they were saying. They called our troops “baby killers” and I couldn’t let that go and got into a shouting match with them. They have it all wrong, but before I could explain myself, one of the demonstrators threw a tomato at me. Oh, Nick, it was just awful.
I’m fine. All the tomato did was stain my dress. But it showed me how heated people’s feelings are about this war. I tried so hard to get them to understand how important it is for everyone at home to support our troops. The war is wrong, but our men are only doing what our government has ordered. It was stupid to try to reason with a crowd—I had a lot of insults thrown at me, as well as the tomato. As you might guess, my father was terribly upset by the entire incident. Now he doesn’t want me driving into Seattle unless Mom accompanies me.
I probably shouldn’t have told you this. Don’t be like Dad and get upset, okay?
I love you so much, and am counting the days until you’re home. If you don’t marry me the instant you step off that plane, I’ll never forgive you.
Remember how much I love you.
Jillian
Lesley’s Diary
August 3, 1968
I’m so furious with Buck I can hardly think straight. The minute he got his paycheck he disappeared with his drinking buddies and didn’t return until the wee hours of the morning. He crawled into bed, smelling of beer, and immediately wanted to make love. I told him we couldn’t because it was my fertile time of the month. He knows I don’t want another baby so soon after Lindy. He kept insisting we do it, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He tried sweet-talking me into it, but I repeatedly said no. Eventually he got mad and said he might as well find himself a real woman. That was when I suggested he search in the cocktail lounge in Waikiki.
He didn’t understand I was telling him I’d seen him necking with that woman in Hawaii. Instead, he insisted he didn’t want any woman but his wife. Like a fool, I agreed to let him make love to me as long as he withdrew before he ejaculated and he promised he would, but then he didn’t. If I turn up pregnant again, I don’t know what I’ll do. With the future as uncertain as it is, with assassinations, race riots and the war in Vietnam, I don’t want to bring any more children into the world.
In the morning, his head hurting from a hangover, Buck told me over and over how sorry he was and promised it wouldn’t happen again. As far as I’m concerned, there won’t be an opportunity for another “accident.”
***
Outside Khe Sanh in South Vietnam
August 19, 1968
Dearest Jillian,
Your letters were waiting for me when I got back to base. Right away I read each one twice. Jillian, I agree with your father—stay away from those protesters. You put yourself in a dangerous situation and for no reason. You aren’t going to convince them to change their minds, so play it safe. I need to know you’re safe, sweetheart! So promise me you won’t do anything that foolish again. I appreciate that you want to support us, though. I agree with you—this war is wrong. We shouldn’t even be here. If the demonstrators manage to bring us home, then more power to them.
I can’t tell you how much getting mail means to me, especially after a day like today. I won’t describe what happened. Not all of it, anyway, but I watched a brave man die this afternoon. A good man and, honey, it really shook me up. It shook us all up. It could’ve been any one of us. I’ve seen death before, but I haven’t felt it the way I did this afternoon. It was like a giant hand reached out and grabbed Bob, completely at random. Why Bob and not me? None of it makes any sense.
Then later, after we got back, one of my buddies read a letter from his girl. I knew something was wrong when he threw it down and walked outside. His fiancée broke off the engagement and he was crying. Not so anyone could see, but when I found him he had tears running down his face. It wiped him out
I’m fine. All the tomato did was stain my dress. But it showed me how heated people’s feelings are about this war. I tried so hard to get them to understand how important it is for everyone at home to support our troops. The war is wrong, but our men are only doing what our government has ordered. It was stupid to try to reason with a crowd—I had a lot of insults thrown at me, as well as the tomato. As you might guess, my father was terribly upset by the entire incident. Now he doesn’t want me driving into Seattle unless Mom accompanies me.
I probably shouldn’t have told you this. Don’t be like Dad and get upset, okay?
I love you so much, and am counting the days until you’re home. If you don’t marry me the instant you step off that plane, I’ll never forgive you.
Remember how much I love you.
Jillian
Lesley’s Diary
August 3, 1968
I’m so furious with Buck I can hardly think straight. The minute he got his paycheck he disappeared with his drinking buddies and didn’t return until the wee hours of the morning. He crawled into bed, smelling of beer, and immediately wanted to make love. I told him we couldn’t because it was my fertile time of the month. He knows I don’t want another baby so soon after Lindy. He kept insisting we do it, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He tried sweet-talking me into it, but I repeatedly said no. Eventually he got mad and said he might as well find himself a real woman. That was when I suggested he search in the cocktail lounge in Waikiki.
He didn’t understand I was telling him I’d seen him necking with that woman in Hawaii. Instead, he insisted he didn’t want any woman but his wife. Like a fool, I agreed to let him make love to me as long as he withdrew before he ejaculated and he promised he would, but then he didn’t. If I turn up pregnant again, I don’t know what I’ll do. With the future as uncertain as it is, with assassinations, race riots and the war in Vietnam, I don’t want to bring any more children into the world.
In the morning, his head hurting from a hangover, Buck told me over and over how sorry he was and promised it wouldn’t happen again. As far as I’m concerned, there won’t be an opportunity for another “accident.”
***
Outside Khe Sanh in South Vietnam
August 19, 1968
Dearest Jillian,
Your letters were waiting for me when I got back to base. Right away I read each one twice. Jillian, I agree with your father—stay away from those protesters. You put yourself in a dangerous situation and for no reason. You aren’t going to convince them to change their minds, so play it safe. I need to know you’re safe, sweetheart! So promise me you won’t do anything that foolish again. I appreciate that you want to support us, though. I agree with you—this war is wrong. We shouldn’t even be here. If the demonstrators manage to bring us home, then more power to them.
I can’t tell you how much getting mail means to me, especially after a day like today. I won’t describe what happened. Not all of it, anyway, but I watched a brave man die this afternoon. A good man and, honey, it really shook me up. It shook us all up. It could’ve been any one of us. I’ve seen death before, but I haven’t felt it the way I did this afternoon. It was like a giant hand reached out and grabbed Bob, completely at random. Why Bob and not me? None of it makes any sense.
Then later, after we got back, one of my buddies read a letter from his girl. I knew something was wrong when he threw it down and walked outside. His fiancée broke off the engagement and he was crying. Not so anyone could see, but when I found him he had tears running down his face. It wiped him out
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