her hands. ‘My whole life collapsed, Allie. Everything. I never told you how—how bad it was, but it was. Bad.’ She tried to smile wryly, but her lips trembled instead. ‘Really bad.’
‘Oh, Eleanor.’ Allie reached over to place a hand on top of hers. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘So am I. And that’s why this kiss—for whatever reason?was a bad idea. I’m not going to ever let myself feel that way again. Be used that way. And,’ Eleanor finished, her voice turning hard and flinty, ‘the simple fact is, I may have changed a lot in ten years, but Jace Zervas hasn’t.’ Not enough. Not in ways that mattered. She smiled grimly at her friend. ‘I don’t think he’s changed at all.’
Eleanor spent the night on Allie’s futon, and slept deeply and dreamlessly. By the time she swam to consciousness the next morning, the sun was high in the sky and Allie had already gone out for the coffee and croissants.
‘I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck,’ Eleanor muttered as she pushed her hair out of her face and blinked in the sunlight flooding the room. She hadn’t even washed her face before going to bed, and her eyes felt sticky both with sleep and dried mascara.
‘You basically were,’ Allie replied cheerfully. ‘The Jace Zervas Express.’ She handed Eleanor a paper cup of coffee and a flaky croissant. ‘Here. Sustenance.’
‘You’re amazing.’
Allie grinned. ‘I know.’
Eleanor sat cross-legged on the sofa and ate the buttery croissant, licking the crumbs from her fingers, before shestarted on her coffee. She hadn’t eaten much last night, as busy as she’d been with the details of the party, and she was starving.
Her cellphone beeped just as she took her first sip of coffee.
‘My boss,’ she explained when she’d located the phone and listened to Lily’s brief message. She sounded her usual terse self, and simply asked her to call, which made Eleanor feel a flutter of panic. Had Jace talked to Lily? Had the party
not
been a success after all?
Had that kiss changed everything?
She ended the message and dropped her cellphone back into her bag. Leaning back against the sofa she took a sip of coffee, determined to forget Lily, forget Jace, forget everything, if just for a day. It was Saturday; she was with Allie. And she needed a break. She turned to Allie, smiling with bright determination. ‘Let’s go out. Do something fun. Go to the Greenmarket in Union Square and buy funky jewellery at St Mark’s Place.’
‘Funky jewellery?’ Allie repeated, eyebrows arched. ‘When have you ever worn funky jewellery?’
Eleanor bit her lip, her smile wobbling just a little bit. She used to wear funky jewellery. She used to look and feel and
be
so different.
She simply wasn’t that person any more, and she didn’t think she ever could be again. After she’d lost both Jace and their baby, she’d ruthlessly gone about becoming someone else… the person she was now.
The kind of person you never wanted to be.
Shrugging away the sorrow this thought caused, she smiled once more at Allie. ‘Well, let’s go to a museum, then. The Met or the MOMA.’ She took her last sip of coffee, her voice taking on an edge. ‘You’re right, I’m really not a funky jewellery kind of person.’
Monday morning came soon enough, and as Eleanor walked through Premier Planning’s office she was uncomfortablyaware of the curious looks of everyone on the office floor, the sideways glances, the open speculation. Her skin prickled. What had happened? What had Jace done?
Then she stopped in the doorway of her office, for there in the centre of her desk was the most enormous, most outrageous bouquet of flowers she’d ever seen. She dropped her bag on the floor and approached the arrangement of creamy white lilies and small, violet blooms that a card tucked in among the leaves told her was glory-of-the-snow.
Snow.
Her heart constricted. A little envelope had been taped to the crystal vase, and Eleanor took it
‘Oh, Eleanor.’ Allie reached over to place a hand on top of hers. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘So am I. And that’s why this kiss—for whatever reason?was a bad idea. I’m not going to ever let myself feel that way again. Be used that way. And,’ Eleanor finished, her voice turning hard and flinty, ‘the simple fact is, I may have changed a lot in ten years, but Jace Zervas hasn’t.’ Not enough. Not in ways that mattered. She smiled grimly at her friend. ‘I don’t think he’s changed at all.’
Eleanor spent the night on Allie’s futon, and slept deeply and dreamlessly. By the time she swam to consciousness the next morning, the sun was high in the sky and Allie had already gone out for the coffee and croissants.
‘I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck,’ Eleanor muttered as she pushed her hair out of her face and blinked in the sunlight flooding the room. She hadn’t even washed her face before going to bed, and her eyes felt sticky both with sleep and dried mascara.
‘You basically were,’ Allie replied cheerfully. ‘The Jace Zervas Express.’ She handed Eleanor a paper cup of coffee and a flaky croissant. ‘Here. Sustenance.’
‘You’re amazing.’
Allie grinned. ‘I know.’
Eleanor sat cross-legged on the sofa and ate the buttery croissant, licking the crumbs from her fingers, before shestarted on her coffee. She hadn’t eaten much last night, as busy as she’d been with the details of the party, and she was starving.
Her cellphone beeped just as she took her first sip of coffee.
‘My boss,’ she explained when she’d located the phone and listened to Lily’s brief message. She sounded her usual terse self, and simply asked her to call, which made Eleanor feel a flutter of panic. Had Jace talked to Lily? Had the party
not
been a success after all?
Had that kiss changed everything?
She ended the message and dropped her cellphone back into her bag. Leaning back against the sofa she took a sip of coffee, determined to forget Lily, forget Jace, forget everything, if just for a day. It was Saturday; she was with Allie. And she needed a break. She turned to Allie, smiling with bright determination. ‘Let’s go out. Do something fun. Go to the Greenmarket in Union Square and buy funky jewellery at St Mark’s Place.’
‘Funky jewellery?’ Allie repeated, eyebrows arched. ‘When have you ever worn funky jewellery?’
Eleanor bit her lip, her smile wobbling just a little bit. She used to wear funky jewellery. She used to look and feel and
be
so different.
She simply wasn’t that person any more, and she didn’t think she ever could be again. After she’d lost both Jace and their baby, she’d ruthlessly gone about becoming someone else… the person she was now.
The kind of person you never wanted to be.
Shrugging away the sorrow this thought caused, she smiled once more at Allie. ‘Well, let’s go to a museum, then. The Met or the MOMA.’ She took her last sip of coffee, her voice taking on an edge. ‘You’re right, I’m really not a funky jewellery kind of person.’
Monday morning came soon enough, and as Eleanor walked through Premier Planning’s office she was uncomfortablyaware of the curious looks of everyone on the office floor, the sideways glances, the open speculation. Her skin prickled. What had happened? What had Jace done?
Then she stopped in the doorway of her office, for there in the centre of her desk was the most enormous, most outrageous bouquet of flowers she’d ever seen. She dropped her bag on the floor and approached the arrangement of creamy white lilies and small, violet blooms that a card tucked in among the leaves told her was glory-of-the-snow.
Snow.
Her heart constricted. A little envelope had been taped to the crystal vase, and Eleanor took it
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