He's not mine to give."
"No, he's not. But you love him and it hurts you to admit that, doesn't it? Love him maybe too much.
You or Kel. I need you, Liam. I've always needed you.
Like I need air to breathe. I'm nothing without you. And I suspect you're nothing without me. If you leave I won't folow, but I wil go after Kel."
"You're trying to make me angry. Like Friday so I'l forget. It's not working."
"I want you so much. I don't care how I get you. Angry. God you made me hurt Friday. It felt so damned good. You inside me, around me, al over me.
I've dreamed of you, for years. Wanting that again." He slid his hand down my chest, I felt hot wet lips on my neck. I sank back into him, too weak to fight his voice and his hands. If I left, he'd leave me alone forever. If I left, I was giving him permission to date Kel. I hated the thought of both. He wrapped his other arm around my waist and held me to him. Pressing light kisses along my neck until I couldn't stop the groan I fought. "You want me. I can smel your arousal. I love the way you smel."
"I don't want him hurt. I can't be the one who breaks his heart. And neither can you. You know that."
I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his lower back. I rested my head on his shoulder protecting my neck from his mouth.
"I could have you both. No one would get hurt that way."
"You're a damned pervert." I turned my face into his neck and smiled when he jabbed me in my side.
"Next thing you'l say is we can have a daddy and son ménage."
"Shit, Liam, don't make me come in my pants."
He ran a hand through my hair and puled. "The fantasy of that makes me… Christ."
"You are getting pervy in your old age." I loved how his hands felt in my hair. His lips grazed my forehead. "Leave the kid out of this."
"You're the one who mentioned a ménage so don't blame me. And I'm not old, I'm barely thirty.
Unlike you, old man." I felt a shirt button give way, his breath was warm on my face. I raised my head and faced him. His eyes locked with mine, holding me captive. "Stil beautiful. Nearly forty and you look the same as you did when I met you. Not even a white hair yet. How do you do that?"
"My Da made a deal with the little people for a fair and brawny boy child. How the hel should I know?
I see wrinkles and al kinds of ugly going on in my mirror." I tucked my hands in his back pockets and dragged him tight against me. He was deliciously hard.
"I love you."
"I know," he whispered as he gently placed a kiss on my mouth. "I can see it in your eyes. I saw it Friday night when you looked at me in the restaurant before fear rushed into your memory. It nearly kiled me watching you run from me. Not knowing why you were running. Again."
I turned him to the window and pressed him hard against it. Inserting my knee between his legs, I took control of the kiss. Soft, just lips, barely grazing him. I flicked him with my tongue, running it across his bottom lip until he moaned. "Love you… so much…
Liam? Need you."
His deft fingers had my shirt open and pushed back onto my upper arms before I could say a word.
But I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to taste and rub and swalow his moans. I arched against him—
jeans to jeans, fly to fly, erection to erection. Rocked into him, loving the feel of his hands on my chest. He pinched my nipples making me gasp. He tried to deepen the kiss but I wouldn't let him. I controled the kiss. Sweet tongue touches and hot breath mingling. He lifted his leg and hooked it around my thigh giving me better access. I rubbed myself against him, thriling at his breathy moans that turned to throaty purrs and finaly to growls. "Come for me," I heard myself say. I wanted to hold him in my arms while he trembled in release. I wanted to—
He growled low in his throat and pushed me back a step. I grabbed wildly as my feet left the floor.
"Put me down," I demanded, not liking that he could so easily move me around. He'd never tried before. I
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
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