He’d thought about this journal so much. Obsessed about it, really. He’d wanted to see her thoughts so badly, and here it was, open, calling to him, tempting him. A good man would’ve closed it and let it be, but Dustin was a werewolf, and his moral compass was a little bent, so he murmured, “Oops,” and flipped it open to the middle.
He read the neat handwriting, a few lines of a song. It was a ballad, a lonely one. Dark. Hmm. Dustin locked his arm against the table and turned the page to the next song. After reading that one, he flipped through two more until he came to a drawing of a panther. It was Winter. She was lying in the shadows of a group of white pines, head turned to the side looking straight at him. The drawing was in black ink, but the eyes were colored gold. Damn. Emma was really good at sketching—a true creative, clearly.
There was another song about wanting more. Dustin liked music as much as the next person, but these were clearly written for other people. To sell maybe, he didn’t know, but most of the lyrics didn’t match what he’d seen of Emma. She was good. The choruses were catchy, and he wished he could hear them with music. Guitar maybe, like the old scratched-up one that sat on a stand in the corner.
But as he continued to flip through, he lingered on the drawings most. After Winter’s Panther, there were angel wings, like his tattoos, and then a set of eyes, one green, one blue. Dustin’s heart froze in his chest. At the bottom, she’d written, Who are you?
Next was a drawing of his black-furred wolf with his teeth bared. That was what he had probably looked like when he and Kane had almost gone to blows at the trailer park. Fucker had forced a Change that hurt so bad. The next was of him in the woods, face turned up at the moon, lips pursed in a howl. It was a dark drawing, done in some medium other than ink. When he smudged the corner, the black strokes smeared. He sniffed his finger. Charcoal or something close.
The next few pages were songs, hopeful ones. Love ballads, as if her entire mood had changed. One talked about seeing the real side of a person. But the next was about a man with too many secrets. Dustin swallowed hard and turned the page. It was a picture of him in his human form, striding from the woods, naked, eyes glowing blue and green, face looking intense. He was reaching out. This must’ve been how she saw him the night he’d Changed in the woods, but had come back to her, needing to touch her to settle the wolf inside of him. At the bottom, she had written, I know you’re still good.
The next song was about falling for a man who was too good for her.
Shit.
He didn’t want to trick her into thinking he was more than a monster. Here he was sent to betray the Blackwing dragons. And now, if he did what Axton and Jace demanded, he would betray her, too. He wasn’t better than her, no. Dustin wasn’t worthy of a woman like Emma.
He could never bite her, never give into the urging of his wolf. Love didn’t work like that, and he couldn’t allow himself to take her chance to sing away, or to tether her to a man who would drag her down into the shadows with him.
Maybe it was a good thing she would turn vamp on him. Then she would be strong and able to defend herself from the trouble that followed him. Maybe then, they would be on the same level, and she could handle his demons. Emma the human was too, vulnerable, easily injured. Emma the vampire, though… She would be a force to be reckoned with. He fucking hated vamps, but he would still love Emma when she Turned.
And she would finally be able to sing all these songs she’d written.
“What are you doing?” Emma asked from the open doorway of the bathroom.
He didn’t jump. Dustin wasn’t startled because he’d heard the door open. “Reading your journal,” he answered.
She looked upset, but he didn’t give her the chance to filet him. He blurred to her and wrapped her up in his arms, rocked
He read the neat handwriting, a few lines of a song. It was a ballad, a lonely one. Dark. Hmm. Dustin locked his arm against the table and turned the page to the next song. After reading that one, he flipped through two more until he came to a drawing of a panther. It was Winter. She was lying in the shadows of a group of white pines, head turned to the side looking straight at him. The drawing was in black ink, but the eyes were colored gold. Damn. Emma was really good at sketching—a true creative, clearly.
There was another song about wanting more. Dustin liked music as much as the next person, but these were clearly written for other people. To sell maybe, he didn’t know, but most of the lyrics didn’t match what he’d seen of Emma. She was good. The choruses were catchy, and he wished he could hear them with music. Guitar maybe, like the old scratched-up one that sat on a stand in the corner.
But as he continued to flip through, he lingered on the drawings most. After Winter’s Panther, there were angel wings, like his tattoos, and then a set of eyes, one green, one blue. Dustin’s heart froze in his chest. At the bottom, she’d written, Who are you?
Next was a drawing of his black-furred wolf with his teeth bared. That was what he had probably looked like when he and Kane had almost gone to blows at the trailer park. Fucker had forced a Change that hurt so bad. The next was of him in the woods, face turned up at the moon, lips pursed in a howl. It was a dark drawing, done in some medium other than ink. When he smudged the corner, the black strokes smeared. He sniffed his finger. Charcoal or something close.
The next few pages were songs, hopeful ones. Love ballads, as if her entire mood had changed. One talked about seeing the real side of a person. But the next was about a man with too many secrets. Dustin swallowed hard and turned the page. It was a picture of him in his human form, striding from the woods, naked, eyes glowing blue and green, face looking intense. He was reaching out. This must’ve been how she saw him the night he’d Changed in the woods, but had come back to her, needing to touch her to settle the wolf inside of him. At the bottom, she had written, I know you’re still good.
The next song was about falling for a man who was too good for her.
Shit.
He didn’t want to trick her into thinking he was more than a monster. Here he was sent to betray the Blackwing dragons. And now, if he did what Axton and Jace demanded, he would betray her, too. He wasn’t better than her, no. Dustin wasn’t worthy of a woman like Emma.
He could never bite her, never give into the urging of his wolf. Love didn’t work like that, and he couldn’t allow himself to take her chance to sing away, or to tether her to a man who would drag her down into the shadows with him.
Maybe it was a good thing she would turn vamp on him. Then she would be strong and able to defend herself from the trouble that followed him. Maybe then, they would be on the same level, and she could handle his demons. Emma the human was too, vulnerable, easily injured. Emma the vampire, though… She would be a force to be reckoned with. He fucking hated vamps, but he would still love Emma when she Turned.
And she would finally be able to sing all these songs she’d written.
“What are you doing?” Emma asked from the open doorway of the bathroom.
He didn’t jump. Dustin wasn’t startled because he’d heard the door open. “Reading your journal,” he answered.
She looked upset, but he didn’t give her the chance to filet him. He blurred to her and wrapped her up in his arms, rocked
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