know how to love you less or give you more. Everything I do, even the woman I slept with, is because of you. I only see you. It will always be you.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck . He’s had sex with someone? He has given himself to someone and will never give himself to me. He’s right, I didn’t want to know that.
There are a million things I want to say to him but I can hear the instability in his voice- he’s not okay. I don’t know how I feel about Luca at this moment, but I know I don’t want to push him into that scary place he goes to. “I’m gonna go, Luca,” I tell him, careful to control my voice so it doesn’t sound pissed off.
“Jude, please. Don’t do this. Don’t hang up on me. Just talk to me for a second.”
“I’m not hanging up on you, Luca. I don’t want to say things that are mean and unfair to you. I’m pissed. I don’t know if I should be or not. Let me think about it, okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Damn it, Jude. Don’t go, don’t hang up that phone…”
“I love you, Luca,” I say before pushing the end button and turning off my phone.
Chapter Thirteen - Luca
Jude had her phone off all damn night and this morning too. I need to talk to her, I need to see her, so I’m back on the stairs of her dorm which, as far as I can tell, will be my new second home. A couple of the girls waved to me in a familiar way today like I’m a doorman who hangs out twenty feet from the door.
When she finally comes out my heart stops for a second like I didn’t just see her yesterday morning. She looks tired but beautiful. Her hair is pulled back in a sloppy braid, exposing her perfect face. Her eyes get lighter when she’s tired and right now they look liquid. Her fat, red lips and her crazy beautiful eyes… god, she is so beautiful. She’s covered up her long, tan legs with a pair of jeans and I’m grateful for that. After hearing about the guys that have seen her… touched her… the last thing I want is a campus full of guys looking at her bare skin. Her chest is covered too, but her black and white stripped Henley is tight enough that her perfect body is evident.
She’s walking with a tall, waif of a girl dressed in chucks, fishnet stockings, cutoff jean-shorts and a polka dot blouse. Her short, white hair is spiked up in a feaux hawk. This must be Piper Post.
Jude looks at me and gives me a smile but I can tell it’s forced. She’s trying though, not to be pissed at me, and I guess that’s good. Why I told her the shit I did, I don’t know. She asked and I guess I thought it was fair, especially since the idea of us together is constantly on my mind. She needs to know the things I’ve done. I walk to her, but unlike the day she arrived, I don’t take her into my arms and she doesn’t try to go there.
“Hey, Luca,” she says like she’s bored to death. She and her friend have both stopped on the steps next to me. “This is Piper, the girl I was telling you about.”
“Well that can’t be good,” Piper says looking at Jude, ignoring me completely. See, I want to say to Jude , those girls just think I’m an oddity. This girl has clearly seen versions of me before, so she doesn’t even give me a double take . But any conversation that involves me and a girl is not good right now.
“It’s not your fault,” I tell Piper about the weed smoking incident, “this one may be acting all sweet and innocent, but she’s not.”
“Thanks, Sherlock,” Piper says, looking at me now, “but I already figured that out. I’ll see you later,” she says to Jude, before walking away.
“Nice girl,” I say to Jude.
“She knew I was upset when she saw me this morning. She must have good instincts and knew it was your fault,” she says, grabbing a hold of my hand and walking the rest of the way down the steps. I’m immediately relived; that she’s joking with me, that she’s touching me. “Are you walking me to class?”
“Yeah, if
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck . He’s had sex with someone? He has given himself to someone and will never give himself to me. He’s right, I didn’t want to know that.
There are a million things I want to say to him but I can hear the instability in his voice- he’s not okay. I don’t know how I feel about Luca at this moment, but I know I don’t want to push him into that scary place he goes to. “I’m gonna go, Luca,” I tell him, careful to control my voice so it doesn’t sound pissed off.
“Jude, please. Don’t do this. Don’t hang up on me. Just talk to me for a second.”
“I’m not hanging up on you, Luca. I don’t want to say things that are mean and unfair to you. I’m pissed. I don’t know if I should be or not. Let me think about it, okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Damn it, Jude. Don’t go, don’t hang up that phone…”
“I love you, Luca,” I say before pushing the end button and turning off my phone.
Chapter Thirteen - Luca
Jude had her phone off all damn night and this morning too. I need to talk to her, I need to see her, so I’m back on the stairs of her dorm which, as far as I can tell, will be my new second home. A couple of the girls waved to me in a familiar way today like I’m a doorman who hangs out twenty feet from the door.
When she finally comes out my heart stops for a second like I didn’t just see her yesterday morning. She looks tired but beautiful. Her hair is pulled back in a sloppy braid, exposing her perfect face. Her eyes get lighter when she’s tired and right now they look liquid. Her fat, red lips and her crazy beautiful eyes… god, she is so beautiful. She’s covered up her long, tan legs with a pair of jeans and I’m grateful for that. After hearing about the guys that have seen her… touched her… the last thing I want is a campus full of guys looking at her bare skin. Her chest is covered too, but her black and white stripped Henley is tight enough that her perfect body is evident.
She’s walking with a tall, waif of a girl dressed in chucks, fishnet stockings, cutoff jean-shorts and a polka dot blouse. Her short, white hair is spiked up in a feaux hawk. This must be Piper Post.
Jude looks at me and gives me a smile but I can tell it’s forced. She’s trying though, not to be pissed at me, and I guess that’s good. Why I told her the shit I did, I don’t know. She asked and I guess I thought it was fair, especially since the idea of us together is constantly on my mind. She needs to know the things I’ve done. I walk to her, but unlike the day she arrived, I don’t take her into my arms and she doesn’t try to go there.
“Hey, Luca,” she says like she’s bored to death. She and her friend have both stopped on the steps next to me. “This is Piper, the girl I was telling you about.”
“Well that can’t be good,” Piper says looking at Jude, ignoring me completely. See, I want to say to Jude , those girls just think I’m an oddity. This girl has clearly seen versions of me before, so she doesn’t even give me a double take . But any conversation that involves me and a girl is not good right now.
“It’s not your fault,” I tell Piper about the weed smoking incident, “this one may be acting all sweet and innocent, but she’s not.”
“Thanks, Sherlock,” Piper says, looking at me now, “but I already figured that out. I’ll see you later,” she says to Jude, before walking away.
“Nice girl,” I say to Jude.
“She knew I was upset when she saw me this morning. She must have good instincts and knew it was your fault,” she says, grabbing a hold of my hand and walking the rest of the way down the steps. I’m immediately relived; that she’s joking with me, that she’s touching me. “Are you walking me to class?”
“Yeah, if
Similar Books
