the ‘wild’ years, your first time away from home and all. You’re supposed to come back ready to settle down into adult life. I found the messenger culture distasteful, running around to different cities every day, drinking wine late into the night at the messenger posts …”
“That sounds fun, though. I mean, not the wine, I don’t care for it. But you must meet lots of people.”
“It’s all very hollow,” he said. “And somehow I was supposed to come back from that prepared to settle into a life of research and marriage like my father? If those were my wild years … well, they seemed wasted. So I quit and came to Sormesen, seeking some other fortune that suited me. I ended up here, where at least I can learn around books and different kinds of people, without all the running around and other nonsense.”
“Oh.” Esmerine thought it strange that he had left home to live with humans. It had been such a heavy decision for her to come just for a short while to help Dosia. Strange that he had done all this yet never come back to visit her. “Have you made a lot of friends here?”
“That isn’t the point.”
“What is the point?”
“Esmerine, my God but you ask a lot of questions.”
“Well, I’m going to ask another one!” she said, her voice rising. “Why do you make me feel stupid for asking if you have friends or why you don’t like fairy tales? Is your life only about books and studies and philosophies? When we used to play together, I looked forward to the books you brought and the things you told me, but we also used to have so much fun .”
“We were children! I—I put those things aside when I went to the Academy. The whole world looks to us for knowledge. Maybe such frivolity is all right for merfolk because you don’t have that reputation.”
Esmerine made a face. He might not mean to insult her, but he still sounded superior. “Your people are very strange.”
“ My people are strange? What about how the other mermaids teased you because I brought you books? What about the fact that they didn’t like you to take on a legged form? Seems to me they were afraid of what you might learn.”
Esmerine had finished most of her soup, and couldn’t eat more anyway. She pushed the bowl back. “They were trying to protect me from danger! Danger like what Dosia’s gotten herself into.”
“Danger? From me? A boy of ten with a book of fairy tales?”
“Well, they must’ve thought—” Yes, what had they thought? Why did they care if she learned to read? “I guess it was just that you were strange to them.”
He made a frustrated sound. “So I had to leave that behind, didn’t I?”
“What? Me?”
“You, and—what I’m trying to say is, it was time for me to grow up and concern myself with proper Fandarsee things, and for you to do the same. I suppose we learned from our friendship, but just as your world has no books, my world doesn’t have the things your world has. Singing and dancing are for performers, and what you called ‘theatricals’ would be called ‘children’s games’ where I’m from.”
Esmerine regarded him fiercely. “How insulting you are! You enjoyed it at the time.”
“I did!” he snapped. “But I couldn’t keep coming to see you forever. You welcomed me, but the other merfolk looked at me with curiosity at best and quite often distaste.”
“Well, they—I don’t know—” She stopped, knowing it was true. Even four years after Alan left, she was commonly defined as the girl who played with the winged boy, with all that implied—the running around with legs, the writing on the sand. She had never been shunned, it was more of a mark— Esmerine’s a fine girl, very well behaved, but a bit odd . In fact, she always felt she had to be well behaved, to prove herself. If they thought her odd, they did their best to ignore Alan’s very existence. “I never realized you cared what they thought of you.”
“I don’t, but—” He
“That sounds fun, though. I mean, not the wine, I don’t care for it. But you must meet lots of people.”
“It’s all very hollow,” he said. “And somehow I was supposed to come back from that prepared to settle into a life of research and marriage like my father? If those were my wild years … well, they seemed wasted. So I quit and came to Sormesen, seeking some other fortune that suited me. I ended up here, where at least I can learn around books and different kinds of people, without all the running around and other nonsense.”
“Oh.” Esmerine thought it strange that he had left home to live with humans. It had been such a heavy decision for her to come just for a short while to help Dosia. Strange that he had done all this yet never come back to visit her. “Have you made a lot of friends here?”
“That isn’t the point.”
“What is the point?”
“Esmerine, my God but you ask a lot of questions.”
“Well, I’m going to ask another one!” she said, her voice rising. “Why do you make me feel stupid for asking if you have friends or why you don’t like fairy tales? Is your life only about books and studies and philosophies? When we used to play together, I looked forward to the books you brought and the things you told me, but we also used to have so much fun .”
“We were children! I—I put those things aside when I went to the Academy. The whole world looks to us for knowledge. Maybe such frivolity is all right for merfolk because you don’t have that reputation.”
Esmerine made a face. He might not mean to insult her, but he still sounded superior. “Your people are very strange.”
“ My people are strange? What about how the other mermaids teased you because I brought you books? What about the fact that they didn’t like you to take on a legged form? Seems to me they were afraid of what you might learn.”
Esmerine had finished most of her soup, and couldn’t eat more anyway. She pushed the bowl back. “They were trying to protect me from danger! Danger like what Dosia’s gotten herself into.”
“Danger? From me? A boy of ten with a book of fairy tales?”
“Well, they must’ve thought—” Yes, what had they thought? Why did they care if she learned to read? “I guess it was just that you were strange to them.”
He made a frustrated sound. “So I had to leave that behind, didn’t I?”
“What? Me?”
“You, and—what I’m trying to say is, it was time for me to grow up and concern myself with proper Fandarsee things, and for you to do the same. I suppose we learned from our friendship, but just as your world has no books, my world doesn’t have the things your world has. Singing and dancing are for performers, and what you called ‘theatricals’ would be called ‘children’s games’ where I’m from.”
Esmerine regarded him fiercely. “How insulting you are! You enjoyed it at the time.”
“I did!” he snapped. “But I couldn’t keep coming to see you forever. You welcomed me, but the other merfolk looked at me with curiosity at best and quite often distaste.”
“Well, they—I don’t know—” She stopped, knowing it was true. Even four years after Alan left, she was commonly defined as the girl who played with the winged boy, with all that implied—the running around with legs, the writing on the sand. She had never been shunned, it was more of a mark— Esmerine’s a fine girl, very well behaved, but a bit odd . In fact, she always felt she had to be well behaved, to prove herself. If they thought her odd, they did their best to ignore Alan’s very existence. “I never realized you cared what they thought of you.”
“I don’t, but—” He
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