, not $3,600. Taxidermy costs for stuffing and mounting a whale amount to $18,000, not $1,800. The cost of shipping the mounted whale by Federal Express was also incorrect. The actual cost is “a staggering” sum, not “a bunch.”
    The cover article in the July issue, “Now Is the Time to Load Up on Tech Stocks,” incorrectly stated the actual right time. The time to buy tech stocks was July 1999, not July 2001.
    A caption in the September issue incorrectly identified a man shown entering a Manhattan adult XXX peep show. It should have read, “Adult XXX peep shows have been popular among New York men since the 1680s,” not “Commercial real estate broker Roscoe F. Farnsbiddle of 138 Irving Road, Pelham Manor, often spends his lunch hour at peep shows instead of the Yale Club.”
    An article on the new GE chairman, Jeffrey Immelt, incorrectly stated that he likes to relax by watching videos of prison electrocutions. He relaxes by reading biographies and histories, and hiking with his family.
    An article in the October issue, “Fatal Shark Attacks Surge in Lake Michigan,” inadvertently gave the impression that there have been fatal shark attacks in Lake Michigan. According to the Lake Michigan Shark Attack Prevention Center, there have been no fatal shark attacks in Lake Michigan thus far this year. Last year, there were also none.
    An article in the April issue, “Do-It-Yourself Plastic Surgery,” incorrectly represented the views of the American Association of Plastic Surgeons. It does not endorse do-it-yourself plastic surgery.
    An article in the June-July issue, “How the South Won the War,” misrepresented the events at the Appomattox Courthouse in April 1865. It was General Lee who surrendered to General Grant, not the other way around.
    An editing error in an article on the newly opened Hotel Wakami on the Hawaiian island of Molokai gave the false impression that there had been an outbreak of leprosy among the kitchen staff. The sentence should have read, “The kitchen specializes in fresh fish baked in parsley.”
    Due to a computer error, the July issue was published in Tagalog. An English version is being prepared for publication.
    An article in the August issue, “Prince Charles Deposes His Mother in Bloody Overnight Palace Coup as Prince Philip Flees into Exile,” contained several factual errors.
    1) The correct term of address for Camilla Parker-Bowles, KingCharles III’s consort, is “Your Royal Consortship,” and thereafter, “Chooks,” not “Ducky.”
    2) The midnight assault on Buckingham Palace by the Coldstream Guards was led by Captain Sir Reginald Hogg-Blother, CMG, VC, KCMP, VSOP, not Col. Alistair Pimpington-Rumpworth, GCMG, ASAP.
    3) Under the terms of the abdication agreement, Queen Elizabeth may appear in public, but will not be allowed a handbag.
    An article in the November issue, “Polar Bear Attacks in Downtown Omaha Up 35 Percent,” contained an error. According to the National Polar Bear Attack Center, there have been no polar bear attacks in downtown Omaha since the late Eocene era.
    An article in the June issue, “Berkshire Hathaway Off 38,000 in One Day as Investors Flee,” mistakenly gave the impression that Berkshire Hathaway stockholders engaged in panic selling following a report that CEO Warren Buffett had been eaten by

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