do some dancing and kissing ‘in da club’ and then in a moment of passion decide to have sex with them. Oh no! Now you will go to Hades!
YOU WON’T.
What will happen is this: you’ll wake up the next morning and everything will feel forced and awkward. If you’re lucky you’ll get a cup of coffee and a bit of toast before being politely shepherded out. THIS IS FINE. You don’t have to marry this person, they probably don’t want to marry you either. It’s unlikely the townspeople will come tearing down the street with flaming torches and pitchforks either. Hopefully you practised safe sex so you have nothing to worry about unduly.
Sometimes all of the above will happen and you’ll chat the next morning and realise you met someone really good and three years later you’ll get married. These things also happen. Casual sex can become something more.
It’s a numbers game. It must be lovely to be the 0.00000001 per cent of couples who end up with their childhood sweetheart. The rest of us, however, need to play the field a bit before scoring a goal. You shouldn’t feel GUILTY about doing what comes naturally to all mammals but you should be safe and smart about it.
There may also be times in your life when you just don’t WANT to do the whole relationship thing. Having a partner can be fantastic but only if they’re the right person. What are you meant to do in the meantime? Luckily there are also guys and girls who are just looking for a bit of fun between boyfriends (or kissing frogs to find a prince). Hurrah! The itch is scratched and fun is had.
There are lots of reasons why you might not want a relationship. Perhaps you’re too busy to date, maybe you’ve just come out of a big relationship, maybe you just can’t be bothered. Fact is, sometimes people have casual sex and that is fine as long as you’re both HONEST and SAFE. Remember, you don’t HAVE to be in a relationship with someone to have sex with them, but you DO need to be honest about it. How would you feel if you woke up next to a super-cute specimen you really wanted to take out to dinner only to find out they didn’t really want to date you at all. And, as for being safe, do I seriously need to say it again? Turn to chapter five for more on ALWAYS USING A CONDOM and other safe-sex tips.
NOT HAVING SEX
A s mentioned before, there are also times when you might just not feel like sex. There’s a lot to be said for waiting until someone really special comes along. A period of celibacy isn’t something to be ashamed of. Always better to be picky than sicky when it comes to sex, I feel.
HERE’S THE THING: You know how I just said it was FINE to be celibate, have a sexual relationship or have casual sex? Well it is, but there’s a catch. I wonder if I can make it clear.
----
YOU HAVE TO BE 100% HONEST WITH YOUR PARTNER UPFRONT
----
Otherwise you run the risk of being a massive lothario dickhead, and we don’t want that now, do we? For example if you are feeling like some no-strings sex it wouldn’t be very nice to promise the person you’re trying to bed a long and healthy relationship, would it? No, it would make you a monstrous shitweasel. Similarly, pretending you don’t want a relationship when you do because you’re worried it might scare a potential partner off is cowardly.
If everyone was ALWAYS upfront and honest when it came to dating and sex the ice cream industry would go bankrupt in days as no one would have to sit next to a silent phone shovelling Häagen-Dazs in their gob whilst weeping WHY HAVEN’T THEY CALLED?
The only reason to lie is to make yourself look better or because you’re scared. Don’t be a douchebag. Man up. If you’re a big enough boy to have sex, you’re big enough to talk about it honestly.
BEING A BOYFRIEND
T he jury is still very much out on WHY the animals went into the ark two-by-two given that, in the animal kingdom, nearly ALL mammals are massively into free-love. Only a handful of
YOU WON’T.
What will happen is this: you’ll wake up the next morning and everything will feel forced and awkward. If you’re lucky you’ll get a cup of coffee and a bit of toast before being politely shepherded out. THIS IS FINE. You don’t have to marry this person, they probably don’t want to marry you either. It’s unlikely the townspeople will come tearing down the street with flaming torches and pitchforks either. Hopefully you practised safe sex so you have nothing to worry about unduly.
Sometimes all of the above will happen and you’ll chat the next morning and realise you met someone really good and three years later you’ll get married. These things also happen. Casual sex can become something more.
It’s a numbers game. It must be lovely to be the 0.00000001 per cent of couples who end up with their childhood sweetheart. The rest of us, however, need to play the field a bit before scoring a goal. You shouldn’t feel GUILTY about doing what comes naturally to all mammals but you should be safe and smart about it.
There may also be times in your life when you just don’t WANT to do the whole relationship thing. Having a partner can be fantastic but only if they’re the right person. What are you meant to do in the meantime? Luckily there are also guys and girls who are just looking for a bit of fun between boyfriends (or kissing frogs to find a prince). Hurrah! The itch is scratched and fun is had.
There are lots of reasons why you might not want a relationship. Perhaps you’re too busy to date, maybe you’ve just come out of a big relationship, maybe you just can’t be bothered. Fact is, sometimes people have casual sex and that is fine as long as you’re both HONEST and SAFE. Remember, you don’t HAVE to be in a relationship with someone to have sex with them, but you DO need to be honest about it. How would you feel if you woke up next to a super-cute specimen you really wanted to take out to dinner only to find out they didn’t really want to date you at all. And, as for being safe, do I seriously need to say it again? Turn to chapter five for more on ALWAYS USING A CONDOM and other safe-sex tips.
NOT HAVING SEX
A s mentioned before, there are also times when you might just not feel like sex. There’s a lot to be said for waiting until someone really special comes along. A period of celibacy isn’t something to be ashamed of. Always better to be picky than sicky when it comes to sex, I feel.
HERE’S THE THING: You know how I just said it was FINE to be celibate, have a sexual relationship or have casual sex? Well it is, but there’s a catch. I wonder if I can make it clear.
----
YOU HAVE TO BE 100% HONEST WITH YOUR PARTNER UPFRONT
----
Otherwise you run the risk of being a massive lothario dickhead, and we don’t want that now, do we? For example if you are feeling like some no-strings sex it wouldn’t be very nice to promise the person you’re trying to bed a long and healthy relationship, would it? No, it would make you a monstrous shitweasel. Similarly, pretending you don’t want a relationship when you do because you’re worried it might scare a potential partner off is cowardly.
If everyone was ALWAYS upfront and honest when it came to dating and sex the ice cream industry would go bankrupt in days as no one would have to sit next to a silent phone shovelling Häagen-Dazs in their gob whilst weeping WHY HAVEN’T THEY CALLED?
The only reason to lie is to make yourself look better or because you’re scared. Don’t be a douchebag. Man up. If you’re a big enough boy to have sex, you’re big enough to talk about it honestly.
BEING A BOYFRIEND
T he jury is still very much out on WHY the animals went into the ark two-by-two given that, in the animal kingdom, nearly ALL mammals are massively into free-love. Only a handful of
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