Breathless by Cheryl Douglas

before
bringing them back up to meet his. “I can see that now.”
    “You can?” Eli
wanted to believe her, but not that long ago, he’d found her at
Jimmy’s drowning her sorrows over Brent’s impending marriage.
    “Yes.” She sat
down on the edge of the bed. “Sometimes we have to lose something
before we realize we can’t live without it.”
    Eli loosened
his tie and the top button of his shirt when he feared they were
cutting off his oxygen supply. Years he’d waited for that moment,
and it had finally come. He couldn’t believe it was real.
    “I can’t live
without you, E.” Her eyes flooded with tears when she looked at
him. “I don’t want to lose you.”
    He wanted to
say something, to tell her she’d had his heart forever and she
always would, but he couldn’t get the words out. He simply stood
there staring, waiting for her to continue talking, praying she was
finally ready to love him the way he needed her to.
    “You’ve been
the person I turned to for so long, I guess I took our relationship
for granted. I hate that I did that to you. I’m so ashamed of
myself for treating you that way.” Her voice broke when she asked,
“Can you forgive me?”
    His first
impulse was to drop to his knees and tell her he could forgive her
for almost anything. But he didn’t do that. “It killed me to watch
you fall in love with him,” Eli said when the silence was
deafening. “I hated you. I hated him. I hated my life.” Admitting
that was painful. He’d deserved better, and he needed to know that
she realized that before he could give her his heart again.
    “I’m sorry.”
She looked down at the sapphire and diamond ring Eli had given her
for her twenty-fifth birthday. “I’m so sorry.”
    The ring was
sparkly and expensive. He’d wanted to give her something that said
what he couldn’t: he loved her. “Why?” A thousand times he’d wanted
to ask her why she’d fallen in love with Brent when he’d been right
there, waiting for her to realize they belonged together. “Why did
you choose him?”
    “I guess I was
afraid,” she said quietly. “My parents got married right out of
high school. Neither one of them had ever dated anyone else.”
    “So? Is that so
terrible?” He sat beside her, reaching for her hand.
    “I thought so
at the time.” She sighed. “Come on, Eli. As teenagers, ending up
like our parents seems like a fate worse than death. It’s not until
we get older that we appreciate that kind of stability.”
    He couldn’t
argue with that. Jamie was a bit of a wild child. She’d wanted to
live in a big city, see her face splashed across glossy magazine
covers, and make her mark in the world. “Is that why you chose
Brent? You thought he could give you the glamorous lifestyle I
couldn’t?” Eli didn’t live like a pauper, most people considered
his life privileged, but he’d never aspired to Brent’s level of
wealth.
    “No, it was
never about that.” She let go of his hand and walked toward the
window. Pushing the sheers aside, she admired the bustling city.
“It had nothing to do with money or power. Brent represented the
unknown, and I guess that seemed exciting.”
    “And I
represented the same-old, same-old, huh?”
    “Please don’t
say it like that.” She faced him. “I was just a kid then. I made
mistakes.”
    “You’re not a
kid anymore. And neither am I.” He stared at her, knowing it was
their moment of truth. Either they moved forward together or apart.
“I can’t go on loving a woman who can’t be my everything.”
    “Your
everything?” she whispered. “What does that mean?”
    They hadn’t
dated for years. Even suggesting forever would seem ludicrous if he
hadn’t known her more than half his life. “I want you to be my best
friend, my lover…”
    “I already am
your best friend… I hope. And I do want to be your lover
again.”
    “That’s not
enough for me, sweetheart. I may have been satisfied with that
before, but I’m not that