Between You & Me by Marisa Calin Page A

“pal” since the fifties but if he can get away with kissing me, I think I can get away with “pal.” I push himto arm’s length with a fingertip and then nudge him in the ribs with an elbow as we start walking, a nudge that says, “Ya big charmer, but enough of the kissing!” The gesture makes me think of you.
    Gabe and I part company at the end of the street and he raises his hand in a farewell salute. Well, I didn’t break his heart, I think as I walk away. I get the impression he was just trying it on and won’t be crying into his pillow tonight.

MY BEDROOM. MIDNIGHT. THAT NIGHT.
    I can’t say the same for my good night’s sleep. He kisses me, and I’m the one spending the rest of the night neuroticizing about it! We have to go back to rehearsals tomorrow and I hope it won’t be weird. Especially with Mia there. I can’t help wondering if I was clear enough that today is as far as it goes. Maybe I should have stepped back right away, not enjoyed the attention, the feel of him. I cover my face in the dark. I hope I didn’t mess up.
    Ten minutes later, the pendulum of my thoughts swings reassuringly to
no big deal
, he’s hardly in love. Maybe, like me, there are people he’d rather be kissing.
Are
there people I’d rather be kissing? I think about Mia, nearly all the time, butthinking is one thing, kissing is another. I squeeze my eyes shut and give myself permission to fantasize. If Gabe can do
no big deal
, so can I. I try to imagine kissing Mia with my experimental new vibe. My imaginary self turns bright red and runs for the trees.

REHEARSAL. SCHOOL THEATER. TWO DAYS LATER.
    For some reason I haven’t mentioned the Gabe thing to you yet. We didn’t speak that night, and it would be strange to announce it out of the blue. Not that you’re likely to ask,
Hey, kissed anyone today?
so I suppose I’ll have to tell you if you’re going to know.
    To my great relief, rehearsals seem normal. As if he can hear my thoughts, Gabe, sitting across from me, winks. Mia notices and I blush. We haven’t been acting as though it never happened. We’re acting as though it happened and we have successfully put it behind us, which makes me feel spectacularly well-adjusted. If only we could all go around kissing people without detrimental effects. He’s made jokes about it too, which helps.
I promise I won’t kiss you
, he says when I get close enough. Maybe he’s the kind of guy who kisses a lot of girls for no reason. Maybe I’m that kind of girl. I think not.

MY BEDROOM. THAT EVENING.
    I’m getting ready to meet you at the movies. Kate is supposed to be coming with two of her friends. I’m running late—you’re probably already there. Mom comes into my room with an armful of laundry. I catch a glimpse of the face she makes at the “interesting paint effect” every time she comes in. I can’t find my shoes and it’s driving me crazy. I’m worried we’ll miss the beginning of the movie. Mom is speaking to me from the doorway.
    MOM
    I think it’s exciting how much you’re enjoying your theater class.
    ME
    Have you seen my shoes? I can’t find them anywhere.
    Mom points to a heap on the floor—her angle clearly advantageous. The mess has gotten away from me. She sits down on my bed.
    MOM
    And this play that you’re a part of.
    I try to zip up my sweater but it catches. The zipper is jammed. It won’t go up or down. I can’t go out with a jammed wonky sweater and I wail in frustration. Mom tells me to settle down and takes hold of my zip. It slides freely up to my neck and I wave as I run out of the room with a protracted
Bye
that comes with me down the stairs.

MOVIE THEATER. SOON AFTER.
    Skipping the last few feet to the doors of the movie theater, I see you up ahead in front of the movie posters, illuminated in the colored lights and turning your head with