since he seems to be waiting. Being around him makes me nervous, maybe because I still find the line between him and his character a little hazy. Maybe because heâs always smiling and stands really close so that when I look up at him my chin practically rests on his chest. As it does now:
ME
Hey.
I am super-aware of the closeness. His T-shirt smells unexpectedly nice. When weâre next to each other he has a good six inches on me and seems to enjoy it. I feel safe in scenes with him at least, like he wonât forget the words because theyâre his own. But in these unscripted moments, Iâm more nervous â¦
Case in point:
OUTSIDE PEELEâS. EARLY EVENING.
Thereâs something about Gabe. He didnât ask me out like other people have, he kind of told me we had a date and I never corrected him. Itâs a refreshing change and even though Iâm not sure itâs a good idea, here I am! He swept me up in the idea, saying that it would help us get into character, which kind of makes sense. And with Ryanâs comment in the hall, I didnât think it would hurt. Gabe met me after my shift, in a crisply pressed shirtâcuteâand so far, Iâve had a surprisingly good time. You have karate tonight, so I havenât even had the chance to tell you Iâm here with him yet. I have thought about Mia once or twice but otherwise Iâm all here.
Itâs getting dark earlier, and fairy lights frame the windows of Peeleâs. Gabe is standing as close as usual and I can actually see the lights glinting in his eyes. As we walk, heâs finding reason to be near me. He makes a joke
semi
at my expense so he can playfully push me and when I go flying he pulls me in toward him like a yo-yo. Aside from this athletic flirting, I like how I feel around himâgirlish, desired, and I canât remember feeling that recently. The street is empty and the sun is setting so that everything glows amber. Iâm thinking about making some comment about it but, when I turn around, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me! Itâs firm and warm. I think I make a small noise, more from surprise than enjoyment. Not that Iâm not enjoying it but my heart isnât beating out of my chest as even my imaginationcan cause it to. There are no fireworks, no butterflies. Itâs nice but just not quite right. Putting my hands against his chest, I gently push away. He smiles.
GABE
Sorry, misread the moment maybe?
ME
Yep!
A semi-awkward, interesting pause.
Sorry. I like you, Gabe, and itâs nice to have spent time together, but â¦
GABE
Say no more, babe.
Thereâs the âbabeâ I was expecting!
ME
Really? So weâre okay.
GABE
Sure.
That was easy. Heâs still relaxed, smiling! Maybe itâs a girl thing to die of embarrassment after suddenly kissing someone. (And a normal thing!) Guys have it easy. When theyârenot embarrassed, it actually seems less embarrassing.
I kissed you. So whatâs the problem?
I feel a smile tug at the corner of my mouth as I imagine just kissing people when I wanted to. Thereâd be mayhem.
Heâs still gazing at me and I picture us silhouetted in the fading light. If only it was the most magical moment of my life. He looks like he might tuck a strand of hair behind my ear if one were going rogue but fortunately Iâm uncharacteristically put together and he settles for running a fingertip under my chin.
GABE
I just looked at you, and the way you looked against the sunset, I knew I had to kiss you.
Iâm torn between laughing out loud at the extreme schmaltz, and kissing him again. He hasnât stepped away and I wouldnât have to move far to be touching him. Part of me considers it: letting him press into me with his soft mouth and firm body, because he makes me feel sexy ⦠feminine. But thatâs not a good enough reason.
ME
Sweet talk will get you nowhere, pal.
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