yours and Dad’s, too, are the only way I have of staying sane here. I haven’t been as faithful as I wanted to be in writing you, but I know you understand.
By the way, I got word of your recent “troubles.” What the hell are you doing hanging around with Dirk Andrews? You didn’t learn your lesson about him the last time? We both know Dirk’s bad news. He’s already been arrested twice. I didn’t realize you had a hankering for jail food. Thank God Dad was able to get you out of this scrape, but don’t count on being that fortunate again. Before you decide to step out of the house or do anything, stop and consider the consequences of your actions. Dad only said one thing to me before I left for Nam. “Be a man.” Then he hugged me and asked me to come home. I’m asking you to be a man now, Jimmy, and ditch Dirk before you end up doing jail time for being stupid.
I don’t mean to come down too hard on you. You’re my kid brother and I’ve always looked out for you. It’s harder now with me being so far from home, so I’m relying on you to keep your own nose clean. In other words, stay away from Dirk, and stay out of trouble. I’ve got to end this if it’s going to make today’s mail.
I don’t say this often, Jimmy, but I love you.
Your brother,
Nick
***
October 1, 1968
Dear Susan,
It was so good to hear from you. I knew you’d like the Navy, and if everything goes according to plan, you’ll soon be in nursing school. I envy you the opportunity.
Buck, the kids and I are doing great. We’re anxious to move back to Washington. Dad said there’s a job waiting for Buck at the lumber mill once he’s discharged, but you know Dad, he’s always full of talk. However, Buck worked at the mill before he enlisted, so we’re hoping he can get back on.
Lindy is growing by leaps and bounds. Davey, too. I don’t know how Mom did it with six of us constantly underfoot. Mom wrote and said Mike has a job at the Albertson’s store this summer and Joe’s hoping they’ll hire him next year when he’s old enough to work. He took over Mike’s paper route and has his own money for school clothes. That helps Mom. Bruce and Lily spend most of their time at Lion’s Park swimming, just the way we did when we were their age.
Your sister,
Lesley
***
JILLIAN LAWTON
BARNARD COLLEGE
PLIMPTON HALL
NEW YORK, NY 10025
October 6, 1968
Dear Mr. Murphy,
I hope you don’t mind that I’m writing you, but I haven’t received a letter from Nick in almost a week. Have you heard from him? It isn’t like him not to write. Ever since he was stationed in Vietnam, he’s made a point of writing me at least every other day, just so I won’t worry.
At first I thought there might be some confusion with the mail because I recently returned to school, but my mother assures me nothing’s been delivered to the house, either.
I’ll await your reply.
Sincerely,
Jillian Lawton
***
From the Department of Defense
Addressed to: Mr. Patrick Murphy
It is with deep regret that we
inform you of the death of your son
Nicholas Patrick Murphy
September 16, 1968
in
Vietnam
***
JILLIAN LAWTON
BARNARD COLLEGE
PLIMPTON HALL
NEW YORK, NY 10025
October 8, 1968
Dear Nick,
I screamed when I heard you’d been killed. Screamed and screamed and screamed. My heart has yet to stop screaming. I don’t sleep. I don’t eat. This can’t be happening, this can’t be real. Tell me it isn’t real! It’s like my chest has been caught in a vise that grows tighter and tighter. Sometimes it even hurts to breathe.
My mother was the one to tell me. Your dad phoned her and explained that two soldiers had arrived at the gas station to deliver the news. He was too broken up to tell me himself, so he phoned my mother.
I knew something was wrong when she called, because she was crying and trying to hide it. Only I thought it had to do with my dad. I never dreamed she was calling to say you’d been taken away from me. Never dreamed that a phone
By the way, I got word of your recent “troubles.” What the hell are you doing hanging around with Dirk Andrews? You didn’t learn your lesson about him the last time? We both know Dirk’s bad news. He’s already been arrested twice. I didn’t realize you had a hankering for jail food. Thank God Dad was able to get you out of this scrape, but don’t count on being that fortunate again. Before you decide to step out of the house or do anything, stop and consider the consequences of your actions. Dad only said one thing to me before I left for Nam. “Be a man.” Then he hugged me and asked me to come home. I’m asking you to be a man now, Jimmy, and ditch Dirk before you end up doing jail time for being stupid.
I don’t mean to come down too hard on you. You’re my kid brother and I’ve always looked out for you. It’s harder now with me being so far from home, so I’m relying on you to keep your own nose clean. In other words, stay away from Dirk, and stay out of trouble. I’ve got to end this if it’s going to make today’s mail.
I don’t say this often, Jimmy, but I love you.
Your brother,
Nick
***
October 1, 1968
Dear Susan,
It was so good to hear from you. I knew you’d like the Navy, and if everything goes according to plan, you’ll soon be in nursing school. I envy you the opportunity.
Buck, the kids and I are doing great. We’re anxious to move back to Washington. Dad said there’s a job waiting for Buck at the lumber mill once he’s discharged, but you know Dad, he’s always full of talk. However, Buck worked at the mill before he enlisted, so we’re hoping he can get back on.
Lindy is growing by leaps and bounds. Davey, too. I don’t know how Mom did it with six of us constantly underfoot. Mom wrote and said Mike has a job at the Albertson’s store this summer and Joe’s hoping they’ll hire him next year when he’s old enough to work. He took over Mike’s paper route and has his own money for school clothes. That helps Mom. Bruce and Lily spend most of their time at Lion’s Park swimming, just the way we did when we were their age.
Your sister,
Lesley
***
JILLIAN LAWTON
BARNARD COLLEGE
PLIMPTON HALL
NEW YORK, NY 10025
October 6, 1968
Dear Mr. Murphy,
I hope you don’t mind that I’m writing you, but I haven’t received a letter from Nick in almost a week. Have you heard from him? It isn’t like him not to write. Ever since he was stationed in Vietnam, he’s made a point of writing me at least every other day, just so I won’t worry.
At first I thought there might be some confusion with the mail because I recently returned to school, but my mother assures me nothing’s been delivered to the house, either.
I’ll await your reply.
Sincerely,
Jillian Lawton
***
From the Department of Defense
Addressed to: Mr. Patrick Murphy
It is with deep regret that we
inform you of the death of your son
Nicholas Patrick Murphy
September 16, 1968
in
Vietnam
***
JILLIAN LAWTON
BARNARD COLLEGE
PLIMPTON HALL
NEW YORK, NY 10025
October 8, 1968
Dear Nick,
I screamed when I heard you’d been killed. Screamed and screamed and screamed. My heart has yet to stop screaming. I don’t sleep. I don’t eat. This can’t be happening, this can’t be real. Tell me it isn’t real! It’s like my chest has been caught in a vise that grows tighter and tighter. Sometimes it even hurts to breathe.
My mother was the one to tell me. Your dad phoned her and explained that two soldiers had arrived at the gas station to deliver the news. He was too broken up to tell me himself, so he phoned my mother.
I knew something was wrong when she called, because she was crying and trying to hide it. Only I thought it had to do with my dad. I never dreamed she was calling to say you’d been taken away from me. Never dreamed that a phone
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