Behind the Albergue Door: Inspiration Agony Adventure on the Camino de Santiago by Dean Johnston

Pickup Lines section for ways to become pre -coital).
    Change your socks every time you take a break
    This gives your feet a chance to air out before going back into a nice dry pair of socks for the next leg of your journey. Dry, comfortable feet are less likely to develop blisters, plus it feels amazing, like when you take Demerol before a wrestling party, or line dancing with your great-aunt.
    Don’t shower before you hike
    This one doesn’t come up too often since showering before hiking all day is somewhat counterintuitive. Either way, I was skeptical, and pretty sure it was just some gross lazy dude’s way of justifying his uncouth hygiene. But both times that circumstances led to a morning shower (each time in an effort to squeeze every last euro of value and pleasure out of a private hotel room) I found my feet got sore more quickly and were definitely more tender, much like my tongue after a long day of licking stamps for my UFC fan mail.
    Only take cold showers
    The cold water brings down the swelling in your feet (and everything else, let me assure you) which will supposedly lead to less friction and fewer blisters. Not to mention ruining the one decent part of your whole day.
    Tie your shoes tight
    Less movement, less friction, less blood flow to build blisters with.
    Leave your shoes loose
    More movement, only light friction, more blood flow to let your feet fight blisters.
    Pop blisters with a needle
    This relieves the pressure and helps make further walking bearable. There are three methods of doing so:
Simply pierce the blister, drain the fluid and cover it back up. This is fast and easy but will usually need to be repeated every few hours.
Stick a needle all the way through then wrench it back and forth to ensure it doesn’t re-seal and fill up again. Of course, this opens it up to bacteria and the possibility of infection, not to mention requiring you to allow a volunteering stranger to do painful and absurd things to your feet.
Tie a piece of thread to the needle then stick it all the way through the blister. Cut the needle loose, leaving the thread behind. This will keep the blister from sealing itself and re-filling with liquid, doesn’t involve a Spaniard with a ponytail hunched over your foot working up a sweat and does not leave the blister as open to infection as the second method. Unless you use a piece of thread you found stuck to the wall of the shower.
    Do not pop blisters with a needle
    That fluid buildup is your body’s way of protecting the area from further irritation. The best course of action is to simply leave it as is and stay off your feet until it goes away on its own. Usually no more than three to four days and you’ll be good as new.
    Wear solid hiking shoes or boots
    These provide good support and do less bending and twisting while you walk on rocks and other rough surfaces. They also make satisfying clunking noises on pavement and can be used to intimidate fellow patrons in restrooms of tapas bars, not to mention making your feet look big and healthy.
    Wear light comfortable cross-trainers
    These are usually lighter and more comfortable than hikers but don’t deal well with rough trails or rain. And they are practically useless when it comes to kicking large rocks down the road to pass the time and show off your soccer skills.
    Wear thick socks
    More padding, less direct contact between your feet and your shoes, and when you put them on it feels like you’re wrapping your feet in your favourite comfy duvet, the one with popcorn stains that smells like nachos and hand lotion.
    Wear thin socks
    I don’t even know what the reasoning is supposed to be behind this one. I think he just wanted to be included and had run out of ideas that didn’t involve lubricants.
    Wear socks with individual toes
    The idea is that they keep your toes from rubbing together and accidentally starting small brush fires in your shoes. The downside is the way they create less room for your toes and end