Behind the Albergue Door: Inspiration Agony Adventure on the Camino de Santiago

Behind the Albergue Door: Inspiration Agony Adventure on the Camino de Santiago by Dean Johnston Page A

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Authors: Dean Johnston
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up jamming them all together like a fat family in a Smart car.
    Wear dirty socks
    Yeah, there is actually a myth that if you want to avoid blisters don’t wash your socks. Not surprisingly, no specific or even remotely plausible explanations were given as to why or how this would work. My theory is it made her feel less self-conscious about the smell emanating from her feet.
    Put on a band-aid as soon as you feel anything
    Hey, as far as I’m concerned it can’t hurt, and it’s as good an excuse as any to take a break. Of course, the term “anything” needs to be taken with a grain of salt since your band-aids aren’t likely to accomplish much in the case of appendicitis, or pangs of guilt over how badly you treated the guy who gave you a parking ticket for being just two minutes late.
    Tape up every toe
    Not just the ones with blisters. Because, as some of our friends found, if you tape one toe then, sure, it’ll be fine, but then it rubs on the one beside it and the next thing you know you have a blister on that toe, too. So you tape it up, then it starts rubbing on the third toe and, well, I think you get the picture.
    Put Compeed, like, everywhere
    This stuff seems to be the new big thing in blister technology and blister-related activities. They are wax-like poultices that are applied to the affected area where they harden into a protective shell, supposedly even keeping moisture out. I have not tried Compeed myself, but one important lesson I learned from other pilgrims was that the key is to put it on BEFORE the blister is bulbously filled with liquid and, you know, all blistery and that. Because if you wait until then you should expect that when you finally remove the Compeed it is going to greedily take as much skin with it as possible. In the case of a certain female friend, that amount turned out to be, well, all of it.
    Brought to you by the makers of Compeed (also known for their custom Halloween masks and incredibly lifelike sex toys). Specializing in long walks to Halloween orgies since 2005.
    German foot rub
    The specific healing properties of this activity are somewhat debatable but, still, where is the downside i n having the clammy hands of a citizen of a European superpower knead your tender feet submissively for twenty minutes while you daydream of mall foot baths and that slender podiatrist who coaches your kid’s soccer team?
    Scowl at your blisters for long periods of time
    Supposedly if you concentrate your anger strongly enough sooner or later the blister will begin to cower in fear and eventually wander off to live on some teenager’s palm at a tech school somewhere.
    Quit hiking
    The only method that has been proven 100% effective.



On the Trail FAQ
    Why would anyone in their right mind want to hike all day long?
    Well, “right mind” is a very subjective term. And something that one could argue was in short supply on the Camino. It seemed as though everyone had a different motivation. For some it was meant to be a meditative experience – time to think, get to know oneself, maybe let your tongue rest and recover from an exhausting summer. Others were specifically hoping to get in shape, which rarely worked as well as expected thanks to limited changes in actual heart rate and eating patterns that would disgust a Mongolian pony breeder. Although basically everyone did quickly became enthralled with the new shape of their thighs. Some of those hiking for religious purposes treated it a bit like penance, I suppose in lieu of a portable cat o’ nine tails or a Twilight novel. Maybe most surprisingly, there were a fair number of pilgrims who I can safely say never actually considered the actual hiking part of the Camino, as hard as that may be to believe. Whether it was because of how “The Way” conveniently glossed over the meat of the undertaking, or the fact that the actual walking requires the least amount of planning or, more likely, simple delusional rose-coloured glasses, a lot

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