you is completely out of my realm of experience. I’m not even sure if some of the stuff we’ve done has been a part of any of my fantasies and I know you haven’t even started on the heavy duty BDSM stuff.”
What if he couldn’t deal with her doubts? If she thought she’d been waist-high in insecurities before, that was way before she’d allowed him unbridled dominion over her body, a decision she didn’t regret, but couldn’t help but second guess. What if it was a turn off for him? What was his tolerance level for her questions?
He moved his hand from her face down to her waist and turned her towards him, so they were looking at each other, side by side.
“Look, we’ll go as slowly as you want. As slowly as you need. In return, I need something from you. If I do something that you try and you don’t take pleasure in, you have to let me know. When you didn’t use your safe word, I thought you liked the clamps. I would never have left them on if you harbored any doubt.”
He gently removed the clamps and placed the apparatus on the bedside table nearest to him before turning back to focus his gaze on her, his big hand returning to warm her waist while he propped himself up on his elbow.
“Promise me that, Calleigh,” he softly commanded.
“I promise,” she said. “And don’t misunderstand – I liked everything we did tonight. Everything you did. Every move you made.”
“You only liked it?” he questioned, raising one perfectly dark eyebrow in sardonic amusement.
She smiled.
“Great doesn’t begin to describe it.”
“I’m still not seeing the problem here, then.”
“Being here, like this, with you. What does it say about me?”
“It says that you’re a woman who enjoys sex. Really great, outstanding, amazing sex.”
“Sex where I’m restrained and you’re always in control.”
“And?”
“And it’s hard for me to reconcile that with the image I’ve always had of the man I would ultimately end up with and the woman I would be when with him.”
“You worried you’re not going to be able to restrain yourself and marry me?”
She rolled her eyes. How like this arrogant, smug, sexy man to assume she was already planning their wedding after only two nights together. Now, granted, that might have been an activity she may have previously engaged in with prior boyfriends, but not anymore. She knew she needed to spend more time with him in her life and determine if he was what she wanted.
“No, I’m not planning our march down the aisle. I just…never expected to have this kind of sex life.”
“Sweets, we haven’t even scratched the surface of our so-called sex life. All the stuff I mentioned to you last night? The different kinds of restraints? The positions? The toys? It’s all in front of us. Tonight was only a very basic, very benign introduction to our sexual future. Which seemed to fit you when you were coming all over me about twenty minutes ago. I’m still not understanding what exactly the holdup is here tonight. Unless it’s the image you have of yourself with the image of what you actually want.”
Trust him to drill down right to the heart of the matter.
“I was raised to be an independent woman, David.”
“What we did last night and tonight doesn’t change that. It doesn’t change anything about you, as a woman or otherwise, other than the fact that you enjoy submitting to me.”
“I’m not naturally submissive. I’ve never been quiet or compliant in pretty much any part of my life. I’m not sure why this is different with you.”
“Maybe I’m different. You ever consider that?”
“What if you’re not?” she worried. What if he was like every other guy who once close enough, realized she was comprised of nothing but doubt, and decided she wasn’t worth his time, for the short or long term?
“There’s only one way to find out. We spend time like other couples do, in and out of bed. If we work, we work. If we don’t, you’ll leave
What if he couldn’t deal with her doubts? If she thought she’d been waist-high in insecurities before, that was way before she’d allowed him unbridled dominion over her body, a decision she didn’t regret, but couldn’t help but second guess. What if it was a turn off for him? What was his tolerance level for her questions?
He moved his hand from her face down to her waist and turned her towards him, so they were looking at each other, side by side.
“Look, we’ll go as slowly as you want. As slowly as you need. In return, I need something from you. If I do something that you try and you don’t take pleasure in, you have to let me know. When you didn’t use your safe word, I thought you liked the clamps. I would never have left them on if you harbored any doubt.”
He gently removed the clamps and placed the apparatus on the bedside table nearest to him before turning back to focus his gaze on her, his big hand returning to warm her waist while he propped himself up on his elbow.
“Promise me that, Calleigh,” he softly commanded.
“I promise,” she said. “And don’t misunderstand – I liked everything we did tonight. Everything you did. Every move you made.”
“You only liked it?” he questioned, raising one perfectly dark eyebrow in sardonic amusement.
She smiled.
“Great doesn’t begin to describe it.”
“I’m still not seeing the problem here, then.”
“Being here, like this, with you. What does it say about me?”
“It says that you’re a woman who enjoys sex. Really great, outstanding, amazing sex.”
“Sex where I’m restrained and you’re always in control.”
“And?”
“And it’s hard for me to reconcile that with the image I’ve always had of the man I would ultimately end up with and the woman I would be when with him.”
“You worried you’re not going to be able to restrain yourself and marry me?”
She rolled her eyes. How like this arrogant, smug, sexy man to assume she was already planning their wedding after only two nights together. Now, granted, that might have been an activity she may have previously engaged in with prior boyfriends, but not anymore. She knew she needed to spend more time with him in her life and determine if he was what she wanted.
“No, I’m not planning our march down the aisle. I just…never expected to have this kind of sex life.”
“Sweets, we haven’t even scratched the surface of our so-called sex life. All the stuff I mentioned to you last night? The different kinds of restraints? The positions? The toys? It’s all in front of us. Tonight was only a very basic, very benign introduction to our sexual future. Which seemed to fit you when you were coming all over me about twenty minutes ago. I’m still not understanding what exactly the holdup is here tonight. Unless it’s the image you have of yourself with the image of what you actually want.”
Trust him to drill down right to the heart of the matter.
“I was raised to be an independent woman, David.”
“What we did last night and tonight doesn’t change that. It doesn’t change anything about you, as a woman or otherwise, other than the fact that you enjoy submitting to me.”
“I’m not naturally submissive. I’ve never been quiet or compliant in pretty much any part of my life. I’m not sure why this is different with you.”
“Maybe I’m different. You ever consider that?”
“What if you’re not?” she worried. What if he was like every other guy who once close enough, realized she was comprised of nothing but doubt, and decided she wasn’t worth his time, for the short or long term?
“There’s only one way to find out. We spend time like other couples do, in and out of bed. If we work, we work. If we don’t, you’ll leave
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