wings, too soiled to fly.
I cannot carry this burden alone, though on and on I try
Must keep this darkness hidden deep, under lock and key
Though my soul cries out, a man must be a man…and face his destiny.”
Eva had thought the song verse pertained to owning his own construction company. Had he meant his dream of marrying her? Had that ever even been a dream? Or just a feeling of responsibility, another burden around his neck? Had his offer to marry her come from his heart or his conscience? She just didn’t know.
It didn’t matter anyway. There was no point in clouding the present with murk from the past. She ejected the CD and tossed it onto the passenger seat. No more strolls down memory lane. She couldn’t change the past and reflecting back on it was eating her up inside. It was time to let it go.
* * * *
Gio had taken his time cleaning the privacy room and had been clearing out his locker when he’d heard Eva talking to Ted. He wasn’t above listening in.
Eva was frustrating the hell out of him. Saying what they’d shared together had just been sex, nothing intimate, made him feel sick inside and all around pissed him off.
He wasn’t going to be used for sex then rebuffed when he wanted to hold her. That was fucked up, in more ways than one.
Once he was out in his truck, he dialed John, a private investigator they had on retainer for Dom’s Place and asked him to get all the info he could on Eva. It was a dick move and he knew it would come back to bite him in the ass, but he did it anyway.
Looking at his watch, he knew he had a few hours to kill. He thought about stopping by Dom’s Place, but his head wasn’t in the right place. He wanted to punch something or somebody. Most likely he’d end up popping one of his asshole brothers and that would just disappoint his parents.
As he drove home, he passed half a dozen fast-food joints. Some greasy French fries sounded really good right now. Rotten food, some beer and a good brawl were what he needed to clear his head, but he kept driving. He wasn’t that same dumbass kid he’d been in college.
Gio pulled his truck into the garage. He didn’t want to be alone. He should have been married to Eva by now… Had a kid or two. Pulling into the drive should have meant he was home. His house was his pride and joy. He’d designed it and built it, but it wasn’t a home.
After he’d left college, he’d tried to forget Eva, tried to move on. He’d thrown himself into school then his business. On paper, he was a huge success, so why did it feel so damned worthless? Nothing filled the void that leaving Eva had created.
Eva refusing his care…was just wrong. It had him second guessing everything they’d done. Maybe he’d pushed her too far. He just didn’t know. Gio pulled the two steaks out of the refrigerator. The two steaks he’d foolishly hoped he’d be sharing with Eva. What an idiot he was.
He took out a meat tenderizer hammer and pounded the shit out of the steaks. They were first class and didn’t need it, but it made him feel better. He went outside and lit the barbecue. While it was heating up, he tossed a salad, not even sure he’d be able to eat it.
Mentally, he ran through the entire evening. It had gone better than he’d expected until the end. Maybe she was hurt because he’d taken her from behind again. It still blew his mind that she’d think he’d fantasized about being with someone else. There’d never been anyone else he’d cared about—not like Eva.
The rest of the evening, he just went through the motions. He ate dinner, checked his email and stared at the clock, counting the seconds until it was time to call. Gio had no idea what he planned to say. He only knew that he needed them to get past this and it wouldn’t be easy.
As the clock struck ten, Gio picked up the phone.
On the second ring, Eva answered. “Hey, Gio. I see you’ve gotten more punctual over the years.”
Gio forced a chuckle.
I cannot carry this burden alone, though on and on I try
Must keep this darkness hidden deep, under lock and key
Though my soul cries out, a man must be a man…and face his destiny.”
Eva had thought the song verse pertained to owning his own construction company. Had he meant his dream of marrying her? Had that ever even been a dream? Or just a feeling of responsibility, another burden around his neck? Had his offer to marry her come from his heart or his conscience? She just didn’t know.
It didn’t matter anyway. There was no point in clouding the present with murk from the past. She ejected the CD and tossed it onto the passenger seat. No more strolls down memory lane. She couldn’t change the past and reflecting back on it was eating her up inside. It was time to let it go.
* * * *
Gio had taken his time cleaning the privacy room and had been clearing out his locker when he’d heard Eva talking to Ted. He wasn’t above listening in.
Eva was frustrating the hell out of him. Saying what they’d shared together had just been sex, nothing intimate, made him feel sick inside and all around pissed him off.
He wasn’t going to be used for sex then rebuffed when he wanted to hold her. That was fucked up, in more ways than one.
Once he was out in his truck, he dialed John, a private investigator they had on retainer for Dom’s Place and asked him to get all the info he could on Eva. It was a dick move and he knew it would come back to bite him in the ass, but he did it anyway.
Looking at his watch, he knew he had a few hours to kill. He thought about stopping by Dom’s Place, but his head wasn’t in the right place. He wanted to punch something or somebody. Most likely he’d end up popping one of his asshole brothers and that would just disappoint his parents.
As he drove home, he passed half a dozen fast-food joints. Some greasy French fries sounded really good right now. Rotten food, some beer and a good brawl were what he needed to clear his head, but he kept driving. He wasn’t that same dumbass kid he’d been in college.
Gio pulled his truck into the garage. He didn’t want to be alone. He should have been married to Eva by now… Had a kid or two. Pulling into the drive should have meant he was home. His house was his pride and joy. He’d designed it and built it, but it wasn’t a home.
After he’d left college, he’d tried to forget Eva, tried to move on. He’d thrown himself into school then his business. On paper, he was a huge success, so why did it feel so damned worthless? Nothing filled the void that leaving Eva had created.
Eva refusing his care…was just wrong. It had him second guessing everything they’d done. Maybe he’d pushed her too far. He just didn’t know. Gio pulled the two steaks out of the refrigerator. The two steaks he’d foolishly hoped he’d be sharing with Eva. What an idiot he was.
He took out a meat tenderizer hammer and pounded the shit out of the steaks. They were first class and didn’t need it, but it made him feel better. He went outside and lit the barbecue. While it was heating up, he tossed a salad, not even sure he’d be able to eat it.
Mentally, he ran through the entire evening. It had gone better than he’d expected until the end. Maybe she was hurt because he’d taken her from behind again. It still blew his mind that she’d think he’d fantasized about being with someone else. There’d never been anyone else he’d cared about—not like Eva.
The rest of the evening, he just went through the motions. He ate dinner, checked his email and stared at the clock, counting the seconds until it was time to call. Gio had no idea what he planned to say. He only knew that he needed them to get past this and it wouldn’t be easy.
As the clock struck ten, Gio picked up the phone.
On the second ring, Eva answered. “Hey, Gio. I see you’ve gotten more punctual over the years.”
Gio forced a chuckle.
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