I know that now. Should’ve done everything to make you happy and I didn’t. I’m sorry.” His gray eyes burn into mine as he says this, his anguish coming through loud and clear.
Wait. He’s apologizing to me? No! I should be the one apologizing to him.
“Kade…” I whisper shaking my head. God, he’s such a good guy. So like him to take the responsibility for everything. “It was me… my fault… I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“No, Mill, you were right. Was too busy with my career and I fucked up. Should’ve put you first. And after, should’ve found you and got you back immediately. Made amends. But I was too proud.”
I close my eyes and shake my head. This is too much. “It’s not all your fault. I should’ve explained what I was feeling instead of running.” I open my eyes and look into his seeing all the regret I hold mirrored in his.
“I get why you ran. I know I was a selfish, arrogant prick thinking I was all you needed.” We sit and look at each other, both of us knowing we screwed up. “Wanna try this again, Mill…”
Oh, God. He’s just laid it all out there. Wow.
“Five years is a long time, Kade… a lot has happened.”
“Not gonna lie. Fucked a lot of women after you, tryin’ to get you out of my head.”
And I’ve had it, so tired of hearing about all the women he’s been with. Tears sting the backs of my eyes and it feels like the walls are closing in on me making it hard to breathe. I suddenly jump up and head to the door. I have to get out of here now.
And then he’s there, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me back against him, my back to his front.
“L-let me go,” I say, the tears falling now.
He curls his other arm across my chest and holds me tight as we stand there for a moment before he kisses the top of my head then says into my hair, “Failed.”
I take a stuttering breath and close my eyes and whisper, “What?”
“I failed. It didn’t get you outta my head. Only made it worse.”
“Kade…”
“Bigger than the sky, Mill.”
Oh, my God.
I can’t take this right now and start crying harder because now I’m scared to death.
When we were together, I’d told him a story about Papaw and me looking at clouds, and since then Kade had always said our love was bigger than the sky.
So in saying this now, he’s just told me that he still loves me.
He still loves me.
He still loves me.
I don’t know what to do with this and I think my brain just shuts down because I’m suddenly so tired that all I can do is slump back into him, my head falling against his chest as the weariness takes over. He picks me up and carries me to the bed, setting me down then lying down behind me to hold me like he did last night.
“Bigger than the sky…” I hear him whisper right before I drift off.
Chapter 10
I wake to a dark room and find that I’m alone.
And I’ve never been so sad to be alone in my life.
I sit up and reach over to turn on the bedside lamp then squint like crazy at the glare it puts out. Through my squinting eyes I see that Kade left a little origami flower on the pillow next to mine. I pick it up and open it to find his masculine block handwriting inside:
Jen’s tonight at 10
Bigger than the sky…
Kade
Okay, here’s what’s going on in my head right now. First of all, I’m thinking how can he say that he still loves me after all these years. We don’t even know each other anymore. I mean, for all he knows, I could be a serial killer now (has this become a phobia for me or what?). Second, I’m thinking I’m a huge chickenshit, afraid to admit I have feelings for him. And third and most important, I’ve got a life back in Richmond, I’m not going to be here that long, and if we started something now it wouldn’t make any sense because he has the lumberyard and he’s not going to leave Serenity Point, so what’s the use?
I sigh wondering when my life became so complicated.
It’s now six, so
Wait. He’s apologizing to me? No! I should be the one apologizing to him.
“Kade…” I whisper shaking my head. God, he’s such a good guy. So like him to take the responsibility for everything. “It was me… my fault… I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“No, Mill, you were right. Was too busy with my career and I fucked up. Should’ve put you first. And after, should’ve found you and got you back immediately. Made amends. But I was too proud.”
I close my eyes and shake my head. This is too much. “It’s not all your fault. I should’ve explained what I was feeling instead of running.” I open my eyes and look into his seeing all the regret I hold mirrored in his.
“I get why you ran. I know I was a selfish, arrogant prick thinking I was all you needed.” We sit and look at each other, both of us knowing we screwed up. “Wanna try this again, Mill…”
Oh, God. He’s just laid it all out there. Wow.
“Five years is a long time, Kade… a lot has happened.”
“Not gonna lie. Fucked a lot of women after you, tryin’ to get you out of my head.”
And I’ve had it, so tired of hearing about all the women he’s been with. Tears sting the backs of my eyes and it feels like the walls are closing in on me making it hard to breathe. I suddenly jump up and head to the door. I have to get out of here now.
And then he’s there, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me back against him, my back to his front.
“L-let me go,” I say, the tears falling now.
He curls his other arm across my chest and holds me tight as we stand there for a moment before he kisses the top of my head then says into my hair, “Failed.”
I take a stuttering breath and close my eyes and whisper, “What?”
“I failed. It didn’t get you outta my head. Only made it worse.”
“Kade…”
“Bigger than the sky, Mill.”
Oh, my God.
I can’t take this right now and start crying harder because now I’m scared to death.
When we were together, I’d told him a story about Papaw and me looking at clouds, and since then Kade had always said our love was bigger than the sky.
So in saying this now, he’s just told me that he still loves me.
He still loves me.
He still loves me.
I don’t know what to do with this and I think my brain just shuts down because I’m suddenly so tired that all I can do is slump back into him, my head falling against his chest as the weariness takes over. He picks me up and carries me to the bed, setting me down then lying down behind me to hold me like he did last night.
“Bigger than the sky…” I hear him whisper right before I drift off.
Chapter 10
I wake to a dark room and find that I’m alone.
And I’ve never been so sad to be alone in my life.
I sit up and reach over to turn on the bedside lamp then squint like crazy at the glare it puts out. Through my squinting eyes I see that Kade left a little origami flower on the pillow next to mine. I pick it up and open it to find his masculine block handwriting inside:
Jen’s tonight at 10
Bigger than the sky…
Kade
Okay, here’s what’s going on in my head right now. First of all, I’m thinking how can he say that he still loves me after all these years. We don’t even know each other anymore. I mean, for all he knows, I could be a serial killer now (has this become a phobia for me or what?). Second, I’m thinking I’m a huge chickenshit, afraid to admit I have feelings for him. And third and most important, I’ve got a life back in Richmond, I’m not going to be here that long, and if we started something now it wouldn’t make any sense because he has the lumberyard and he’s not going to leave Serenity Point, so what’s the use?
I sigh wondering when my life became so complicated.
It’s now six, so
Similar Books
